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Script


[Posters of action movies starring Ace Von Chillstein are seen in Holger's room. Holger is exercising.]
Holger: "I am Holgermiester, friend of Lee from school. Lee make whole school go kafloofashoop with prank." [Pictures of the prank appear.] "But really, no! But he took blame when his most pretty bag was I-spyed at the scene of the crime! So now, Lee must make zhe super sneaky-spy escape from detention to discover who did prank." [Pictures of Lee doing this are shown. A replay of Holger watching videos then appears.] "But, Holger I-spy Cam with ze bag same as Lee! Could Cam maybe buy same one to make switcheroo during zhe prank?" [Cam is seen purchasing the bag.] "Holger not know, but no want to tell Lee or ze friendship go poof! Then, Holger would make zhe very big cry, hoo hoo yeh! Dun dun dun."
Detentionaire

[Lee is in his room, getting ready for school.]
Mrs. Ping: [outside] "Lee! You're going to be late!"
[Lee grabs his backpack and puts it on his bed.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: So, Radcircles, you've managed to avoid me up to now. But I know you've been spying on me all this time. And I also know that if I learn your identity, I figure out everything. So today, I'm finding out who you are.
[Lee finishes packing his bag and heads for the door.]


[A streetcar runs through the city.]
Lee: "You okay, Holg?" [Holger looks exhausted.]
Holger: [yawning] "Ja, Holger tired. Stay up late watching scary movie."
Lee: "But you also watched the store surveillance tapes, right?"
Holger: "Mmm-hmm."
Lee: "So? Anyone buy the same bag as mine?"
Holger: [nervous] "Oh. Ahem. Lee, what if for sake of zhe playtime fun joke, Cam buy same bag. What Lee do?"
Lee: "Seriously?" [Holger nods.] "Okay. Well in that unlikely case, after I shot him into the sun and then took the vapor that once was Cam and froze it into a solid, I'd probably smash it with a hammer and shatter it into a billion pieces."
[Lee and Holger exit the bus. Holger is scared by Lee's response. Cam shows up at the bus stop.]
Camillio: "What up, muchachos?" [He bumps fists with Lee and then extends his fist towards Holger.]
Holger: "Ouch! Please, no hurt Holger!"
Camillio: [to Lee] "Uh, whaddup with baby hands?"
Lee: "Heh. I think he stayed up too late watching a late-night movie."


[The trio arrive at school.]
Camillio: "Dude! That movie was awesome! Like how that guy that worked at the fast-food drive-thru got replaced with an evil robot twin? Awwh!"
Lee: "I know, I did not see that coming. And his face melted off and it was all circuit boards and stuff underneath?"
Camillio: [giggling] "Yeah. And he's all like–" [He turns on an app on his phone and holds it up to his mouth.] "–do you want fries with that?"
[Holger gasps as he remembers how Cam walked away robotically after purchasing Lee's bag.]
Holger: [scared] "Cam is maybe...evil twin robot?!?"
Lee: "Dude, that sounded–just like Radcircles."
Camillio: "Yo, he musta downloaded the Voice 8000 app too, man." [He laughs.] "Cool." [Holger stares at him suspiciously.] "Okay seriously man can you stop that you're totally freaking me out."
Tina: [over the intercom] "Would the following students report to Room 113b. Steve Carb and Dean Clark."
[Biffy, who was taking a drink from the water fountain, straightens up directly into a very skinny kid. This sudden movement sends the kid flying into a locker, and the door shuts on him.]
Biffy: "Whoops! My bad." [A hand taps him on the shoulder. The hand belongs to the vice principal.] "I know, I know, detention. Yes, Vice Principal Victoria."
Skinny Kid: [banging on the inside of the locker] "Hello?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Biffy T., I do believe our little dance is getting a little old."
Skinny Kid: [banging on the inside of the locker] "Anyone?"
Biffy: "Agreed. So how about, uh, no detention for a change? Huh?"
Skinny Kid: [about to give up] "Kinda stuffy in here."
Vice Principal Victoria: "How about you take both your detentions to write me an essay explaining why you just can't help getting into trouble every day. On my desk by four-fifteen."
[The vice principal walks away. Biffy growls angrily.]


