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Script


Lee: "I figured out who set me up for a year of detention. Finding out how that connects to a bunch of other conspiracy stuff has become like a full time job. And I'm definitely putting in overtime. Cam and Holger have been distracted 'cause Brad's been making time with their girls. I managed to convince him to back off, but now Biffy isn't talking to me 'cause, well, I sorta got us busted sneaking around Kimmie's house. But her mom, Cassandra? She's up to no good. Serious evil villain vibes." [Pictures of Cassandra threatening Lee and her underground meeting are shown.] "Lucky for me, I've got allies." [Pictures of Tina and the Red Tazelwurm appear.] "Like Tina, and the Taz." [Pictures of Stinky, Zed, and Cyrus appear.] "And I need every ally I can get, with Cassandra and Barrage suddenly building a fence around the school." [A picture of the half-built fence is shown.] "Are they trying to keep someone in? Or out?"
Detentionaire

[Several blue tazelwurms are standing at the base of the pyramid underneath the school. The Council is there as well; the fat male member of the council is repeatedly pressing a button on a remote.]
Cassandra: [furious] "Why aren't they obeying?"
Male Council Member: [worried] "Something's overriding their implants! Could it be the pyramid?"
[A young man in a red jacket steps forward and whips out a retractable blade.]
Red Jacket: "Heads I win, tails..."
[The man flips a coin and leaps into battle. Singlehandedly, he manages to dispatch all of the tazelwurms before grabbing the coin before it can hit the ground.]
Red Jacket: "You lose!"
[The other three council members walk over to the pyramid. The fat man dusts off two keyholes that were obviously made for Lee's key. He then takes a briefcase from the black-haired female and opens it, revealing two keys: one identical to Lee's, and one that appears to be a forgery.]
Male Council Member: "First, the original." [He plugs the key into the right-hand hole.] "Next, the replica."
[The man plugs the replica into the left-hand lock. Blue numbers start appearing on an attached readout, and the pyramid begins glowing blue, as do many machines in the room.]
Male Council Member: "It's working!"
[The readout on the replica begins going haywire as the pyramid increases its power output.]
Cassandra: [angry] "What did you do?"
[The pyramid begins interpolating red into its glow, and soon begins shifting between them. The blue tazelwurms get up and go on the offensive. They are joined by a bunch of other blue tazelwurms that pour into the pyramid room from other tunnels. The young man provides shelter by blocking the tazelwurms attacks until the group gets back into their tunnel and three large green reaper robots block off the tunnel to the blue tazelwurms.]
Cassandra: [furious] "Very. Disappointed."
Male Council Member: [scared] "I told you, the replica might not work! We need the real second key!"
Cassandra: [angry] "But we don't know where it is."
Female Council Member: "He doesn't, but I might. I've been going over Vice Principal Victoria's files, and I've decrypted some. According to her, the Red Tazelwurm took the key."
Cassandra: [annoyed] "Great, more wurms to deal with." [angry] "Contact Barrage and have him get me that second key!"


[Biffy is walking down the street with his cat perched on his shoulder. The cat meows.]
Biffy: "Uch, just 'cause you like Lee doesn't mean I'm gonna give him another chance. He made Kimmie hate me." [He comes across a raccoon trapped inside the fence.] "You want out? Can't blame ya." [He lifts the raccoon onto the fence, and it leaps out.] "There y'are!" [The Red Tazelwurm runs by his feet.] "Yo! Taz! Sup!" [Two cleaners are chasing the Red Tazelwurm. Biffy sticks out his leg and trips one.] "Oh! Sorry! My bad!" [He chuckles as the cleaner gets up and resumes the chase.]


