Skate or Die/Script

Lee: "You know what almost sucks worse than getting detention for a whole year?" [Cards for the football team appear.] "Getting crushed on the football field trying to find out who set me up for it." [disappointed] "It was a dead end." [A photo of the team appears with Ed circled in black marker.] "Ed the waterboy didn't set me up, but he was the school thief. And he stole a can of paint from my bag during the prank." [The can is shown.] "Which, wasn't mine." [A picture of his bag appears onscreen.] "So someone planted it in my bag to make it look like I did it. And now, I have to sneak out of detention. Again. To find out who it was."

Detentionaire

4:12:14 PM Lee: "At 4:15, detention gets out. But I'm on the other side of the school! Luckily, my co-pilot Biffy has things under control. Well, sorta." Biffy: [in Lee's earpiece] "Uh, Barrage is off the map. I don't know where he is!" [Lee's eyes widen in fear.] "But I'm pretty sure he got the message." [Lee's eyes dart back and forth in a mad panic.] Lee: "Uh, forget the prank, I think I hear–" [Heavy metal footsteps clomp down a hallway outside of the room he's in.] "Barrage!" ''[Lee and Holger (who is dressed in an odd red bodysuit with an H on the chest) scatter, looking for cover. The door bursts open, and Barrage enters, cyborg eye gleaming. His eye does an infrared scan of the room, and picks up the body heat of someone hiding behind a desk.]'' Principal General Barrage: [approaching Lee's hiding place] "Well. What do we have here?"

Earlier that day...8:14 AM [Students are still trailing into the school as Chaz and Tina start the morning edition of the school news.] Tina: [looking distressed] "Good morning A. Nigma High students I'm Tina Kwee. This is–" Chaz: "Chaz Monerainian. And we are your school news, well, mostly me, not so much we." Tina: [irritated] "And here are today's top stories!" [She fakes a smile.] Chaz: "And by top stories, she means the very best explosive exciting in-your-face newsy actiony stuff! Handpicked by yours truly, the man, the legend, the Chaz." ''[Lee, bored with Chaz's spiel, tunes out. Soon, he notices Holger scribbling away in a notebook.]'' Lee: "Um, Holger? Intense much?" Holger: [smiling] "Me no more pencil break with new–" [serious] "–Alpha Turbo Mach Pen!" [smiling] "See?" ''[Holger puts pen to paper again in order to write more, but hits the paper too hard. His pen explodes, spraying ink all over his face and clothes. The rest of the class laughs at Holger's misfortune, including an amused Lee.]'' Tina: "There's still one day left to vote for Student of the Week!" Chaz: "And if you haven't voted yet, grab a pen and make your voice heard!" Holger: [staring at the crumpled remains of his pen] "Ohhh..." Tina: "But be sure to try and vote for the student that best exemplifies success in academics, athletics, and–" Chaz: [fake snoring] "Snore me a river, Tina. We all know it's a popularity contest. And I like it that way. And here's the latest polls everyone wants to see!" ''[Stepak places an image of a popularity poll in front of the camera. In first place is the Red Tazelwurm, polling at over 100%. In second is Lee, with approximately 90%, and third place is a dead heat between Kimmie McAdams and Brad Von Chillstein, with both of them polling at over 65%. In fifth place on the chart, and as the last one listed, is Steve, who pulled down ratings of just over 25%.]'' Tina: "Tune in tomorrow, when I'll be interviewing the winner live on TV." Chaz: "Neeeow, wrong again, Tina. I'll be doing that interview, on a special segment I like to call–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" Tina: "Gunh! More like Chaz's Snorer! There is no way that I'm gonna let you–" Chaz: "Yeah? Really? Because I'll tell you what, that top is a snorer." Tina: "Well I–" Chaz: "Yeah." [In Lee's homeroom class, Holger pops up in front of Lee's face, completely clean except for his blue teeth.] Holger: "See?" [smacking his lips] "Holger make clean."

