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Script


Lee: "On the first day of tenth grade, I got detention for a year for a prank I didn't commit. And now I have to break rules to try and prove I didn't break any rules." [Pictures of Lee doing just this flash on the screen.] "It's risky but does have its rewards. Like rocking out with the Dudes of Darkness? I have to admit, that was pretty cool." [Pictures of him doing this are shown.] "The thing is, I heard they made the song that played during the prank. They didn't actually make it, but they did have a live recording." [The camera pans to Lee's music player.] "And now, I have it. But the song puts people into a weird trance." [Pictures of entranced listeners are shown.] "I seem to be immune to it, but is it actually safe for me to listen to? I don't mind putting myself in harm's way to find out, but–aw, man, do I have to?"
Detentionaire

3:10:16 PM
[Lee is running through an unfamiliar region. The region has metallic walls, doors, and floors, and is being permeated with a constant beeping. Not only this, but Lee is being chased by two people in hazmat suits. He pauses to lean up against a wall, revealing that he's sweating. The cleaners round the corner, however, and Lee starts running again, sneezing as he does so. In his hand a file is clutched.]
Lee: "AAH!"
[The source of Lee's scream is revealed: he has fallen down some stairs. Lee has been knocked unconscious from the fall, and the file has spilled open, revealing that it contains information about Lee. The hazmats gingerly approach the boy.]
Earlier that day...8:15:17 AM
[All around A. Nigma High, students are wandering around sneezing, noses buried in tissues. It seems a cold epidemic has hit the school.]
Lee: [leaning against his locker with a music player] "Even if it does mess me up, I have to listen to it." [wiping his brow] "And it's not like it could make me feel any worse right now."
[Lee turns on the song. A few seconds in, he hears a voice.]
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
Lee: "What was that?" [He rewinds.]
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
Lee: "Someone saying 'switch the bag'?"
[The bell for classes rings, and Lee heads off to his first class of the day.]