[Holger is doodling broken hearts in his notebook around pictures of Greta. Lee walks in as he groans.]
Lee: "So Holg, I made a deal with Brad. He's promised to leave Greta alone, okay? He was just trying to mess with me."
Holger: "Oh-ho, goodie! Here come the heartbulance." [He puts a bandage over one of the broken hearts.] "Wee-hoo hee-hoo hee-hoo!" [He hugs his notebook as the news comes on.]
Chaz: "Hi, I'm the Chaz, and today's super hot big story, the one everyone's talking about, is, do I use bronzer, or is this tan au natural?"
Tina: [sarcastic] "Yeah, that's what they wanna know. They aren't all talking about the giant fence that's suddenly appeared! Well I'm Tina Kwee, and I'm outside Barrage's office for some answers!"
[Tina opens the door and finds Barrage ranting at a pair of cleaners.]
Principal General Barrage: "What do you mean you lost him? If you don't get me that taz, I'll have you both turned into toasters!" [to the school news] "Now, what in the name of intruding into my sweet inner sanctum, is this all about?"
Tina: "Principal Barrage, we the students demand an explanation for this fence! Are you trying to turn the school into a prison?"
Principal General Barrage: "Why the fence is to protect you students from the wolverines."
Tina: "Wolverines? There are no wolverines for miles!"
Principal General Barrage: "See? The fence is working already." [escorting Tina out] "This interview is over! Oh, there is one more thing." [They stop by his door.] "Any student, or students, who bring me the school mascot, get an automatic B!"
Tina: "What?"
Principal General Barrage: "Okay fine, an A-minus. But that's my final offer!" [He grabs Stepak and shoves the cameraman out of his office.] "De. Smissed!" [He shuts his office door.]
Tina: [reporting] "First Barrage is trying to protect us from wild animals. Next he's giving away A-minuses to capture one? Tina Kwee, signing off, more confused than ever."
[The end of the report creates a large amount of chatter in Lee's homeroom from students excited for a possible guaranteed A-minus in every class. Holger gasps.]
Holger: "Is Lee not teensy worried maybe for scaly friend Monsieur Tazelwurm?"
Lee: "Hey I would be if he couldn't handle it. Dude's probably way deep in the secret tunnels by now."
Ted: "Get 'im!"
Zed: "Wooo!"
Unnamed Skater: "Yeah!"
[On the grass outside, the skaters chase the Red Tazelwurm. They are followed by a group of jocks and hip-hop fans.]
Lee: "Or not." [He hefts his backpack onto his shoulder and raises his hand.] "Uh, Mister Langhorne?"


[Soon, the Red Tazelwurm chooses to hide under Mrs. Ping's car. The skaters surround the SUV.]
Ted: "Lizard dude! We gotcha."
Lee: [exiting the school] "Whoa, what're you guys doing?!?"
Zed: "Just hunting down a defenseless animal dude, to get that sweet A-minus. Why?"
[A red tail whips out from beneath the vehicle and knocks Zed's legs out from under him. The skater hits the ground hard, and the Red Tazelwurm climbs on top of the SUV and hisses angrily.]
Zed: "Who-hoa. Dude is hardcore!"
Lee: [patting the Red Tazelwurm] "Yeah. And he's with me."
Zed: "Sorry dude. We didn't know you and the taz dude were tight. Guess we owe the little guy, huh?"
Lee: [seeing hunters approach] "How'd you like to pay him back now!"
Zed: "You got it dudes." [Lee and the Red Tazelwurm takes off.] "Boys. We ride!" [They take off, heading straight for the jocks and hip-hop fans.] "Radical!"
[The two groups collide in a vicious pile-up. Lee and the Red Tazelwurm run in the opposite direction.]
Lee: "Have you out of here in just a sec, buddy. Just need another way out before–"
[The duo skid two a stop. Four cleaners are directly in front of them.]
Lee: [turning around] "Go!"
[Lee and the Red Tazelwurm run away from the cleaners as the robots fire their crystal guns at the fleeing figures. A shot hits the Red Tazelwurm, and it skids to a stop, unable to move.]
Lee: "Oh no!" [He comes back and grabs the Red Tazelwurm. Four hazmats surround them.]
Zed: "Wicked!"
[Lee ducks as the skaters leap over him and take down the robots. Lee grabs the Red Tazelwurm.]
Lee: "C'mon!"
[Lee carries the Red Tazelwurm into the school.]
Lee: "I think we lost 'em. Wait!" [The cleaners have gotten up and are coming after them.] "No."
[A burly pair of hands reaches out and yanks Lee into a classroom.]
Biffy: [as the cleaners pass] "Ssh!"
Lee: "Thanks. Does this mean we're cool?"
[The Red Tazelwurm licks Biffy's face.]
Biffy: "Hey! I'm helping Taz. Not you. I have a weakness for helping animals. When crazed students and psycho cleaners are hunting them down. Got it?" [He opens the door and leads them out.]
Lee: "Well at least we're talking."
Biffy: "Well don't get used to it, 'cause we're done talking starting...now." [He claps his hands sternly.]
Lee: [pleadingly] "Biffy. I'm sorry about blowing your chances with Kimmie, I just–" [Biffy exasperatedly growls.]
Biffy: "Time out on the no talking. I don't care! And since the bad guys went thataway, maybe you, should go this way!"
Lee: "But–Biff."
Biffy: [clapping] "Starting now!"
[Biffy storms off after the cleaners. Lee heads in the other direction.]
Lee: [straining] "Seriously dude, you are really heavy. What do you eat?"
[Lee hears approaching voices and hides between some lockers.]
Stinky: "There he is!"
Chopper: "Yeah!"
Chaz: "Aah! No! Capture the Taz, not the Chaz! AAAH!"
[The 15th Graders have–unintentionally or otherwise–mistaken the announcement as the principal desiring the capture of Chaz, and have taken to chasing him.]
Lee: "Okay, coast is clear."
[Lee lugs the Red Tazelwurm out of their hiding place. He then hears the principal coming down an adjacent hall and sees Barrage's shadow approach. Lee gasps.]