''[When the bell rings, Holger and Lee exit their class. Cam comes up behind them.]'' Camillio: "Hey yo, so am I standing beside the next hombre of the week or what what?" Holger: [giggling bashfully] "Holger mess up football tryouts, but Holger is new boy of water. So ja, maybe." Camillio: "Uh, I was actually talking to Lee?" Lee: [sarcastic] "Heh. Student of the Week, big deal! Yay! Throw a parade!" ''[Holger, taking Lee seriously, blows a kazoo in his ear. The Red Tazelwurm, which was sitting on top of a bank of lockers, is startled by the sound and takes off in the background.]'' Lee: [regaining his hearing] "Yeah well you guys go off and enjoy your lunch. I have detention." Camillio: "What about that paint you found, dude?" Lee: "What about it? It's green paint, it's-it's a dead end. What's it tell me?" Camillio: "That whoever set you up has horrible taste in decorating?" [This joke manages to elicit a laugh from Lee.] Lee: [cheered up] "Okay guys, I gotta scramble before Barrage catches me." ''[Lee splits up with his friends. A skater puts a book in his locker and shuts it. He spots Lee.]'' Zed: "Sup, Ping, Prankmaster! You gonna send us another email or what?" Unnamed Skater: "Yeah whatcha got planned for this week, huh?" Ned: "We're gonna need something epically monolithically humongous." Lee: "What?" Unnamed Skater: "Aw, look how long this string is!" Ned: "Hey, lemme see that." [He grabs the rope, tangles himself up in it, and crashes.] Zed: "Bummer you had to be the one that got busted for the last one though, huh?" [He jabs a friendly elbow into Lee's chest.] Lee: [confused] "Last one? What?" [LaGreenor Jonesones walks past.] Zed: [looking at LaGreenor's shoes] "Whoa, the new flattop grooves!" [The skaters skate after him.] Lee: "Guys!" [He gives chase but is swiftly stopped.] Brandy: "Leaping!" [She affixes a campaign button to his shirt.] Lee: "Ouch!" [He takes the button off.] "It's Lee Ping. Not–" Brandy: [ignoring him] "Sooo, Kimmy has decided that she wants to win Student of the Week this week and like, every week, so..." Lee: "Sooo..." [catching on] "No prob, I'll vote for her." ''[Satisfied, Lee turns around and begins to head for detention. However, Brandy hustles in front of him.]'' Brandy: "Great. But, since you're like my man and everything, I'm gonna need you to help me spread the word. Y'know, during lunch? After school?" [She holds the box of buttons out to him.] Lee: [refusing the box] "That's when I have detention." Camillio: [walking up] "Heyyy, but I don't." [Lee smiles and backs away while Brandy is distracted.] "I'll roll with you and your chicas. And get the word out. You know, if you, put in like a, good word for me with your pals? Know what I'm saying know what I'm saying?" Brandy: "Ugh!" Camillio: [to everyone] "Yo everyone! Vote for Kimmy! She's gonna make homework illegal and stuff!" [to Brandy] "She could do that, right?" Brandy: [handing Cam the box] "Whatev, you're hired."

Lee: [running through the halls] "Where'd those skaters go?" [He throws open a door and skids to a stop.] "Gah! Tina!" Tina: [looking up] "Just the guy I was looking for!" Lee: [smiling] "Me? Well–uh–" [dreamily] "Hi." Tina: [tucking one leg behind the other and nervously eying the floor] "You might actually win Student of the Week. Even though it was for a silly prank." [looking up nervously] "But it was kinda cool." Lee: "Really? You think so?" Tina: "It's not something I'd do, but–sometimes you–gotta do what it–was that you did–y'know–to–stick it to the man, or–" ''[Tina stares back at the ground. Suddenly, she gets an idea and sticks her tape recorder in his face.]'' "Or was it all just a setup so you could win Student of the Week! A. Nigma students want to know." Chaz: [appearing behind Lee] "Lee Ping!" [He grabs Lee.] "Chaz Monerainian, looking for an exclusive interview for–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" [holding out a contract and speaking normally] "Just sign here, here, here, initial here." [Tina growls and stomps over.] "One more. Thanks Ping." Tina: [annoyed] "Excuse me, I'm the one interviewing Student of the Week." Chaz: "Uh-uh." [Lee leaves.] Tina: "Uh-huh!" [Chaz and Tina continue to argue as Lee approaches Zed, who is sitting at a lunch table.] Lee: "Hey. What d'you mean, another email?" Zed: "Like the one for the day one prank dude, we did everything you said." [The doors to the cafeteria open, and the sounds of an angry cyborg principal are heard.] Principal General Barrage: "Lee Ping! Is this a game of Broken Telephone in the seventh level of Sam Heck? When in smoky tarnations are you gonna get it through your teeny-weenie striped bikini little water head that lunchtime is FREE TIME! AND DURING FREE TIME, WHERE. ARE YOU. SUPPOSED TO BE?!?!?" Lee: "Um–" [smiling nervously] "Detention?" Principal General Barrage: [throwing his arms out wide] "See? You can teach monkeys to swim." [pointing towards the detention room] "PLATOON, MOVE OUT! Hup, two, three, four, hup!"