[Chaz and Tina seem to have escaped the ravages of the disease, as they look fine while doing the morning news.]
Tina: "Good morning, A. Nigma High, I'm Tina Kwee."
Chaz: "And more importantly, I'm Chaz Monerainian. And in case you weren't horribly aware, a terrible flu is ripping through the school!" [putting on a flu mask] "But this is one student who won't be going down without a fight. How's my hair?"
[The students watching the news are unimpressed by Chaz's self-absorption.]
Holger: [looking at Lee] "Oh, Lee don't look so good." [Lee sneezes.]
Lee: "I think I got what everyone else has."
Holger: [holding out a smelly dish] "Have some of Mama's germ-go-bye-bye pie. Make you strong like ox." [sniffing the food] "Mmm. Handsome like ox, too."
[Lee gags and waves Holger away.]
Holger: [retaking his seat] "It's made from beluga gills and chicken legs with a tad of wild nikselnorf. You know, so you no get snotty in the face mouth."
[Holger picks some food up with his hands and stuffs it into his mouth. He then offers the rest to Lee, who struggles to keep from puking.]
Tina: "As with all common flus, it's best to drink plenty of water and get lots of rest."
Holger: "Holger eat extra so no get sick. Me no miss big special premiere of movie, Space Zombie Virus. 3. First hundred people getting cool space zombie masks."
Chaz: "Is it the Chilean Pigeon flu? The Parisian Fruie-Fru Flu? The dreaded–" [dramatically] "–space. Zombie. Flu?"
[Holger gasps in shock. Across the school, Cam has the same reaction.]
Tina: [trying to regain control of the broadcast] "Ahem. A. Nigma High, it's just a normal everyday flu. No need to panic."
Chaz: "No, panic now! Before the coughing, sneezing, itchy butt cramps, and crazy hallucinations turn your brain into space zombie goo!"
[Barrage walks onto the set.]
Principal General Barrage: [grabbing a microphone] "Okay you snot-dripping, cough-splattering bleeuagh! Whenever I get sick my robot parts get all loopdy-loo. Listen up! We might all be as sick as Sam Dog! But I'm not going home to Mama. And neither is anyone else!" [His robot arm starts spinning wildly, and he uses his human one to stop it.] "We ain't gonna let some eeny-meeny chicken linguini virus beat us! We! Stay! The course!" [threateningly] "We're A. Nigma High."
[Barrage's robot fist begins punching him in the face.]
Tina: "Principal Barrage."
Principal General Barrage: "Ow!" [He grabs his hand to stop it.]
Tina: "Shouldn't students who are sick go home?"
Principal General Barrage: "No one leaves!" [He pulls out a remote control.] "Not even the germs."
[The principal presses a button on the remote, and every exit to the school shuts, with metal slabs covering over the doors to complete the lockdown. The bell then rings, and sick students flood into the halls. A germaphobic Irwin cowers away from everyone's sneezes and coughs–until Evan sneezes directly onto him.]
Irwin: [running away] "Gah gah I'm infected!"
Camillio: [using his hood as a shield] "Coming through! Keep your greenies to yourself, ick-faces!" [He joins up with his friends.] "Whoa, close one! Everyone is like, mucho sick to the max! Whateves." [Lee sneezes.] "You guys ready for space zombies and all the brains you can eat or what?" [pretending to be a zombie] "Uuuhhh." [He advances on Holger.]
Holger: [pretending he has a ray gun] "Back off, zombie menace. Space Marine Holger stop you. Pcchew!"
Camillio: [hit] "Unnnh!"
Holger: "Your father ate my dog."
Camillio: "Mmmmmn."
Holger: "Pcchew!"
[Cam and Holger laugh. Lee coughs.]
Camillio: "Yo Ping! What gives? No 'pachoo' too?"
Holger: "Aww. Lee is kafloofashanked. Ja?"
[By way of response, Lee blows his nose.]
Camillio: "Oh no, Lee's sick too? But free space zombie masks, bro! And mucho pew pew! Ah well, sucks to be you, homes."
Lee: "Ah, everyone's sick. Maybe it's a side effect of the prank song."
Camillio: "Okay wait, first you think the song like, hypnotizes people, and now you think it makes you sick? You're paranoid, Floyd."
Tina: [over the intercom] "Would the following students report to Room 113b. Giuseppe Stern and Ed McFeeney."
[Lee is about to respond but has his attention grabbed by the Red Tazelwurm. Strangely, the Red Tazelwurm is wearing a monocle, a top hat, and a sweater with the A. Nigma school colors. Furthermore, the Red Tazelwurm is carrying a baton, is standing on its tail, and has somehow grown a mustache and beard. As Lee watches, the Red Tazelwurm does a dance, spins the cane around, and then takes off.]
Lee: [disconcerted] "Tell me you guys are seeing the Tazelwurm tap-dancing too."
Holger: [backing away] "Lee's brain is kaflipaflooped!" [He and Cam back away from Lee.]
Camillio: [as Lee slumps against a locker] "Dude! This is just like the movie! First the coughing–" [Lee coughs.] "–then the sneezing–" [Lee sneezes.] "–some itchy butt cramps–" [Lee scratches his butt.] "–and then hallucinating thingys and you turn into–" [He leaps into Holger's arms in fear.]
Camillio and Holger: "Space zombies!"
Camillio: "Chaz was right! This is the space zombie flu bro! For reals, yo!"
Tina: [walking up to them] "There is no space zombie flu. And Chaz is never right."
Camillio: "Oh yeah, muchacha? I read all eight books of the trilogy, uhhkay? And everybody knows if it was in a book it has to be true."
[Cam and Holger leave, and Tina walks up to Lee. Two janitors run by with a ladder, and Irwin takes note.]
Irwin: "What're they–" [He sneezes.] "–doing?"
[The cleaners are placing cameras inside of the school. A television set turns on.]
Principal General Barrage: [on TV] "Pffwah! Attention you walking mucus membranes!"
Lee: [standing up] "Ahc, I'm late for detention." [to Tina] "Gotta go." [Tina waves goodbye as he leaves.]
Principal General Barrage: "I might be too darn sick to patrol the halls, but that don't mean I'm not watching your every move!" [He lets out a hacking cough.] "Now rest assured, I can see every spasm on your pathetic little spleenses."
Vice Principal Victoria: [in the halls] "Goodness, Principal Barrage. Instead of spying on everyone, shouldn't we be letting these poor, sick kids go home and rest!"
Principal General Barrage: "Never! I will not tolerate insubordination, VICE Principal."
[The general cuts the camera feed, and the screen goes dark.]