[Lee spots an open locker and runs over to it.]
Lee: [whispering] "Sorry about this. But stay put! I'll get you out when it's safe."
[Lee stuffs the Red Tazelwurm into the locker.]
Principal General Barrage: "Ping!" [He storms up.] "What in the name of papaya eating or-ang-o-tangs, are you doing out of class?"
Lee: [holding up his bathroom pass] "Gonna go with bathroom on this one."
Principal General Barrage: [laughing] "Well, if that's the bathroom, your books are gonna be mighty wet!"


[Mr. Langhorne is demonstrating a chemistry experiment when Barrage bursts into his classroom.]
Principal General Barrage: "Lieutenant Langhorne!" [He shoves Lee into the room.] "Watch this one like a corn-fed prairie hawk."
[The principal salutes, and the teacher returns the gesture. Lee slides into his seat next to Holger.]
Lee: "Holger. You down for some super spy actiony hero Operation: Save the Taz school breakout stuff?"
Holger: "Most yesfinitely." [to Mr. Langhorne] "Sir! Holger be demanding the bathroom pass. Must go so bad!" [hissing] "It is Number Three."


[Holger sneaks over to the locker and opens it. When he does, the Red Tazelwurm attempts to bite at him, and he swiftly shuts the locker door again.]
Holger: "Mister Monster! No need to be no polite. Lee of Pings is telling Holger from school to be making the rescuetimes. Okay?"
[Holger opens the locker door, and the Red Tazelwurm sticks its head out in a much more calm fashion.]
Camillio: [quietly] "Yo!" [He runs up with a nightshirt and some other apparel.] "Got the text. Brought a disguise!"
Holger: "Perfect!" [He puts on the hat and wig.] "Holger be flowery Dutch girl. Who no one knows is Holger."
Camillio: [exasperated] "Not for you, for Taz!" [He snatches the disguise away from Holger and attempts to put in on the Red Tazelwurm, who resists.]
Holger: "But if Taz is flowery Dutch girl, then who Holger is to be?"
Camillio: "Well b–g–uk–you're still Holger!"
Holger: [hopefully] "From school?"
Camillio: [frustrated] "Yes! From school! Okay? Now just–help me get this thing dressed up!" [He and Holger disguise the Red Tazelwurm and step back to examine their work.] "Okay seriously, nobody's gonna believe that that's a girl, let alone a human."
Holger: "Maybe not now, but maybe..." [He applies lipstick to the Red Tazelwurm.] "Now!"
[The Red Tazelwurm angrily snaps at Holger's hand.]
Camillio: "Dude, let's just go."
[Cam leads the Red Tazelwurm down the hall. Holger follows.]
Brandy: "Cam-Cam!" [The trio stop as Brandy approaches.] "Hi!" [examining the unfamiliar member] "Uh, who's this? Is that a ta–"
Holger: [quickly] "My cousin!"
Camillio: [at the same time] "Uh, my new girlfriend!" [They grin nervously.]
Brandy: [not buying it] "Right, new girlfriend."
Camillio: "Yeah, who uh, just happens to also be Holger's cousin." [Holger nods. Cam walks over to Brandy, and the Red Tazelwurm falls over.] "You know I figure since you and Brad are hooking up, it's time for this pelican to fly solo yo."
Brandy: "Wow, your new lady is so lizard-chic."
Camillio: "Oh yeah. She's totally down with the trendiest Eurofashions man."
[The Red Tazelwurm snarls.]
Brandy: "Hey, I think your 'new girlfriend' just said that she wants a kiss."
Camillio: [blustering] "Y-y-yeah, we totally love each other."
Brandy: "Then give her a kiss."
Camillio: "Maybe I will." [He looks at the Red Tazelwurm.] "Ay!"