[Lee walks towards detention.] Tina: [on the intercom] "Would the following students report to Room 113b. Zed Point Conasty and Fred Connor." [Lee takes out his phone and makes a call.] Holger: [answering] "Holger says hello." Lee: "Hey, Holg, can you do me a solid?" Holger: [in the lunchroom] "Where is Lee? Where is Cam? Holger lonely." Lee: "Cam's with Brandy. I need you to keep an eye on Barrage right now." Holger: [looking around shiftily] "For heroic spy mission?" Lee: "Yeah, sure. I need a...sidekick to tail Barrage." Holger: [excited] "Aye! Aye! Holger be sidekicker!" Lee: "Just–call me if he goes through the parking lot or to the detention room, okay?" Holger: "Holger definitely volunteer. Bye-bye." [Holger hangs up, and Barrage walks past.] "Time to disco party, robot face!" [Holger follows Barrage out of the cafeteria and begins singing his own theme music.] "Dom dun dun dun dun, dun." [leaping from shadow to shadow] "I'm just a sneaky Holger in the shadows! Doot do do do do do!"

''[Lee looks out from his hiding place behind a parked car. He spots the skaters pulling tricks nearby.]'' Zed: [spotting Lee] "Ping!" ''[He waves. Lee leaves his hiding place and approaches them.]'' Lee: "Hey guys, about the prank. Can we rewind a sec? Did you really–" Zed: [skating past] "Catch me if you can!" ''[Zed laughs. Ned hands Lee a skateboard, and the three other skaters give chase.]'' Lee: [annoyed] "Ugh. I've met squirrels with longer attention spans!" Ted: [offscreen] "Keep up, Ping!" ''[Lee drops the skateboard and gives chase. Soon, he's caught up to the group of skaters.]'' Lee: [to Ned] "Hey. The prank on the first day of school? You did all that?" Ned: "Just the paint part." ''[The skaters swerve around a car, and Lee follows them. This time, he approaches Ted.]'' Ted: "Nice choice of color. Radioactive booger green." Lee: "Choice? I didn't choose anything." [The unnamed skater lightly shoves Lee as he skates past.] Unnamed Skater: "Tsch yeah right Ping, uh, the email?" Lee: [frustrated and confused] "What email?" ''[Lee skates up to Zed to ask him, but as it turns out Zed is planning a prank. He shakes up two cans of Green Apple Splat, clangs them together, and then opens them all over a pursuing Lee's shirt. This causes Lee to lose control, and he swerves wildly until he crashes into a black SUV.]'' Zed: [overjoyed] "Bro! Your mom's SUV!" ''[He laughs. Lee gets up, shocked, and realizes he's taken out the driver's side mirror.]'' Lee: "She's gonna kill me!" [He fruitlessly attempts to reattach the mirror.] Ted: "So, Pingster, what's with the suspense, huh, you trying to freak us out or what?" [He laughs.] Zed: "Yeah what's our next prank?" Lee: [annoyed] "Yeah, sorta in the middle of something here. It happened two seconds ago. You probably forgot." Unnamed Skater: "Whaddo we do?" Zed: "C'mon, tell us, Lee!" Ted: "Lee?" Ned: "Uh, Lee?" Zed: "Leeeeee?" Lee: [frustrated and angry] "I don't know! Look, you're the paint guys! Dump some of it on the Student of the Week or something!" [Lee finally manages to reattach the mirror, and he smiles.] Zed: "Dude! On live TV? Totally clutch! But it's missing something..." [The newly reattached mirror tilts off-kilter, and Lee loses his smile.] Lee: [fiddling with the mirror again] "Uhh! Why won't you stay on!" Zed: [tapping Lee on the shoulder] "Lee?" Lee: [frustrated] "I don't know! Whatever! Rig the ballot box, make it whoever you want. Barrage even." [The mirror stays affixed.] "There. Finally." [He stands back proudly and admires his handiwork.] Zed: "That's perfect!" Lee: [focused on the mirror] "Ha! I know. But it's still cracked." ''[Lee's phone rings. He answers.]'' Holger: [happy] "Sidekick number one to hero! Barrage is coming!" Lee: [gasping in fear] "It's Barrage!"

