"I'm the guy that got a year of detention for the biggest prank in high school history. I didn't do it. But I kinda know who did." [Lee's special ringtone for a Radcircles message plays.]
"Some lunatic called Radcircles. There's been bad days, like nearly getting sanitized by the principal's personal cleaners–" [pictures of the sanitization are shown]
"–and good, like finding Radcircles' phone." [Pictures of Lee with the phone appear.]
"But that turned bad when I found out it's password protected. And then–the really bad day. Watching my secret crush get kissed by the son of the world's biggest action hero." [A picture of the kiss appears.]
"Ouch. How about a really good day sometime?" [A picture of Tina and the charging phone are shown.]
"Like getting Tina back, cracking this phone, and busting Radcircles once and for all!"
"At 4:15, detention gets out. But that's
not important right now. I have to get Radcircles' phone back before it's destroyed or I'll never find out who framed me!"[The phone is currently sitting in a recycling bin alongside a bunch of other phones. The bin is by an incinerator. The principal laughs evilly as he turns up the heat. Lee watches from a vent.]Principal General Barrage:
"Needs to be big. Real
Earlier that day...8:03 AM[Lee walks in the front door of A. Nigma High. His friends are waiting for him. Lee and Cam bump fists.]Camillio: [perturbed]
"What's with the half-hearted brofist, ese? Is this about Brad totally mwuh-mwuh-mwuhing Tina last Friday?" [Brad walks by with his arm around Tina.]
"Oh. It is. Sorry, homes." [An eyebot flies by inches over their heads. They duck.]
"Yo, what's with the free haircut?"[The eyebot comes back. It scans Lee, and when it spots an untied shoe, it fires a beam at the floor next to Lee's foot.]Lee:
"Whoa!" [He bends over and begins tying his shoe.]
"Okay, I'm tying it! Man, first Barrage's robot cleaners go crazy, now his eyebot is busting me for an untied shoe?"Camillio: [tapping Lee on the shoulder]
"Dude, not eyebot,
bro!"[It seems that over the weekend, the school has become infested with the floating eyes.]Holger: [shocked]
"Eyebot had babies?"[An eyebot pops a bubble that Brandy is blowing.]Brandy:
"Hey! That bubble was worth more than your life!"[The bell rings to signal the start of classes, and the eyebots begin prodding students to get to class.]Lee: [being prodded]
"Ow! Okay, I'm going!" [to himself]
"Man, what is up?"
[Chaz and Tina are doing the morning news.]
Chaz: "Morning A. Nigma. I'm Chaz Monerainian. And that's right, I rock!" [Tina sighs.]
Tina: "I'm Tina Kwee, and in case no one's noticed, we're being watched." [An eyebot floats past her in the studio.] "Everywhere. Could this have something to do with Barrage's cleaners turning out to be malfunctioning robots. Or is it all part of a lockdown for the school inspector's visit today."
[Chaz begins spraying hairspray at his head. An eyebot grabs the canister.]
Chaz: "Hey! So not cool."
[In class, an eyebot fries Steve's sandwich, and a different one fries a note Giuseppe was attempting to pass.]
Tina: "We're students, not prisoners! And we demand–" [A robotic arm drags her offscreen.] "Hey!"
[An eyebot approaches the camera and turns its screen to a broadcast of the principal.]
Principal General Barrage: "Listen up, you wallaby foghorns! These are perfectly normal security precautions for School Inspector Blompkins' visit. So, let's put on our best puppy-prancing smiles, and impress our dear Inspector Blompkins. Oh, and would the following students report to detention." [The students are everyone who was caught up in the malfunctioning cleaner fiasco.] "Now!"
Holger: [happy] "Holger has detention! Whoopee!"
[In detention, Biffy is hard at work on the phone.]
Lee: [whispering] "Any luck cracking the password?"
Biffy: [typing on his computer] "Pretty sure the first number's either a one, or a seven. And hey! Don't let people see you talking to me. Rep to protect here."
Lee: [scanning the room] "Unfriendly, odd, loner–don't worry, I think everyone gets that."