Brandy: "Anytime now is good."
[Cam leans in to kiss the Red Tazelwurm. It bites at him when he gets too close, and he leaps back, screaming. Brandy laughs.]
Brandy: "Give it up, I know that's the Taz."
Holger: "Is that the Taz, or am I the Taz?" [He puts the wig and hat on his head.] "You'll never know!" [He quickly switches the wig and hat back to the Red Tazelwurm.]
Brandy: "I could so turn you both in for that A-minus." [The Red Tazelwurm hisses and eats Brandy's phone.] "Hey, give me that back!"
Camillio: [getting between them] "Okay, listen up chica. I don't know what's going on between me, you, and Brad's thousand-watt smile, but we gotta like help out my lizardly bro, yo. Like now. Pronto."
Brandy: "Lemme guess." [making air quotes] "Another Lee Ping spy thing?"
Camillio: [shrugging] "Pretty much."
Brandy: "Okay, sounds fun. I'm in." [pointing to Holger] "But you deal with Mister Phone Swallower." [dragging Cam away] "We gotta talk." [She leads Cam outside.] "Okay. So. Here's the deal with Brad. There's this super-secret Glamazon thing where we all vote for this year's leader, and I figured some attention from Brad would help my cred, and show Dru and McKenzie they should pick me over Kimmie."
Camillio: "So–you were just–using him?" [Brandy's mouth drops open as she realizes this.] "Dude! Totally like awesome! I'm a politician too! I get it. You got like the killer instinct, yo!"
[Holger walks up with the Red Tazelwurm and interrupts them.]
Holger: "No time for love, okay friends? We on secrety spy mission now."
[The group heads out. They stop when they see that in addition to a bunch of student hunters, Barrage and two cleaners are also guarding the fence.]
Holger: [scared] "Uh-huh-huh! Okay, how do we make escapy again?"
[Lee, looking out the window, spots his three friends. He calls Holger, and Holger answers.]
Lee: "Hey Holg, I see you."
Holger: [happy] "Oh, and we see you! Hi Lee!"
Lee: "Heh, yeah. Hi. Okay. Look along the fence to your right." [Lee is directing them to the unfinished section.] "All the way up to the back. That's your way up and over."
Holger: "Heyeah. Okay."
Brandy: "C'mon!"
[The group heads in the direction Lee indicated. The mathletes round the corner of the school building.]
Greta: "Holger?"
Holger: [stopping] "The Greta?"
Greta: [scared] "Uh, who-who's that?"
[Cam and Brandy freeze as Holger turns around to face his love.]
Holger: "Oh she is my cousin who is also Cam's girlfriend, and mine, and she does no like Brad, only us. Jealous?"
Irwin: "That's not a girl! That's the taz!"
[Barrage spins around. He focuses his cyborg eye on the heavily disguised Red Tazelwurm.]
Principal General Barrage: [pointing] "Someone stop that strangely attractive vermin! Stat!"
[Holger, Cam, and Brandy back up as students surround them.]
Nerdy Kid: "I want that grade!"
Steve: "Get 'em, I want that!"
[The principal's hand opens, and a net shoots out from his wrist. It bags the Red Tazelwurm cleanly.]
Lee: "No!"
[Cleaners haul the Red Tazelwurm away as Barrage turns to Cam and Holger.]
Principal General Barrage: "Looks like you two get an A-minus!"
Brandy: [walking up] "Don't forget I helped." [Cam and Holger look at her quizzically.] "What? We're totally busted, might as well get the grade."
[The school bell rings.]
Principal General Barrage: [harshly] "Fun's over. Get to second period."