''[Barrage is walking through the parking lot. Holger is still tailing him and has ostensibly avoided being noticed by the principal.]'' Holger: [still singing theme music] "Dun dun dah!" ''[Holger spots the skaters and waves. They, and Lee, take off, and the mirror on Mrs. Ping's car falls off again. Suddenly, Barrage gets suspicious and starts looking around, but every time he turns Holger manages to evade his gaze. Suddenly, Holger's phone rings, and he dives behind a parked car before Barrage can spot him.]'' Lee: "Holg! Turn Barrage away!" [Holger begins following Barrage again, this time separated from him by a row of parked cars.] Holger: "Holger try, but–robot leg." [Barrage's metal foot lands on a full can of Green Apple Splat, crushing it.] "Scary!" ''[Barrage hears him and heads in the direction of his voice. Holger covers his mouth and whispers.]'' "Huuuh! Outdoor voice!" ''[To avoid being captured, Holger backflips into the bushes by the school. Along the way, though, his phone falls out of his pocket.]'' Principal General Barrage: [seeing a game on the phone] "Tanks? Snipers? Right up my alley! Hoo-wah, confiscated!" ''[The general, distracted by his new game, walks away from the bushes in which Holger is hiding. Lee dives into a different set of bushes and wriggles his way through them to higher ground, where he has a vantage point of Barrage discovering the broken mirror on his mother's car.]'' Principal General Barrage: [upset] "Who! Did! This!" ''[Lee quickly ducks down and crawls, using the bushes for cover. Unfortunately for him, he bumps into the legs of his "girlfriend."]'' Brandy: "Leaping!" [Brandy's exclamation catches the attention of Barrage; however, Lee is able to react quickly enough that he can pull them down to obscure them from the principal's sight.] Lee: [whispering] "Ssh! Keep it down!" Brandy: [offended] "Don't shush me! You told me that you had detention!" Lee: [whispering] "I do, but I snuck out so I–" Brandy: "I am waiting! Hello! Why are you–" Lee: [quiet] "Ssh! Please, you have to–" Brandy: [loudly, into Lee's face] "Answer me! Leapi–" [Acting on instinct, Lee mashes his mouth against hers to shut her up.] Camillio: [worried] "Oh boy." ''[In the background, a shadowy figure stands up and snaps a picture before running off. Meanwhile, Barrage is distracted from investigating the bushes by somebody else in the parking lot.]'' Biffy: [playing with an orange cat] "Hey Mr. Rumplekittykat. Who's excited about your almost finished sweater?" [The principal starts walking towards the bully.] "That's right! Me!" [picking up the cat] "Aw, but you'll be too when you–" Principal General Barrage: "You!" [Biffy quickly hides the cat behind his back.] "You look like the kinda kid who'd break that mirror, and sell your bagel-loving grandma for a pack of secondhand tootie-patooties! At fifteen-fifteen, you will report to detention! Is that clear, Mr. Puffball Vermin-Lover!" Biffy: "His name is Mr. Rumplekittykat." [walking away] "And yeah. It's crystal clear." [Lee has broken the kiss, and Brandy is just kneeling there, catatonic.] Lee: "Gotta go." ''[He takes off. Cam's eyes shift from side-to-side as he waits for Brandy to snap out of it.]'' Camillio: "Awkward!"