Camillio: [outraged] "El prez can't get detention, m'kay? It's a school rule fool! My followers will be mucho outraged."
[Lynch walks over to Lee and Biffy with a bag of peanuts.]
Lynch: "Hi, fellas! Tossed in the old slammer again, huh? Any plans for a Lee Ping high stakes style breakout?"
[Biffy, annoyed, grabs Lynch's peanuts and throws them over his shoulder.]
Brad: "So, Tean-bean, on a scale of one to eleven, how would you rate our first kiss?"
Tina: [embarrassed] "Brad, um, I, well I, I don't think we really need to rate it, do we?"
Brad: "No. But, if we did, was it movie star quality? Leading man material?"
Brad: "'Cause, if it was off, it wasn't my fault. The ambiance was horrible. The lighting? Amateur hour. And don't even get me started about that chlorine smell."
Kimmie: [outside] "How is getting lip balm from my locker a crime?" [She and Steve are escorted in by an eyebot.] "Uch. Still smells like loser in here."
Biffy: [falsetto] "Still smells like loser in here!"
Kimmie: "Pfft. That's original."
Biffy: "Oh, news flash? Saying 'that's original' isn't original."
[Kimmie rolls her eyes. The principal enters the room.]
Principal General Barrage: "Well, if it isn't my favorite people in the whole wide wiggly world!"
Holger: [happy] "Donkey shine!"
Tina: "We know what's going on. You wanna keep us hidden because you're afraid that we'll tell the inspector that your robot cleaners put the entire student body in jeopardy."
Principal General Barrage: "Everybody sit down and stay quiet! Boys?"
[An eyebot yanks Tina backwards, and two other eyebots gather for extra surveillance.]
[The principal is walking down the hall with the vice principal.]
Principal General Barrage: "Troublemakers? Locked up! School?" [He runs his finger down the front of a locker.] "Sanitized! Teachers?" [He looks into a classroom.] "Teaching!"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Impressive, but isn't locking up students during class a tad harsh?"
Principal General Barrage: "It's not like I could brainwash them into being good! Wait. Or can I?"
[Behind the principal, a skinny man in a yellow suit clears his throat.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Principal Barrage."
Principal General Barrage: [taken by surprise] "Superintendent Blompkins! You're early! It's an honor to m–"
Inspector Blompkins: "Spare me ze fripple-frapple, yes? Good. Shall we...get on with this?" [He runs a finger down a locker door and looks at it.] "Cleanliness, is above satisfactory. But you obviously have someone watching your back. Yes, Vice Principal Victoria?"
Brandy: [walking past on the phone] "Lip balm? Sure, I'll bring you some."
Inspector Blompkins: "Unacceptable! You allow students to use communication devices during school hours?"
Principal General Barrage: "Guh! Of course not!" [He takes Brandy's phone.] "Right missy?"
Brandy: [unimpressed] "I need that back to call my lawyer?"
[Barrage growls angrily. The superintendent steps between him and Brandy.]
Inspector Blompkins: [to Brandy] "I like ze strength of your character. Who is zis, please?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Brandy Silver. One of our model students, of which there are many."
Inspector Blompkins: "Very goot. Zen, she can show me around school. Yes?" [The principal gasps.] "Students give a more honest impression. Principals sometimes hide zere bad eggs in detention. Miss Silver. Take me zere first."
Principal General Barrage: [whispering to Brandy] "Take the slow route. Through the back hall, got it?"
Brandy: "An extra geography credit might make me take you more seriously."
Principal General Barrage: [groaning] "Ohhh! Fine!"
Brandy: [leading the inspector] "Right this way, and can I just say those clogs are fab where did you get them you have to tell me."
Principal General Barrage: [as soon as they leave] "Corn niblets! Plan's gone loopdy-loo! Lieutenant, follow them, while I commence Operation: Immediate Evac."
Vice Principal Victoria: "Yes, Principal Barrage. Try to stay calm. Take your stress out on this." [She holds out a bag of jerky. Barrage takes a piece.] "Blompkins obviously despises phones. So we might want to confiscate them for the day. At least until you pass inspection? Don't you agree, Mister Principal?"