[Lee is in detention, contemplating checking out the prank song. Behind him, Biffy has a sewing machine.]
Lee: "Uh..."
Biffy: "Double detention." [plucking a new needle from his mouth] "Which gives me plenty of time for sweater-making! Turns out Mr. Rumple was really Mrs. Rumple. Now her six new kittens are gonna need nametag sweaters so I can tell 'em apart."
Lee: [holding out his music player] "Do me a favor, listen to this. It might be dangerous, but if you wanna take a chance, just tell me if you hear something weird." [He presses play.]
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
Lee: "Sounds like 'switch the bag,' right?"
Biffy: [monotone] "I don't know. It's so hard to tell since I'm so hypnotized." [Lee's jaw drops open.] "Dude I'm just kidding."
Lee: [rewinding the recording] "Seriously, listen."
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
Lee: "I don't get it. How come we're both immune to this?" [He rewinds the recording again.]
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
[The sounds of the prank song are not confined to the detention room, however. They travel through the vents and down into the ears of the Red Tazelwurm, who is locked in a completely white room. The Red Tazelwurm has been chained down, and as it struggles to get free two people in hazmat suits enter the room. The Red Tazelwurm breaks its chains at this point, however, and swiftly knocks both of its opponents down before leaping into the vents with a hiss. Inside the detention room, Lee and Biffy are still paying attention to the song–until the vent cover opens and the Red Tazelwurm sticks its head out.]
Biffy: "Uh, dude? I don't think the Tazelwurm's a fan of your taste in music."
[The Red Tazelwurm exits the vents, lands on Lee's desk, and sticks its face up to Lee's.]
Lee: [scared] "Aah!"


[Lee furiously taps at his phone. Suddenly, the Red Tazelwurm grabs it and disappears into the vents.]
Lee: "Hey, my phone!"
[Suddenly, a wave of sickness crashes over him, and he leans back against the teacher's desk. When he looks back towards the vents, the Red Tazelwurm looks out, once again wearing the mustache, beard, monocle, sweater, and top hat. It clambers over the vent's missing cover and beckons Lee to follow with its tail.]
Lee: "Did you see that? The monocle? The mustache? He winked at me!"
Biffy: "I think the flu's eating your brain, man." [Lee tries to reach the vents and fails.] "Seriously, dude, you're too sick to be in secret spy-man mode today."
Lee: "Don't worry, I'm–" [He sneezes.] "Sneezetastic." [congested] "If my mom finds out I lost the phone I begged her to buy, it'll be–" [He sneezes again and blows his nose.]
Biffy: "Yeah okay, plus you need the song, I get it. Just stop sneezing on my kitty sweaters!"
[Lee pushes a chair up to the vent and gets ready to climb in.]
Biffy: "Hold up." [He pulls an earpiece out of a drawerful of confiscated phones and places it next to his phone.] "Synced! Go get 'em, snotty!" [He tosses Lee the earpiece.]


[Biffy is tracking both the Red Tazelwurm and Lee on his computer. Lee is in green, naturally, and the Red Tazelwurm is given the obvious color of red.]
Biffy: "Little guy's moving fast." [Suddenly, the Red Tazelwurm reverses course.] "Whoa, look out! He's comin' atcha."
[The Red Tazelwurm passes by Lee where the vent system forks, heading left. The lunch bell rings.]
Biffy: "Dude! Lunch is over! Better get to class before Barrage finds out."
Lee: [following the Red Tazelwurm] "I gotta get my phone back! I need that song, it's a major clue!"


[Cam and Holger's class is filled with sick people–including the teacher, who is too drained to teach.]
Camillio: [turning to Holger] "Seven hours 'til the movie, bro. We gotta somehow avoid all this mucho sickness or we're never gonna make it."
Holger: "Cam. Me is scared."
[Steve sneezes and topples over.]
Camillio: "Me is scared too, bro."
Chaz: [placing his hands on their shoulders] "We need to get out of here before we turn into–them!"
[Chaz is looking at Giuseppe, who is moaning like a zombie.]
Giuseppe: "Ohhh..." [He faceplants onto his desk.]
Holger: "Owhaho! Space zombie flu!"
Chaz: "Yeah, exactly, we're all doomed. Chaz is outta here!" [He runs for the door.]
Camillio: [worried] "Uh, he's right. If we don't get outta here too, we're gonna turn into space zombies before we even get to see Space Zombies."
Holger: "True, and that will ruin movie if Holger already know zhe ending."