''[Lee gets out of his final class at 3:10. He spots Tina in the halls and smiles. Before he can walk over to her and strike up a conversation, however, Cam runs up.]'' Camillio: "Dude! You kissed Brandy!" [The eyes of Lee and Tina widen in shock.] "Loco!" [He walks away.] Lee: "Ssh!" [following Cam] "It wasn't a real kiss, and I just needed her to–" Camillio: "Give you some lip? Yeah, kinda noticed. You tell Holgermiester yet?" Lee: "No! And don't you either!" [Lee and Cam spot the Glamazons walking down the hall in their direction.] Kimmie: "Shuh! So, we're heading to the mall. You can meet us after you stick up all these fliers." [She shoves a box into Brandy's arms.] Lee: [as Cam stares lustfully at the girls] "Uh, gotta book. Detention." Camillio: "Yeah okay you run away I got this." [He heads towards the girls with a smile on his face and a swagger in his step.] Kimmie: "Ciao! C'mon girls." Camillio: [darting up] "Hey hey hey!" [to Brandy] "So did you tell your amigas the latest about–" Brandy: [nervous] "How well the fliers are sticking to the wall?" [She fakes a laugh.] "Of course!" [Kimmie and the Glamazons, deciding that this conversation will not be getting interesting anytime soon, continue on their way.] Kimmie: "Toodles, loseio." Camillio: [after they leave, to Brandy] "Yo what gives? You okay?" Brandy: "Nothing gives, I'm fine. What is this, like twenty questions?" [shoving the box into Cam's arms] "Here." ''[Cam collapses under the weight of the heavy box as Brandy walks away. Lee, meanwhile, hears the skaters call to him.]'' Zed: [in a stage whisper] "Ping! We're totally doing it!" Lee: "What? I gotta get to detention." Ned: "Your prank with the paint on Barrage's head is gonna be epic." Unnamed Skater: [messing with his skateboard] "Dude, I bet I can get all four wheels to spin at the same time!" Lee: "My prank? I was only kidding!" Zed: "Barrage and those news nerds are gonna be living it up in green paint splatter city!" Lee: [gasping] "Tina!" Zed: [playing with the unnamed skater's skateboard] "Lemme try!" Lee: [grabbing the skateboard away] "Guys, I've got a way better plan." [A shadow falls over him from behind.] "Seriously guys, how about we just TP Barrage's car or something?" ''[The skaters stare at him, mouths agape. Lee's eyes slowly widen.]'' Lee: "He's behind me, isn't he?" Principal General Barrage: [putting a threatening hand on Lee's shoulder] "You wanna do what with whose car?" [picking Lee up] "You are so dead–" [Holger's confiscated phone beeps.] "Oh! Catfish crabcakes! I forgot to hit pause!"

''[Biffy is playing with his cat when he hears metal footsteps coming down the hall. He quickly hides the cat behind his back.]'' Principal General Barrage: [bursting into the room holding Lee aloft] "Alright! You know the drill!" [yelling at the phone] "Not that way! Retreat!" [to the detentionaires] "I wanna see suffering." [to his phone] "Open fire!" [to the detentionaires] "Clear?" ''[Biffy grins shakily while Lee looks scared. Satisfied, Barrage leaves. As soon as he's gone, Biffy holds his cat up to Lee's face.]'' Biffy: "Mr. Rumplekittykat, this is Lee–" [The cat licks Lee's face.] "–or as I like to call him, 'Schmoochy-face.'" [in falsetto] "Oh Lee!" [deep-voiced] "Oh Brandy." [falsetto] "I love you!" [deep] "Ah-mm-mm-mm." [He kisses the air.] "Mm-mm-mm." Lee: [shocked] "How'd you know about that?" Biffy: [playing with his cat] "Dude, it's me, I know everything, it's scary sometimes." [He gasps and holds up the cat sweater.] "This is for you! It's gonna look great!" [The cat hops around the desk, trying to avoid getting the sweater put on it.] "Ah-ah-ah! Hold still!" [putting the sweater on the cat] "Okay, lemme get this straight. You're in love with Tina–" Lee: "How do you–" Biffy: "Yeah, I know everything. But you kissed Brandy, and now you're gonna let Tina get nailed by paint since she'll be interviewing the Student of the Week? Dude! Kinda harsh." [Lee looks away guiltily.] "But, on the plus side, Barrage gets totally splattered! But he's gonna blame you, and you'll have detention forever." Lee: "So no matter what, I have to stop this. But that means dealing with those hyperactive squirrel brains again." Biffy: "Just go tell 'em to drop it! They worship you! You'll be back in time for tea and crumpets, 'cause that's what smoochy-faces eat when they're not smooching!" [kissing the air] "Ahmm-mm-mm! Mm-mm-mm!" [normally] "Hoo! There! That wasn't too bad, right?" [Biffy holds up his cat, who is completely tangled in the sweater–which now looks more like a cat straightjacket.] Lee: "Wait. Barrage confiscated my pal Holger's phone. Can you track him through that?" Biffy: [nodding] "Text me his number and we got him." ''[He pulls out his laptop. Lee pulls off the vent cover in the detention room and climbs up while Biffy maintains radio contact.]'' "You're totally in the clear!" [explaining the setup to his cat] "You see, the green one is Lee, and the red one is the big scary man!"