Principal General Barrage: [dully] "A gree."
[The students in detention are sitting around bored.]
Brad's Inner Monologue: It just doesn't add up! It should've been leading man material! Unless...I'm not the star of this show. No way.
[Brad looks over at Lee. He then walks over to Lee.]
Brad: "Ping. You were there when I saved the world. When my leading lady and I had our big movie kiss, did you feel it? Were there fireworks? I'm not sure it was big enough for our kiss debut."
Lee: [annoyed] "It was fine, Brad, now couldja–"
Brad: [worried] "Fine? That's it? Okay, we're totally gonna have to reshoot that scene." [running off] "Tina! C-can I talk to you?!?"
[The door opens.]
Principal General Barrage: "Listen up! This is a code one-fifteen! We are moving locations, effective now!"
Tina: "You can't keep us silent. And you can't move us anywhere you want whenever you feel like it."
Principal General Barrage: "Can and will, and am!"
[The principal sticks his head out the door. He sees Blompkins and Brandy walking towards him, and signals to Brandy to distract the inspector.]
Brandy: "Oh! Have you seen this?" [She turns Blompkins to face the wall.]
Inspector Blompkins: "I've seen a few walls in my day."
Brandy: "We were gonna paint a mural here." [Barrage quietly leads the students out.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Ah, but you didn't."
Brandy: "No, but if we did it'd be the perfect spot, right?"
[Holger is the last one to leave. He gets zapped in the butt by an eyebot.]
[Brandy and Blompkins turn to look. By this time, the entire procession is gone.]
[The group has moved to outside of a trailer in the parking lot. Brad is on the phone.]
Brad: "Wow, Dad, I should've talked to you first! Okay, so, for the big kiss you have to...mm-hmm, mints, okay got it, lip balm, yep, debonair swagger–wait. A rainstorm?" [An eyebot takes his phone.] "Huh?"
Principal General Barrage: [using a megaphone] "Before entrance is permitted, all phones are to be relinquished!"
Kimmie: "So, if we don't wanna give up our phones, can we stay out here?"
[An eyebot steals Kimmie's phone. She rolls her eyes but enters the trailer anyway. A single-file line forms, and the group begins depositing their phones into a recycling bin held by Barrage.]
Lee: [to himself] "Oh no. Radcircles' phone!"
[Lee looks around and then stuffs the phone into his pants. He pulls out his phone and walks up to Barrage. He deposits the phone into the recycling bin. However, instead of allowing him in, the principal just stares at Lee. Lee begins to sweat, and suddenly Radcircles' phone begins beeping.]
Principal General Barrage: [grabbing Lee] "I should've known you'd try to break the rules. Hand it over."
[Three eyebots circle Lee and Barrage.]
Lee: "Oh, uh, that's my keychain." [He shakes the phone slowly down his pant leg and onto the ground.] "It has a hundred and one different sound effects." [He presses a button on the keychain, and a ringing phone is heard. Meanwhile, he surreptitiously slides the phone over to Holger.] "Fake phone ring, awooga horn–" [An alarm horn is heard.] "And of course, my personal favorite."
[The keychain lets out a loud fart. Holger sneakily bends down and slips the phone behind his back. Meanwhile, an unamused principal grabs the keychain and crushes it in his metal hand.]
[In the trailer, Holger begins dancing.]
Holger: "Hee hee!" [singing] "Untz untz untz untz, ya. Untz untz untz untz, yo." [He begins using the phone as a prop.] "Ooh ah ah ah, Holger oh!" [He kicks the phone and it goes flying.]
Lee: "Holg!" [The phone hits Kimmie in the forehead.]
Kimmie: "Ouch. Sup, losers. Looking for this?" [She holds up the phone.]
Lee: [reaching for it] "Yeah, thanks." [Kimmie holds him off.]
Kimmie: "What an ugly phone. I might consider returning it, after I call Brandy to tell her to bring my lip balm over here." [Lee sighs.] "What's your password? Dork, right?"
Kimmie: "How do you spell that?"
Biffy: [lunging for the phone] "Oh just gimme that!"