[Cam and Holger are standing in the halls, despondent. Lee runs up to them.]
Holger: [crying] "Holger so sorry for failing!" [He buries his face in his hands.]
Camillio: "Yeah, lo siento, bro. We suck."
Lee: "Dudes, it's not your fault. I saw how it went down. Poor Taz."
Camillio: [excited] "Hola! I just remembered! Taz totally swallowed Brandy's phone!"
Brandy: [far away] "Which I totes want back by the fyi!"
Lee: "It's inside Taz? Right now?" [Brandy walks up.]
Camillio: "Uhh-uh Brandy you you sure you want it back y'know because there's only like one real way to kinda, like retrieve it at this point I mean I'm just saying think about it."
[Holger mimes eating a phone, enjoying it, then defecating it.]
Brandy: "Yeah. I get it. Ew."
Lee: [contemplating] "So if he ate the phone–"
Holger: "You can call and leave him many messages of support and encouragement?"
Camillio: "What? No! He can totally track him."
Lee: "Well, I can't, but I know someone who can. If he'll talk to me."
Principal General Barrage: "Ping!" [He approaches Lee.] "What in the smackamoley holy guacamole with a side of cilantro salsa, are you up to now?!? Yer late for class!"
Lee: "But the bell hasn't even–"
[The bell rings, and Lee quietly heads to art class. The principal follows him to the door.]
Principal General Barrage: "And not one peep!" [Lee and Biffy share the same art class.] "Oh, and Lieutenant Warhola, no bathroom passes for Ping. I don't care if he explodes!" [cheered up] "Well I do, 'cause that'd be a real hoot and a holler!" [serious] "So if he's about to, page me."
[The principal leaves, shutting the door behind him as he goes. Lee walks up to Biffy.]
Lee: [softly] "Biffy! I know we aren't talking, but they got Taz, but–listen. He ate Brandy's phone, and you could track him. Please? For Taz?"
[Biffy sighs and walks over to the teacher.]
Biffy: "Bathroom pass, please." [The teacher hands it over.] "Thanks."
[A few seconds after Biffy leaves the room, the fire alarm goes off. Students file out of art class in a single file line, and Lee is snatched from the line by Biffy.]
Lee: "Fire alarm. All you?"
Biffy: "Maybe, or maybe good timing. Come on."
[Lee and Biffy run down the hallway.]
Lee: "So, wait. We're talking now?"
Biffy: "No, I'm calling a time out so we can do this." [angry] "No small talk, got it?" [businesslike] "I checked on the Taz's location, they took him down to the tunnels."
[Lee and Biffy run into the library and into the back room. Lee unlocks the secret door.]
Lee: "So, wanna gimme your phone? Unless you wanna guide me, y'know, like the good old days."
Biffy: "Or, you could give me the key and I'll save him myself."
Lee: "Nah, I gotta see this one through. Pretty sure I owe Taz my life."
Biffy: "Fine. Then we both go. But since this is already getting too chatty, until we find him, no talking!" [He claps angrily.] "Starting now."
Lee: [snarkily] "What about singing?" [He follows Biffy into the tunnels.] "Can we sing to each other?"
[Biffy growls angrily.]


[Holger wanders around outside while the firefighters check the school. He spots Greta talking to some jocks.]
Holger: [worried] "But–but–Lee said it was just the Brad being evil. Now Greta is liking the jockular fellows?"
Brandy: [sighing] "Don't you see what happened? Brad paid attention to her, and she got her first shot of popularity. And now, she wants more."
Holger: [worried] "You think?"
Brandy: "I don't think. I know. So get your butt over there." [She pushes Holger towards the jocks.]
Camillio: [walking up] "Hey chica, I was thinking, maybe I could like talk to Trevor and Evan, you know, Dru and McKenzie's boyfriends, maybe get them on your side, know what I'm saying? You know, 'cause, it's your time to rule, mamasita! El Prez wants to help!"
Brandy: [shrugging] "Okay. Deal." [They shake hands.] "I'll work on the girls."
[Brandy walks off. Cam starts dancing.]
Camillio: "Brr, chickoo, chi-k-k brr, chickoo."
Holger: [tapping Greta on the shoulder] "Hello, Greta. So–"
Steve: "It's Frita, actually! At least that's what the Bradster calls her."
Holger: [upset] "Her name is Greta!"
Greta: "It's okay, Holger. Steve can call me whatever he wants."
[Holger quivers.]
Steve: "Hey, uh, Brad said you tutored him! And, well uh I have this math test later, and I was wondering–"
Greta: [thunderstruck] "Really? Me?" [Steve nods.] "Sure!"
Holger: [faking excitement] "Oh! Hey! Uh, um, me too! Me too! Will you also be ze tutor for Holger?"