[The big scary man is playing his game in the middle of a hallway intersection.] Principal General Barrage: "And here comes a nuke! I! Am! Victorious!" [looking around at his stunned students] "Who da man!"

''[Meanwhile, Lee rushes out one of the side exits of the school. He scans the parking lot for skaters.]'' Lee: "Maybe they're at the TV studio." [He spots his mom by her car.] "Mom!" ''[Lee dives into the bushes and waits until she walks past him on her way back into school. He then stands up and breaths a sigh of relief until his adrenaline spikes again when someone in a skintight red costume tackles him.]'' Lee: "Holger?" Holger: [placing a finger over Lee's lips] "Ssh." Lee: [slapping Holger's hand away] "What are you wearing?" Holger: [proudly] "Holger be Captain Strudellegs." [showing Lee his binoculars] "I spy on skater's eye for zha secrety of missions." [Lee looks through the proffered binoculars and sees them standing next to something covered in a blue tarp.] Lee: "Uh. What are they up to now?"

''[A bunch of posters with the slogan "Vote for Kimmie" are plastered one on top of the other. Another one gets slapped onto the stack and glue is applied to it.]'' Camillio: [annoyed] "Think we got that locker covered, yo." [Brandy robotically moves on to the next locker and starts the process of putting another poster up.] Camillio: "Now you're totally freaking me out. You okay?" Brandy: [not looking at him] "Okay? Me? I am better than okay." [subdued] "Why?" Camillio: "I donno, maybe 'cause you're gluing your hand to a locker?" Brandy: [realizing] "Uhf!"

[Ted is hiding in a tree.] Ted: "Caw! Caw! Caw!" ''[Ted points at Lee and Holger, and the skaters duck behind their tarp-covered secret. Lee and Holger arrive.]'' Unnamed Skater: [popping up] "Pingster and crew you made it!" Zed: [to Holger] "Totally epic prank outfit, dude." Ned: [touching Holger's clothes] "That shirt is so good." Unnamed Skater: "Sparkly." Holger: "Donkey shine." [Lee lifts a corner of the tarp and finds several cans of the same paint that was used in the prank.] Lee: "Where did you get all this?" [The skaters ignore him, choosing instead to poke at Holger, who giggles.] Lee: "Guys!" Ted: [dropping from the tree] "Hello? You left it here for us?" Zed: "Yeah, you sent us that new email!" Lee: [slapping his forehead] "What email?" ''[Zed shows Lee his phone. Open on it is a picture of a blueprint sent from an A. Nigma High account named "Radcircles".]'' Lee: "That's not my email account." Ted: [pointing] "Dude, your name's on the bottom." [At the bottom of the blueprints lies Lee's signature.] Zed: "Let's do this. Ted, Ned, and Holger. You hit the voting room, write Barrage a million times, and stuff the ballot box." [He gives each of them a pen.] Holger: [awed] "Holger love new fancy pen." [kissing it] "Never break." [to Zed] "Aye, aye, Holger do!" [The trio of miscreants leaves.] Lee: "Wait, Holg! Aw, man!" Zed: "No time, dude! While they do that, we gotta get the paint rollin'." [He runs off, gets his skateboard, and heads towards the school.] "You're coming?" [Lee stands there for a second, shocked, and then presses his hand to his earpiece.] Lee: "Who is doing this to me? I never sent that email." Biffy: "It's not just about you right now. You gotta stop those guys before your could-be girlfriend becomes your never-be girlfriend. Trust me. She won't look good in green." ''[Lee attempts to retort, but realizes that the bully is right and takes off after the skaters. A shadowy figure watches him run.]''