Kimmie: "Oh this just gets better! Barrage did say no phones, so...maybe I'll just hand it over to the local authorities."
Biffy: "Oh-ho-ho, this is how you're gonna play it huh?"
Kimmie: "Why not? I'm bored, and there's nothing left to do."
Biffy: "Okay, so what if someone gets you the lip balm that you've been crying about, huh?"
Lee: "Holg! Lip balm?" [Holger shrugs. Lee turns to Biffy and whispers.] "Then keep an eye on that phone. I'll see if I can scare some up." [Lynch runs up to him as soon as Biffy leaves.]
Lynch: "Hiya chief! Is it mission time yet?"
Lee: "Got any lip balm?"
Lynch: "No. Why?"
[Lee walks past Lynch. Meanwhile, Kimmie is being closely watched by Biffy.]
Kimmie: "Hmm. Looks like I have something you both want. Well, I also want something. A soothing pedicure."
Biffy: [taken aback] "What? No-there is no way that I am–"
Holger: [rolling up in a chair] "French finish, Persian tips, or Perigean pennyhovens?"
[Meanwhile, Lee has moved on to Cam.]
Lee: "You carry pocket lint, straws, bottle caps, but no lip balm?"
Camillio: "I don't carry pocket lint yo! It just builds up in there! And this bottle cap says 'try again', so it's like a tiny pep talk. Dude if you need lip balm, try asking Tina."
Lee: "But she's with–ugh. Fine. But come with me! I might just lose it on that guy."
[Lee walks up to Brad and Tina, who are gazing lovingly into each other's eyes.]
Lee: "Pretty crazy detention thing we got going on."
Tina: [angry] "Replace crazy with illegal, and yeah, I totally agree."
Brad: "She's right. And while you're at it, replace illegal with crazy."
Lee: [insincerely] "Right. Well, my lips are dry, and I need some lip balm. Uh Tina, I figured you'd have some?"
Tina: [insulted] "Why? Because I'm a girl? Not all females are obsessed with looks."
Brad: [teeming with bravado] "Yeah! Pssh. What kind of a shallow person carries lip balm with them?"
Camillio: "Hey, Tina Bobina, you seem upset." [He puts an arm around her.]
Brad: [whispering to Lee] "Hey psst I got the lip balm!"
Lee: "You–what? You do? Awesome!"
Brad: [whispering] "But in return, I need a breathmint. I need a take two on that Hollywood kiss!"
Lee: [annoyed] "How about you just give me the lip balm!"
Brad: [whispering] "No way! I know what's going on. You think you're the star of this ride, well let me tell you something pal! You ain't! You're on the Brad Von Chillstein Action Express! And Tina is my leading lady! Now get me that mint and maybe I'll give you the balm!" [normally] "Thanks man!"
[Holger is hard at work on Kimmie's feet.]
Biffy: "Okay, happy? Now gimme the phone."
[Kimmie snaps her fingers, and Holger gets between her and Biffy.]
Holger: "Do you have ze appointment?"
Biffy: [laughing] "Aw, what, is he your secretary too?"
Holger: "Ja, also astrologist, cupcake chef, snake charmer, and poison tester."
Kimmie: "Personally, I think he's trying to trick me out of this ugly phone too. Do Biffy next."
[Brandy is still showing the inspector around. They have come to a science farm.]
Brandy: [putting an ant farm back] "And that was the ant farm."
Inspector Blompkins: "Yes. I never did understand why they're called ant farms." [Brandy spots Barrage spying on them and gasps.] "The ants aren't farming anysing! They-they should be called ant tunnels!" [He laughs.] "Tuh-tunnels!"
[The inspector continues to laugh. Suddenly, the principal springs up from behind a table.]
Principal General Barrage: "Ah ha! Ant tunnels!"
Inspector Blompkins: [shocked] "Barrage! Are you spying on us?"
Principal General Barrage: [surprised] "Spying? Me? No. No! That's what the eyebots are for." [An eyebot floats up to the group.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Zo, the eyebots are spying on us."
Principal General Barrage: [shoving the eyebot underneath a table] "Ant tunnels. Eh. Heh."