[Biffy is leading the way through the tunnels.]
Biffy: "This way. Yep." [He holds his cell phone up to his face.] "He should be in...here."
[Biffy is looking at a door. Suddenly, it slides open. Biffy and Lee hide around a corner as two men in green hazmat suits walk out.]
Shift Surgeon Venkman: "Zat guy's nuts. I told him no more surgeries today. I am maxed out! Call in somevun else!"
[As soon as the hazmats walk past, Lee and Biffy run up to the door. Lee puts his key in, but when the door opens, Lee and Biffy gasp and slip away, as inside the room are several other workers.]
Biffy: "We're gonna need a plan."
Lee: "I love it when you say we." [Biffy punches him in the shoulder.] "Ow!"
Biffy: "Go ahead, keep it up."


[Two Council members are in the room, looking at the Red Tazelwurm.]
Female Council Member: "The smell in here is atrocious!"
Male Council Member: [to the Red Tazelwurm] "There there. Soon, you're gonna tell me where you put that key."
Female Council Member: "Um, he's an animal." [mockingly] "What, are you gonna teach him sign language now? Maybe a quick lesson in calligraphy?" [She laughs.]
Male Council Member: [affronted] "Laugh it up all you want! But I've been working on a device that'll not only allow us to see what they see, but to access their memories, and see all they've ever seen!"
[As he speaks, a screen above the cage shows several of the Red Tazelwurm's memories.]
Female Council Member: "Yeah, or give him brain damage."
Male Council Member: "Yes. Or that." [picking up a drill] "Prep the patient for memory chip implantation." [A cleaner fires a crystal gun at the Red Tazelwurm, and the crystal flakes off.] "And yes, Mister Taz. This will hurt. A lot." [He grins and starts the drill.]


[The two hazmats from before exit another room, this time dressed in their street clothes.]
Lee: "Hide!" [He and Biffy duck around a corner.]
Shift Surgeon Venkman: "If I do zat many surgeries in one day, I should be getting overtime. It's in my contract."
Biffy: [as soon as the employees leave] "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
[Lee and Biffy head for the changing room.]


[Trevor and Evan are running around the track while Greta tutors Steve and Holger in the bleachers.]
Greta: "Okay, let's try this again. The set c of complex numbers is a..."
Holger: [raising his hand] "Ooh, ooh! Holger know!"
Greta: "I know you know, but Steve doesn't."
Steve: "Is it uh, aheh I uh–"
Greta: [gesturing at the field] "What do you call that? A football..."
Steve: "Place?"
Holger: [irritated] "It's field. Field!"
Greta: "Holger, you're not helping!" [to Steve] "Don't worry, you'll get it."
[Meanwhile, on the field proper, Cam is approaching Trevor and Evan.]
Camillio: "Hey yo dudes! Bros in arms! Isn't it cool that us three dudes are like totally going out with like the best-looking chiquitas in school?"
Evan: "Yeah, I guess it's pretty cool."
Camillio: "Heyeah, it's just so weird y'know that Kimmie is like, head of the Glamazons and like, I mean, who's she going out with?"
Evan: "Yeah, I guess that's not cool."
Camillio: "Exactlytamundo! Y'know wouldn't it be like way cooler if the person who ran the Glamazons had some uh, I dunno, juice, you know. Like someone who's going out with someone who had like, mucho, mm, juice, you know?"
Evan: "Wait. You got juice. You're like, captain of the whole school."
Camillio: [surprised] "Whoa! I did not see it that way! But it's true. You know so in jock theory, shouldn't the captain's girl be like the main school chiquita?"
Evan: "Obviously. So Brandy should be in charge." [He and Trevor bump chests.]
Brandy: [watching from the bleachers] "That's my guy."