[Lee and two skaters are walking down the hall when Tina suddenly exits the newsroom while arguing heatedly with Chaz.] Tina: "Ugh, you need to back off! I'm doing the interview no matter who wins!" Chaz: "Ennh! Wrong again, Tina." [pulling out a sheaf of papers] "Signed contracts from every student in the school. Try to beat that in court." [The three pranksters peek out from inside a recycling bin.] Tina: "Court? This is school, not–" ''[She stops. A phone is ringing from inside a recycling bin. The trio of pranksters ducks inside and Zed turns off his phone. Tina sighs.]'' "You are ridiculous." [She walks away.] Chaz: "Oh really? Ridiculous, huh? We'll just see who looks ridiculous, after I sue you for contract infringement? Hey! Don't walk away from the Chaz when he's talking to you!" ''[As soon as the newscasters leave, the three pranksters pop out from the recycling bin, gasping for air. Zed hits a button on his phone.]'' Zed: "Go ahead, dude." Ted: "We're dumping the old ballots now!" [Holger dumps them into a backpack.] Holger: "Now we write za ballots. Oh, if Lee could spy me now! Sidekick supremo!"

''[Cam is standing in front of the school with the box of fliers. A nerd walks past with his nose buried in a book.]'' Camillio: "If you still haven't voted yet, make sure you vote Kimmie. She'd vote for you. If you were cool enough." ''[The nerd walks past. Cam hears a sigh, and heads in its direction. The sigh came from Brandy, who is pasting fliers to a tree.]'' Camillio: "Whaddup, chica?" Brandy: [on the verge of tears] "It was my first kiss and it didn't feel right at all. Or maybe it did! I don't know, I'm confused." Camillio: "You know maybe you just need more practice? I could take one for the team. If it will help you out." [He puckers up.] Brandy: "You? Ew. I don't think so. Back to work. This tree needs some fliers, asap." [She tosses the fliers at Cam, then throws the bucket of glue all over the tree, along the way splattering Cam.] "Ciao ciao!" [She walks away.] Camillio: [to himself] "Loco chiquita."