Inspector Blompkins: [to Brandy] "Zere's a portable on zhe grounds, zyes? I would like to see zat next."
[The principal lets out a gasp of fear.]
[Lee is consulting with Cam inside the portable.]
Lee: "If I was a mint, whose mouth would I be in?"
Camillio: "'Xactly yo, you gotta think like a breath mint to like catch a breath mint."
Lynch: [walking up to them] "What's with all the sneaking around? Up to Lee Ping spy stuff?"
Camillio: "Totally bro what of it?"
Lynch: "I knew it!"
Lee: "We need a breath mint. You got one?"
Lynch: "Breath mint? Why would I need that, when Green Apple Splat also has delicious smelling afterbreath." [He cracks open a can and drinks deeply of its contents.] "Ah."
Camillio: [sniffing the air] "Mmmmm. Appleyyyyeugh! What'd you have for breakfast, dude?!?"
Lynch: "Tuna and pickle omelette, of course."
Principal General Barrage: [entering the trailer] "Eyes and stalks this way, people! Our location has been com-pre-mised! We're moving out."
Lee: "Aw, man! Not again!"
[The eyebots push the students out of the trailer. When Brandy and Blompkins arrive, the group is hidden behind some parked cars. As soon as the inspector goes in, Barrage signals for them to move out, and Holger is again shot in the butt by an eyebot for moving too slowly.]
[The principal puts the group in the gym.]
Principal General Barrage: "Remain here, until further notice!"
[The principal slams the doors shut behind him as he leaves. Lee spots Steve eating breath mints.]
Lee: [walking over] "Steve! My favorite–" [Steve sinks a basket with a shoe.] "Basketshoe player. Can I score a breath mint?"
Steve: "Sorry dude, only one left, and I got a big date after school!" [He drops the shoe on the floor and frowns when it doesn't bounce.]
Lee: "How about a trade? Your last breath mint for a basketball?"
[Steve takes another shot and an eyebot fries the shoe in midair. The Tech Nerd, who was the former possessor of the shoe, sighs.]
[Cam fiddles with the lock on the ball cage.]
Camillio: "Okay, plan B. We got a plan B right?"
Lee: "I could pick it. If I had a pin."
Lynch: [impressed] "Lockpicking? Wow! Mister Ping, is there anything you can't do?"
[Lynch turns away and takes a sip of his soda. Lee notices a hairpin in Lynch's hair.]
Lee: [taking the pin] "I'm not even gonna ask, but thanks."
[Lee turns around and doesn't notice Lynch's hair tilt slightly. Lynch moves it back into place.]
Lynch: "Hey. How'd that get there?"
Camillio: [as Lee picks the lock] "Floating eye homes!"
[Cam and Lynch cover up Lee's movements with their bodies. The eyebot floats past.]
Lee: [finishing up] "Got it!"
[The inspector is taking a bathroom break. Brandy waits for him outside.]
Inspector Blompkins: [exiting] "Ratio of toilet water to flush: satisfactory. Now, I'd like to inspect the gym, to make sure everything's fixed since–" [He clears his throat.] "The prank. Do you know ze student that committed such a thing?"
Brandy: "Lee Ping? Nope. Never heard of him."
Principal General Barrage: [running up] "The gym?!? Oh, that! It's Jim Dandy doodle-andy! Ooh, but one small problem. It's being fumigated! For...b-b-butterflies!"
Brandy and Inspector Blompkins: [shocked] "Butterflies?"
Principal General Barrage: "Sure! They may look pretty, but they're deadly creatures. Always flying around, perching on people's shoulders, chewing holes in sweaters! It's nothing but trouble!"
Inspector Blompkins: [clearing his throat] "Zose are moths."
Principal General Barrage: "That's what they want you to think."
Inspector Blompkins: "Ridiculous! Now show me ze gym! Immediately!"
[The inspector begins walking towards the gymnasium. Brandy follows him.]
[In the gym, Holger pours tea for Kimmie and Biffy.]
Biffy: [annoyed] "Okay. You've had your fun. Now hand over the flippin' phone already!"