[Lee is painstakingly moving through the ducts. He almost runs into a fan.]
Lee: "Aah!"
Biffy: [in class, whispering] "Dude. What's up?"
Lee: "Almost had my first shave. And my last. Where's the Tazelwurm now?"
Biffy: [checking on his laptop] "The next right." [The Red Tazelwurm keeps moving.] "Oh! And left."
[The Red Tazelwurm stops by a vent opening. When Lee catches up, it dives down the vent, and Lee grabs for the lizard. In doing so, he falls, and both Lee and the Red Tazelwurm end up falling down a tube that blocks both of their signals.]
Lee: [falling] "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Biffy: [whispering as he sees the dots disappear] "Lee? Yo, Lee? Tazelwurm got your tongue?" [loudly] "Lee!"
[The teacher, having heard this last statement, clears his throat and looks at Biffy pointedly.]
Biffy: [chagrined] "Uh, sorry."


[In the halls, Principal General Barrage barks orders from a TV set in order to keep traffic flowing.]
Principal General Barrage: "Slow down! Pick up the pace. You're late! You're early! Sides up! Shoulders back." [Suddenly, his cyborg eye senses pathogens on his monitor.] "Huuuih! Darn germs! Get off the monitor!"
[Barrage sprays the screen with disinfectant. When it clears, he prepares to take a sip of tea, but his illness causes his robot hand to shake, splattering him with the hot liquid.]
Principal General Barrage: "OOWWWWWWWWW!!!"
[His robot leg is the next to malfunction, shooting his monitors with a power surge that turns them off. After this his cyborg eye acts up, showing him a translucent villain.]
Principal General Barrage: [threateningly] "Colonel Von Virus." [angry] "I should have known you were behind this!"
Colonel Von Virus: "Guten tagen Herr Barrage. Ve meet again. And now, I release your disease-infested students on ze vurld!"
Principal General Barrage: "I don't think so, Colonel." [holding up the remote] "No one gets out without this!"
[The Colonel and the General begin to fight over the remote. The vice principal looks in through the window on Barrage's office door and sees the principal fighting with himself. Her eyes widen in shock.]


[When Lee recovers from his fall, he realizes that he's in an odd location full of polished metal tunnels and rough rocks.]
Lee: "Where am I?" [He taps his earpiece.] "Biffy?" [No response.] "Is this...real?"
[The monocled Red Tazelwurm drops down next to Lee.]
Red Tazelwurm: "Lookssssss...like you've taken a tumble. May I offer you a claw?"
Lee: [confused] "You...can talk?"
Red Tazelwurm: "Of coursssssse I can talk." [dancing] "I can dance, ta-da! I can–" [singing operatically] "–sinnnnnnggggg!" [close to Lee] "But I hate! that song you were playing." [conspiratorially] "Come along now, and I'll show you why."
[The Red Tazelwurm wriggles down the hallway. Lee's eyesight blurs.]
Lee: "Wait. It's the fever. I'm dreaming all of this." [uncertainly] "Right?"
[Lee begins following the Red Tazelwurm.]


[All that separates Holger, Cam, and Chaz from the front doors is the last stretch of the main hallway. Unfortunately, it is clogged with sick students. Cam and Chaz opt to take off running at full speed for the door.]
Chaz: "Aah! Go go go!"
[Chaz and Cam reach the doors. Holger starts running after them.]
Holger: "OOOOOYYYAYAYAOYOYHOLGER!" [He slides underneath a student and meets the other two at the door. Cam tries to pull the door open but finds it locked.]
Chaz: "Well I'm pretty sure locking the doors breaks most of the fire code rules."
Camillio: "What about the escape from zombie rules, bro?"
Brandy: [rushing over] "Unnh! Locked? But I have a note from my mom!"
[Brandy heaves at the door bodily.]
Chaz: "Oh come on let us out!" [Brandy heaves again.] "I am way too handsome to throw up all over myself." [Brandy heaves again.]
Camillio: "Stop!" [putting a hand on Brandy's shoulder] "We need another way out of this zombie infestation." [thinking] "What would Lance Pinto, the star of the zombie movies do?"
Brandy: "Duh. Get a new agent?"
Holger: [gasping] "Go to roof?"
Camillio: "Exactly!" [to Brandy] "Come with us!" [Chaz and Holger head for the roof.] "We won't let any flu zombies chew on your super hot chiquita brain."