[Lee is checking things out on his phone.]
Lee: "Dude, that voice app Cam has is like fifty bucks! Where would he get that kinda cash?"
Holger: "Maybe he no need to buy app. Since Cam is maybe...perhaps...yes. Holger must say it now." [He holds up a bad drawing of a Cam robot.] "A robot!"
Lee: [rolling his eyes] "Holger, people aren't robots. It was one lousy late-night movie."
[The news comes on.]
Tina: "Good morning, A. Nigma students, I'm–"
Chaz: "Tina Kwee, blah blah blah." [He fakes snoring.] "Snorefest. And then there's Chaz Monerainian." [pretending a crowd is cheering] "Thanks, I know. I rule!"
Tina: [sour] "Right. So, today's top story–"
Chaz: "I've got it from here, T-snore. Is that we are just one more day away from the dynamic world premiere of the exclusive, you won't wanna miss. Here on–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" [normally] "And here's just a taste of what you're in for, A. Nigma High."
[A picture of Irwin picking his nose during the prank is put onscreen. This picture is followed by one of three jocks barfing during the prank, and then by Giuseppe looking for comfort from Steve during the prank. All of these pictures elicit laughter from the school.]
Lee: [to Holger] "Do you know what this means?"
Holger: "Cam is robot–"
Lee: "Chaz has the prank footage!"
Chaz: [back onscreen] "Tune in tomorrow for the exclusive prank video. On–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" [normally] "With Chaz!"
[Lee's phone rings. He looks at it suspiciously.]
Lee: "Radcircles?"
[Lee looks around the room and then ducks down to answer.]
Radcircles: "Knock knock."
Lee: "Yeah, who's there?"
Radcircles: "Betcha."
Lee: "Betcha who?"
Radcircles: "Betcha never get to see that tape. Hey, thanks for actually playing along for once." [Radcircles laughs.]
Lee: "Okay, Rad C. I'll take that bet." [Lee hangs up and then sits up straight. He puts his hand up.] "Mister Langhorne? Please? Please, before I spontaneously combust?"
[The teacher gives him a bathroom pass.]


[Stepak flashes the on-camera talent a thumbs-up as the bell rings, signaling the end of the news.]
Chaz: "Well Tina, it looks like we see who the real reporter is now. And this just in: it is me."
Tina: "But–but I don't understand. How did you get the prank footage?"
Lee: [storming in] "Yeah. My question exactly."
Chaz: "Oh Ping, please. You don't remember our little race for the camera?"
[Lee recalls seeing somebody steal the camera from the auditorium when he tried to retrieve it.]
Lee: [flabbergasted] "What-th-that was you?"
Chaz: "Yes, and I still have leg cramps at night. Thank you very much."
Lee: "So, Radcircles, we–" [He stops, confused.] "Finally meet?"
Chaz: [obnoxiously] "Who's what now? Radburples?"
Lee: "You know what? Forget it. Just show me the footage."
Chaz: [shutting his laptop] "Now what would be the fun in that? Be sure to tune in tomorrow." [making echoes] "Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow." [quietly] "On–" [singing] "–CHAZ'S CORNER!"
[The door to the news studio explodes, and two cleaners enter, trailed by the principal of A. Nigma High.]
Chaz: [being abducted by the hazmat-suited cleaners] "The hair! Aw c'mon!"
Principal General Barrage: "It seems you have something I want." [He scans the news desk and finds Lee hiding behind it.] "And what in the name of sweet sunny sirloin of sassafras, are you doing under there?" [picking Lee up] "Inspecting for mice?"
Lee: [playing dumb] "Whaaat, this isn't the washroom." [He nervously holds up his bathroom pass.]
Principal General Barrage: [setting Lee down] "Get back to class! I know your bladder and it's up to no good! I'll deal with you later!" [He shoves Lee out of the room and then turns to Chaz.] "And I'll deal with you now! Hand over that prank footage."
Tina: "Um, excuse me. What about a little something called 'freedom of the press?'"
Chaz: "I prefer, freedom of the Chaz. It's there. Take it. It's yours."
[Tina removes the memory card from Chaz's laptop.]
Tina: "Even though I'd love to see Chaz's big story get stomped, we–" [nervous] "–live in a democracy, and–you can't do this!"
Principal General Barrage: "Ah zip it. This! Ain't! A request!" [threateningly] "Hand it over, or we do this the hard way."
[Tina meekly tucks the card behind her back.]