Kimmie: "Just a sec." [She tucks the phone into her pocket.] "Holger, I'm bored. Entertain me."
Holger: [tossing the tea set away] "Now is time for Holger to reenact exciting tale of za mighty flesher spheres battle. With ze glafookin!" [dancing and singing] "Ooh, ah! Gah de da da deet dee do bah, boo flookin!"
Lee: [running up] "Got your lip balm!" [noticing Holger] "Oh, hey, the flesher spheres story? I love this part."
[Holger kicks himself in the face.]
Kimmie: "Ew! Like I'm actually gonna use somebody else's lip balm. Gross much?"
Biffy: [fed up] "Oh–come on! Hand it over!"
Kimmie: [unfazed] "Oh, extra sensitive today. Fine, you can have your ugly phone back. But Holger has to entertain me until this is over." [She pats her pocket.] "Huh? It's not here."
Lee: "Ha ha, nice one. Hand it over."
Kimmie: "No, seriously, it was in this pocket. Someone here stole it."
[Everyone turns to Kimmie upon hearing about a theft.]
Lee: [shocked] "What?"
Principal General Barrage: "No! Wait!" [Blompkins opens the gym doors.] "The butterflies!"
Inspector Blompkins: [outraged] "What are all these students doing?"
Tina: "Superintendent Blompkins. Thank goodness you found us! The principal was–"
[A phone starts beeping.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Is zat what I sink it is? A communication device?"
Principal General Barrage: "Phone? No! That's a–butterfly mating call! I must've missed one."
[Nadine, Stepak, Lynch, and Stinky realize that the beeping is coming from their vicinity. They shuffle away, revealing that Ed is hiding something behind his back. Ed quickly tosses the stolen phone away and it flies through the air. An eyebot shoots at it, misses, and hits the emergency sprinklers. Water begins shooting out, drenching everyone in the gym, as Barrage catches the phone and swiftly stashes it away.]
Brad: [happy] "A rainstorm! This is it!"
[Brad takes his breathmint and with a look of purpose on his face heads for Tina, who bumps into him while running around the gym in an aimless panic.]
Tina: [surprised] "Brad!"
Brad: "Big epic kiss, take two, and roll!"
[Brad pulls Tina into a kiss. Lee gasps. The inspector writes something down on his clipboard.]
Inspector Blompkins: [displeased] "Students kissing, phones in school–" [to the principal] "Consider yourself on notice." [He hands Barrage a red piece of paper.] "This is your one warning! I shall return, in exactly four days. And if I find, even one infraction, you are kaput! Fired!"
[The inspector angrily walks away as the general cowers in his wake.]
Brandy: "Wait! You never told me where you got your clogs!"
[The general stares at the red slip. Suddenly, he growls, and a look of anger crosses his face.]
Principal General Barrage: "Disobeying a direct order! You can't control your urges to yap? Well then, maybe I can't control my urge, TO DE-STROY THINGS!" [He tosses Radcircles' phone into the recycling bin.] "Next stop, the furnace room."
[The students gasp.]
Camillio: "Since dude's like gone, can we like go?"
Principal General Barrage: "No! Eyebots!" [Three eyebots come up to him.] "No one leaves! And watch Ping." [The eyebots surround Lee.] "I'm sure he had something to do with this!"
[The doors slam shut behind the principal. Angry students surround Ed.]
Ed: "Ah! Eh, eh, eh g-guys! I'm sorry! Really!"
Lee: "That was you that had my phone! Why'd you steal it?"
Ed: "I–may have a small stealing problem. But I'm working on it!"
[Lee leaves Ed to the other students and heads over to Biffy.]
Lee: "Don't you find it odd that both times Rad's phone rang was when it shouldn't have? Whoever it is, they're in here right now."
Biffy: "Good point. But right now, you gotta get that phone back."
[Lee looks at an air vent and comes up with a plan.]
Lee: [to the other students] "Okay, guys, first off, leave Ed alone. I know stealing sucks and all, but if we wanna get our phones back, I'm gonna need everyone's help."
Kimmie: [after a pause] "Go on."