[In the principal's office, Colonel Von Virus has won control of the remote.]
Colonel Von Virus: "So Herr Barrage, first I own zhew, and now I own ze remote, and soon, I will own, ze whole vurld!"
[The Colonel laughs wildly. Suddenly, Barrage reaches up and sprays him with disinfectant.]
Principal General Barrage: "Own this, you diseased pusbag!" [The colonel screams in pain. Barrage grabs the remote.] "Ha! A weakness at last." [into a walkie-talkie] "Hazmat squad, disinfect protocol E-T. Scrub the school down! Double time!"
[The hazmats get to work.]


[Lee is following the Red Tazelwurm around the tunnels. Suddenly, the Red Tazelwurm stops, puts a claw to its ear, and hisses. Two hazmats are approaching. To avoid them, Lee ducks between a pair of stone pillars and breathes a sigh of relief when they pass him by. He then peaks out to see who summoned them and gasps when he spots a group of scientists that includes his father.]
Lee: "Dad?"
[Alfred Ping lofts a brief glance in the direction of the noise, but Lee has already ducked out of sight again. However, Lee's respiratory system gives him away, as a sneeze is expelled from his lungs. Lee begins running again, and the cleaners chase him. Suddenly, Lee is tackled into a room sitting on the side of the corridor by the Red Tazelwurm, who hisses at Lee as the door slides shut behind them, leaving them in darkness.]


[Cam, Holger, Brandy, and Chaz are ascending the stairs. Suddenly, Cam stops.]
Camillio: "Ssh!"
[Cam pushes open a door and looks out. He spots a pair of janitors spraying down the hall. Shutting the door again, Cam turns to face the others and makes several hand signs.]
Brandy: "What's he mean?"
Holger: "Hmm. Popcorn is ready, but shoes are too tight."
Camillio: "No, bro, the exit!"
[In the hallway, the janitors work on a portrait of Alexander Nigma with feather dusters. The group walks down the hall, and all is going well until the bell rings to signal the end of a class period and students spill out into the halls.]
Brandy: [spotting the sick kids] "Eww! Grossness!"
Chaz: "Ahh! We're surrounded." [manic] "It's everyone for themselves!" [collapsing to the floor] "Aaaaaahhhahahahhh." [clutching his knees to his chest] "Okay, this is it." [He takes out his phone and begins filming himself.] "I have to say something meaningful, on the spot, wow, so unfair. Ahem." [shaky] "This, will probably be my last broadcast, okay? If you're listening, I probably had my gorgeous brain devoured like expensive dessert. Please just remember me, ponder my greatness, and my teeth."
Brandy: [annoyed] "Will you shut up already? I'm supposed to be the drama queen."
[Camillio notices that the cleaners have put down their blasters, and he tries to signal this to Holger.]
Holger: "Ja. I would like a ham sandwich. Thank you please!"
Camillio: "No, grab those soakers, bro!"
[Cam and Holger each grab a gun. They ready their weapons.]
Camillio: "Grab Chaz, let's go!"
[Holger runs down the side of the hall, blasting anyone who comes close. He grabs Chaz by the arm.]
Chaz: [scared] "Aaaahhh!"
[Holger hauls Chaz away. Brandy, meanwhile, is backing away from Trevor, who is about to sneeze on her. Suddenly, Trevor gets a faceful of disease-killing mist.]
Camillio: "I know. I'm pretty awesome, right?"
Brandy: "AAAAAHHH!"
[Cam looks behind him. Three Dudes of Darkness are advancing. Cam backs away from them in the direction of his escape team. When he reaches Brandy, however, she grabs the blaster and uses it on the rock band.]
Brandy: [now leading the way] "C'mon! To the roof!"
[Brandy and Holger lead the way with their blasters while Cam and Chaz bring up the rear. The Dudes of Darkness get up again, though, and give chase. The group has almost reached the door to the roof when Cyrus hocks a loogie at the group that splatters on Cam's cheek.]
Camillio: "AOOOHHOWW!"
[Cam scrubs at his cheek to try and get the spit off. The group exits through the door to the roof, while the rock band heads into the restroom. The sounds of violent retching are soon heard.]