''[Lee's team is in the newsroom. The two skaters rappel up a pair of ropes to a platform above the set while Lee looks on.]'' Lee: [calling up to them] "Hey, could I see that email again?" Zed: "Sure, but you wrote it!" [He tosses his phone down and laughs.] Lee: "I need some specs off it, I, uh, wrote it really late last night." [scanning backwards through the pictures and whispering] "This is the day one prank as well! I'll forward these!" [calling up to Zed] "Hey! This is just the paint stuff! Where's everything else? The stink bombs, the lights, the water, the–" Zed: "The rest was all you, bro! Amnesia much?" Lee: [confused] "You only did...part of the prank?" ''[He hears the approaching footsteps of a certain cyborg and dives behind a box. Lee calls Biffy.]'' "Aren't you on Barrage duty?" Biffy: "Yeah, and he's far away." ''[The door bursts open. The noise, as it turns out, was being made by Ted, who put a paint can on his foot.]'' Zed: "Hey guys, up here!" Ned and Ted: "Cool, me first!" [They rush over to the ropes and begin rappelling up.] Lee: [to Holger] "Holg, this thing is getting outta hand, we need to–" Holger: [clapping excitedly] "Set prank up like fast bunny?" [He runs off to do just that.] Lee: "What? No! The opposite!" [He crosses his arms angrily and then calls Biffy.] "I gotta stop this. Text Holger's phone, Barrage still has it. Tell him to–come quick, something's going down in the newsroom." Biffy: "You wanna get caught?!?" Lee: "It's the only way to stop this. They need some motivation!" Biffy: "It's your funeral." [to his cat] "What're we gonna wear to Lee's funeral? I can knit you a tux! Huh?" ''[The cat meows. Soon, the phone Barrage confiscated gets a text reading "The newsroom prank is on." The general stops his gaming.]'' Principal General Barrage: "Newsroom?" [angry] "This is your fault! Distracting me while hoodlums run loose! Uhh!" ''[The angry cyborg crushes the phone in his metal hand. The red light on Biffy's laptop that pinpoints his location goes out.]'' Biffy: "Uh-oh." [to Lee] "Uh, Barrage is off the map. I don't know where he is!" [Lee's eyes widen as he hears the sound of a metal foot clanging down the hallway.] "But I'm pretty sure he got the message." Lee: "Guys! Forget the prank! I think I hear–Barrage!" ''[Lee and Holger scatter as Barrage enters the room. He does an infrared scan with his cyborg eye, which picks up on the body heat of Lee. He approaches his quarry.]'' Principal General Barrage: "Well. What do we have here?" ''[A small move by one of the skaters bumps a can of paint off of the hanging platform. It lands behind the principal, and he turns. Spotting the paint can on the ground, he begins to gaze up, allowing Lee an opportunity to sneak away. Suddenly, two newscasters enter the room.]'' Chaz: "Out of the way, Tina, this is Chaz time! I have to make the studio look good for my interview!" ''[Tina and Chaz spot the principal and stop. Holger and Lee peek out from behind two other boxes.]'' Holger: [whispering] "On three, run for your life. One. Two. Five. Three." [screaming] "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA–" ''[Holger takes off. He pushes Tina out of the way, evades the grasp of Barrage, and leaps for the platform. His fingers grasp it.]'' Holger: "–OYYYOOOOYYYOOOYYYOOOOYYYOOOYYYOOO–" [Holger's added weight causes the platform to tip, and paint cans fall off of it, splattering onto Chaz and Barrage.] Principal General Barrage: [blinded] "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" [The skateboarders drop down and run out of the room.] Zed: "Aw, yeah!" ''[Lee and Holger run out of the room as well. Tina watches them go with an appreciative smile.]'' Principal General Barrage: "OW! I can't see!" [thinking] "But I can hear you." [The principal exits the room, along the way bulldozing Chaz and pushing his head back into a paint can.] Chaz: "Aww!"

''[Outside of the room, Holger and Lee flash each other a thumbs-up and then split up. Barrage runs out of the room and begins chasing Lee, still blind.]'' Lee: [to Biffy] "What's the best way to get back?" [Biffy is playing with his cat.] "Biffy?" Biffy: [picking up] "Down the stairwell right beside ya." ''[Lee does as instructed. The principal tries to follow, but slips.]'' Principal General Barrage: [flying] "AHHH!" [He crashes into something.] "Uh!" ''[Lee makes it back into detention and takes a seat. Shortly thereafter, Barrage opens the door and peels paint off of his eye.]'' Principal General Barrage: "Did you hear hoodlums running amuck?" Lee: "Uh-uh." Biffy: "Nope." ''[The cat meows. Biffy puts a thumb over its mouth.]'' Principal General Barrage: [incensed] "Me what?!?" Biffy: "Uh, I think he said ow." [raising a fist] "Didn't you?" [He punches Lee.] Lee: "Ow!" Biffy: "And also sometimes we talk like we're cats. Meow." Principal General Barrage: [not particularly caring] "DEEEE-SMISSED!"

[That night, Lee is seated at his computer.] Lee: "Both prank emails came from the same address. Radcircles@anigmahigh. Who's that?" [A video chat opens on Lee's desktop.] Holger: "Me count zhe ballots ve stolen. The winner. Was Lee." [He blows a kazoo in celebration.] Camillio: [appearing in a separate window] "Dude. Brandy. Did you know that was like her first kiss?" Lee: "Guys, I'm in the middle of–" [Cam's words register.] "Brandy's first kiss? Really?" Zed: [appearing in a different window] "Du-hu-hu-hude! That was aws! We got Barrage good and we got away with it!" [laughing] "Wick-ked!" Mrs. Ping: [outside Lee's room] "Lights out." [She turns off his lights.] Lee: "Later guys." [He closes two of the chat windows.] "And Cam, keep your big mouth shut." ''[Lee turns off his computer and then flips on his phone. He is looking at a forwarded email from Zed's account.]'' Lee: "Okay, Radcircles@anigmahigh. Whoever you are, I know you tried to set me up for this. And when I find you, you're gonna tell me why or I'm gonna make you."