[A short while later, everyone is in position. Lee nods at Camillio, who nods at Biffy, who nods at Kimmie, who nods at Holger.]
Holger: "Okay flabby vurms! Let us do the jumping jacks and make your muscles go to healthy fun-fun town!"
[Holger begins doing jumping jacks. Everyone but Lee copies him; instead of doing jumping jacks, Lee is sitting in the bleachers. The eyebots are distracted by the exercise, and get closer to observe. While the eyebots are engaged elsewhere, Lee sneaks into the vents.]
Lynch: "Never a dull moment with Lee Ping."
[Lee realizes that Lynch is behind him.]
Brad: [behind Lynch] "If you think he's action-packed, you should see me in motion."
Lee: "Why are you following me?"
Lynch: "I'm your sidekick! Sidekick ahoy!"
Brad: "And I'm the hero." [to Lynch] "So technically you're my sidekick? And you should be following me. Lee, lemme get up front."
Lee: [annoyed] "There's no time, just c'mon."
[Meanwhile, the general cranks up the heat on the school's incinerator.]
Principal General Barrage: [laughing evilly] "Needs to be big. Real big!"
Lynch: "What's the plan now, chief?"
Brad: [coolly] "I don't know."
Lee: [normally, at the same time] "I don't know."
Brad: "I say we McSlam him. Hard!"
Lee: "Are you crazy, he's half robot!" [formulating a plan] "Brad, you go down. Sneak around to those supplies. Knock 'em over then rush out the door. Got it?"
Brad: "No way am I the decoy. Decoy doesn't get first billing! And plus, I want to be the one to hand back all the phones."
Lee: [annoyed] "Fine, I'll create the distraction. You guys get those phones."
Lynch: "Leave it to us, Gus!" [Lee exits the vents.]
Principal General Barrage: "Now that's a fire." [Lee drops to the floor.] "I wish I brought marshmallows!" [Lee knocks a toolbox onto the floor and hides around the corner.] "Halt! Who goes there?"
[The principal scans the room and spots Lynch and Brad as they awkwardly fall out of the air vent.]
Brad: [screaming girlishly] "AAH!"
Lynch: [landing] "Ow!"
[The principal approaches the two boys as they lie on the ground.]
Principal General Barrage: "You kids really love your phones, don'tcha? Well then. You're really gonna hate this!" [Lee sneaks over to the bin and takes Radcircles' phone from the top.] "You have the honor, of tossing 'em all!" [raspily] "In the fire."
[Brad and Lynch walk over to the bin and begin tossing phones in under the principal's watchful eye.]
[Lee is walking through the hall, fiddling with his recaptured phone.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Lee Ping." [Lee guiltily hides the phone behind his back.] "What are you doing out of Barrage's lockdown?"
Lee: "Uh, bathroom break?" [He grins nervously.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "It's terrible what Barrage is doing with everyone's phones. Parents are going to be furious. Hopefully I can make up for that." [She holds out a gift-wrapped package.] "One of our school sponsors has donated these." [She lifts the lid, revealing that it's a box full of new cell phones.] "I don't think they're even available to the general public yet. Can you take these to your friends and give them each one? And express the school's sincerest apology."
Lee: [taking the box] "Uh, totally. Cool! Thanks."
[That night, Lee has a video chat with Biffy.]Biffy:
"Nice moves little buddy. We're still back where we started cracking Rad's phone."Lee:
"I know, but–" [The phone beeps.]
"Whoa whoa, incoming message. From Rad!" [He answers.]Radcircles:
"Knock knock. Hello?"Lee:
"Yeah yeah, who's there?"Radcircles:
"That's it. Just seven. As in the first number of the password. Since watching you try to figure it out is like–" [faking a yawn]
"–eeeyyyaaawwwwww, watching paint dry."[Radcircles hangs up. Lee sighs and puts down the phone.]Lee: [to Biffy]
"Later buddy. And, thanks for trying to crack it." [He signs off and picks up his picture of Tina.]
"So Brad, the hero gets the girl? Well we'll just have to see about that. 'Cause this movie ain't over yet."