Lee: "AAH! Please don't kill me!"
[The Red Tazelwurm laughs kindly.]
Red Tazelwurm: "I didn't bring you all the way down here to kill you."
[The Red Tazelwurm wanders over to a control panel. It presses a button on a panel, and some blinds over a window go up. On the other side of the window is a large television with speakers, four green lights on the top, and a massive apparatus behind the television. In front of the TV is a reclining chair.]
Lee: "What is this?"
Red Tazelwurm: "It's a brainwashing room." [angry] "The teenage mind is so...rubbery."
[The Red Tazelwurm pushes another button, and the brainwashing apparatus comes to life. Pictures of green apples, bottles of Green Apple Splat, and cans of Green Apple Splat flash on the screen. All of these images are accompanied by the song that played during the prank.]
Lee: "Whoa, the prank song? Everyone listened to it and now they're all sick! Of course, it all adds up, the song gave everyone the flu!" [He sneezes. Much of his spittle lands on the Red Tazelwurm, who wipes his face disgustedly.]
Red Tazelwurm: [annoyed] "No, the song puts people into a trance, yes." [angry] "I hate it." [normally] "I heard you playing it from all the way down here, but the flu? It's just the flu." [annoyed] "But it is highly contagious, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't sneeze on me again."
Lee: "Right. Why doesn't it affect me? Or Biffy?"
Red Tazelwurm: "You're both unbrainwashable. It'sss like how some people can curl their tongue and others can't." [The Tazelwurm sticks out its exceedingly long tongue, curling it to demonstrate.]


[Colonel Von Virus has been sprayed into a melted blob on the floor.]
Colonel Von Virus: "You might be able to beat me, but you'll never defeat my army!"
[A bunch of translucent viral soldiers form around the principal.]


[The group of four is standing on the roof and looking at a broken fire escape ladder.]
Brandy: [upset] "Uhhuhhuh. Now I'll never get to my hair appointment!"
Chaz: [filming himself] "Chance of survival? Not good. We're the only healthy ones left."
[Cam sneezes. The eyes of the rest of the group narrow.]
Camillio: [nervous] "Hey hey yo yo no it's cool man, no, I just have like allergies and stuff."
Brandy: "No you don't. You're like, sick! Holger, disinfect him, or we're next!"
[Holger looks at his friend nervously. He lets out a strangled sound.]
Chaz: "Oh just–"
Brandy and Chaz: "Do it!"
Camillio: "No! Please! I'm–" [He sneezes.] "–totally fine!"


[Lee and the Red Tazelwurm are still watching the brainwashing room.]
Lee: "So what is all this for?" [The Red Tazelwurm hands him a file.] "What's this?"
Red Tazelwurm: "It'sss something you've been looking for, my boy. The truththththththththth!"
[The Red Tazelwurm glides off. Lee takes a look inside the file.]
Lee: "This is all about me!" [seeing a picture of his young parents holding a baby in a foreign land] "Hey. I don't remember being there."
Red Tazelwurm: [leaping onto Lee's shoulders] "It'sss all a big game, my boy. And you, you have a very big role to play in it. Don't you see? They're trying to–"
[A beeping tone is heard, and the brainwashing device shuts down. The Red Tazelwurm gasps. Two cleaners enter the room, and the Red Tazelwurm protectively moves its body in front of Lee. It advances on the cleaners, giving Lee an opportunity to exit the room. Lee begins running down a metal hall, and the cleaners give chase. Lee sneezes, with the cold starting to wear on him more heavily, but pushes his sick body to keep going, to escape. He rounds a corner, but the cleaners are hot on his heals. When he manages to build up a lead and slip around another corner, he leans on a wall to rest, but the cleaners soon catch up to him and he's off and running again. He nervously glances back while running away, and while he's distracted he misses seeing some stairs and falls down them.]
Lee: [falling] "AAH!"
[Lee hits the floor and is knocked out instantly. The cleaners catch up and shuffle the loose papers that fell out of the file back into it.]


[On the roof, Cam is having a sneezing fit.]
Camillio: "No! Seriously! It's not what you think, man! It's Chaz's cheap cologne!"
Chaz: [irate] "What are you waiting for, Holger, soak him!"
Brandy: "C'mon, Holger, you want to go to the space-zombie–premiere–whatever thingy, right? Spray him!"
Holger: "Hmm." [poutily] "Holger want zombie mask."
Chaz: "C'mon, do it! Soak him and send him back inside with the other zombies! It's the only way to stay safe!"
Camillio: "Don't do it, H. They're gonna suck my brain out in there, homes. It's the only one I got."
Holger: "Cam, you are my BFF till old man times. Buut..." [He points the blaster at Cam.]
Camillio: [backing up] "Aw come on, homes."
[Holger's finger tightens on the trigger.]