[Lee and Biffy exit the changing room dressed in green hazmat suits. Biffy couldn't find sleeves large enough to accommodate his biceps, so he's going sleeveless.]
Lee: "Biffy!" [They stop outside the door.] "Just in case this is a total suicide mission, I want you to know, I truly didn't mean to get you in Kimmie's bad books. It just went down wrong."
Biffy: "Helmets on." [He puts his on. It barely covers his face.] "Let's do this. Buddy."
[Lee puts his helmet on, and the duo walk into the room.]
Male Council Member: "Shift Surgeon Venkman! You're back! So, you will perform the surgery, now?"
Lee: "Uh. Surgery?"
Male Council Member: [annoyed] "We. Went. Over this. On the red taz? To implant the experimental memory chip?" [Biffy nudges Lee.]
Lee: "Um, yes! Ya! As Chief Surgeon Spankman–" [Biffy clears his throat.]
Biffy: "Venkman."
Lee: "Yes da, Venkman, of course." [He fakes a chuckle.]
Male Council Member: "Here is the, patient." [He steps aside to show the Red Tazelwurm.] "Proceed with the operation. Quickly!"
Lee: "Wait, what, now?"
Male Council Member: [handing over equipment] "Here is the implant, and the tool."
Biffy: "A drill? Uh, Chief Surgeon Venkman, uh, maybe we could just like uh, duck tape tape it on instead? Sir?" [Lee nods and hands Biffy the drill.]
Lee: "Doh ya, surgery is often sometimes too uh, bloody."
Male Council Member: [putting the drill in Lee's hands and pushing him towards the cage] "Stop being childish and do the operation!"
Lee: "Operation, ya, of course." [The Red Tazelwurm hisses. Lee kneels down and whispers to it.] "Taz. It's me. And I'm working on something but it's not fully developed, so any ideas you might have would be–"
Male Council Member: "Is there a problem?"
Lee: [standing up] "Oh. Uh–"
Female Council Member: "Maybe your surgeon doesn't wanna do it because he knows your plan will never work."
Male Council Member: [annoyed] "What is with you? You're always trying to undermine me!"
Female Council Member: "Because you are useless!"
Male Council Member: "Oh am I? Well I'll show you!" [to Lee] "Give me that!"
Lee: "No I got this!" [The man takes the drill from him.]
Male Council Member: "Out of my way!" [He shoves Lee aside and starts the drill. Suddenly an alarm goes off.]
Tunnel Security System: "Fire reported in sector 7G. Evacuate immediately."
Male Council Member: "It's probably just a false alarm we don't have time for."
Female Council Member: "Hmp. I can't wait to tell Cassandra we lost the red taz in a fire that you insisted was a false alarm."
Male Council Member: "Fine! Get these animals out of here!"
[Every scientist picks up a cage and carries it away. Biffy takes the Red Tazelwurm's cage.]
Male Council Member: [to Biffy] "You! Keep an eye on this one. He's priority Alpha!"
Biffy: "Yes sir. Priority Alpha. Got it."
[Lee and Biffy run out the door. When all the scientists run straight down the hall, Lee and Biffy turn into a side tunnel and remove their helmets.]
Lee: "Lemme guess. That alarm. You too?"
Biffy: "I never said I did the first one."
[Lee opens the cage, and the Red Tazelwurm goes free. Lee and Biffy follow.]


[Biffy pries open a manhole cover and steps out onto the street.]
Biffy: "Woohoo! Perfect! Who da man, huh?"
Lee: "You are!"
[The Red Tazelwurm licks Lee's face and Biffy's face in gratitude.]
Biffy: [happy] "Okay, no more kissing for today."
[The Red Tazelwurm puts its face to the ground and spits out Brandy's phone.]
Lee: [picking it up] "Aw, gross!" [He and Biffy laugh.]


[That night, Lee has a video chat with Holger.]
Lee: "Don't worry, Holg. Tutoring isn't dating."
Holger: "But what if the Steve falls in lovetimes for her because she is so–the kaflinkyfoo?"
Lee: "If you feel you're losing her, just win her back. You've done that before."
Holger: "Ja! Maybe the super spectacular romantic poem is the ticket!" [He pulls out a quill pen and a scroll of paper.] "Oh Greta, with the most splendoriffic unibrow." [thinking] "What rhymes with unibrow?"
Lee: "Goodnight Holger." [He turns off the computer.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: I don't get it. What were they trying to do with the Taz today? And why?
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