[The principal is fighting off soldiers with his disinfectant spray.]
Principal General Barrage: [after downing two soldiers] "Is that the best you got?!? 'Cause I got more than that!"
[Barrage pulls out his remote. Suddenly, the bell to end school rings, and Colonel Von Virus, now revived and rejuvenated, laughs evilly. He presses a button on Barrage's remote, and the school doors swing open. Angry, Barrage growls and sprays the colonel.]
Colonel Von Virus: [melting] "I vill return! And ze vengeance will be all miiiuuugghhhh."
Principal General Barrage: "Class. De-smissed."
[The principal's eyes roll back in his head and he faints.]


[The group is still engaged in a standoff with Cam.]
Brandy: "Spray him!"
[Holger's finger tightens on the trigger. Suddenly, the group hears the sound of cheering. They go to the edge of the roof and see everyone leaving.]
Chaz: "The doors! I can go home, mama! I made it through the day without getting sick." [running for the door] "Sweet victory is Chaz's!" [falling down the stairs.] "Ooh! Guh! Ah-huh! Aah! Oh! Ow-ow! Ohhhh!" [He reaches the bottom.] "I'm okay, I'm Chaz Monerainian." [He sneezes.] "Oh, great!" [annoyed] "Sniffles! Fantastic."
Brandy: [leaving] "What. Ever."
Camillio: [looking at Holger] "Bro, you weren't really gonna, like–" [He sneezes.] "–betray me, were you?"
Holger: [backing away] "Me go now, before Cam makes me kafloofashanked."
Camillio: [sneezing] "Ka-floofashanked? Me? Never, dude! I uh–"
[Cam falls down on the roof of the building, unconscious.]


[Lee wakes up in the detention room.]
Lee: "Huuh? Whuh? How did I get here?" [alert] "The file!"
[Biffy opens the detention room door onto Niles Peg and walks into the room.]
Biffy: "Lost you back in the vents, where'd ya go?"
Lee: "I–don't, know, there was this room and the Green Apple Splat and the hypnotizing and the Tazelwurm could talk and my, my dad was there?"
Biffy: "Riight. Uh, what about your phone?"
Lee: "Uh–"
[Lee's phone drops out of the vent. When it hits the ground, the prank song begins playing.]
Recorded Voice: "Switch the bag."
Biffy: "You know, maybe you're right. Maybe it does say switch the bag."
Lee: "Yeah, but who switched the bag! That's what I wanna–" [He sneezes, and then begins coughing.]
Vice Principal Victoria: [walking in] "Goodness, Lee Ping, you go straight home right this instant! You're way too sick for detention today."
[Biffy smiles as he watches Lee leave.]
Biffy: [faking a sneeze] "Achoo!" [coughing] "Ahem. Cough! Ahem."
Vice Principal Victoria: [folding her arms] "Nice try, Biffy T."
[Biffy frowns.]


[Lee is in his room eating soup. Suddenly, a video chat opens on his computer.]
Holger: [wearing a mask] "I say 'boo!' to you." [He laughs. Camillio opens in a separate window.]
Camillio: "Ghosts say boo, Holger. Zombies go uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We've been over this like a hundred times, dude."
Holger: "No worries, friends." [He removes his mask.] "Lookie! Masks for everybodys!" [He holds up two other masks for Lee and Cam.] "How was detention time, Lee?"
Lee: "Too weird to explain. I think I just crashed and slept all day and then had this really weird dream."
[Someone knocks on Lee's door and then enters his room.]
Mr. Ping: "Hey, kiddo. I hear you got the flu!"
Lee: "Uh, dad? Were you at–school today?"
[Lee's father briefly looks worried but soon covers it up.]
Mr. Ping: [laughing] "At school? I was at work all day! Heh. Why?"
Lee: "Heh. No reason. Night, dad."
Mr. Ping: "Good night, son." [He leaves.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: Wow. So I really did dream the whole thing.


[At the school, the underground tunnels are still there, as is the Red Tazelwurm. It snarls and enters a tunnel.]
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