[Lee is holding on to a memory card in detention when Biffy comes in.]
Biffy: [upset] "Aw, man, I gotta write a stupid essay today, this totally bites!"
Lee: [holding up the card] "Biff! Do you have anything that'll play this? It won't fit in mine."
Biffy: [taking out his laptop] "Yeah, I got an external, but I really need to focus on this essay." [He opens his laptop.] "Aw, man! Now you got me curious. What's on it?"
Lee: "Prank footage." [He hands the card over.]
Biffy: [intrigued] "Really. How'd ya score that?"
Lee: [remembering] "When the psycho cleaner dudes broke in, I went all stealth ops."
Memory Chaz: [being grabbed] "Watch the hair!" [Lee stealthily steals the memory card and switches it with a decoy.]
Biffy: "H-ho! Secret agent smooth! You're getting good at this, little buddy." [He moves to put the card in.]
Lee: "Hold on. I wanna do one thing." [He holds up his phone and records a video.] "Knock knock! Radcircles. Looks like I did get the footage. And pretty soon, I'll know exactly who's there." [He ends the video and turns to Biffy.] "Did that sound intimidating at all?"
Biffy: [sarcastic] "Yeah I totally peed my pants a little." [He opens the card, and a video loads.]
Chaz: [singing into a hairbrush] "Chaz's Corner!" [normally] "I dunno what sounds best, I know maybe this?" [singing again] "Cha-ah-ah-ahz's Cor-or-orner!" [normally] "Or, I dunno–" [singing] "Cha-haz-z's, Cha-ha-z's!"
Biffy: "This is not it."
Chaz: "Cha-ha!"
Lee: "Hmm." [He remembers again, but this time considers the possibility that Chaz switched cards.]
Memory Chaz: [being grabbed] "Watch the hair!"
Biffy: [laughing] "Dude, Chaz totally played you!"
Lee: [shocked] "He's still got the footage on him! Unh!"


[In the halls, the only topic of conversation is the upcoming video.]
Kimmie: [to Brad] "It's scandalous."
Giuseppe: [to the other emos] "If that video plays, my dad's gonna sue the whole school."
[Cam is messing around in his locker. Holger walks up, and Cam slams the door shut.]
Camillio: "Bro, people are in like freak mode over this yo, check it!"
Brad: [to Kimmie] "If people see me throwing a frog, they'll kick me out of all my animal charities."
Camillio: "If everyone sees it, and sees Lee didn't do it, it's game over on our new cool rep homes!"
[Holger takes out his phone and presses a button on it. Cam doesn't notice and looks the other way.]
Holger: [through clenched teeth] "It's already game over for you Mister Robot Cam's Evil Twin!" [He grabs Cam around the neck.] "C'mon, robot! Vhere is your off switch?"
Camillio: [strangled] "Dude! What're you–" [He coughs.] "Hey! Let me go, let go!" [He shoves Holger off of him.]
Holger: "Oh no! Robot about to explodashuffen! RUN!"
[Holger runs away. Cam finally is able to start breathing quasi-normally.]
Camillio: [to his friend's receding back] "Dude! You are so loco in the coco, man! I am not, a robot!" [Two Glamazons walk past, and Cam realizes how he must look.] "He-ey yo, keepin' it real man, heh heh, cool, I'm cool."
[Cam coughs painfully.]


[Tina is sitting in the principal's office.]
Principal General Barrage: [pacing] "Alrighty! We been here all morning! Gimme that card, or–" [The vice principal smacks him on the nose with a rolled up piece of paper.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "What did we say about threats?" [to Tina] "We know you think you're doing the right thing, but that footage is property of the school."
Tina: [determined] "I will not be pushed around!" [impressed] "Wow, that actually sounded pretty tough."
Vice Principal Victoria: "I'd feel the same way if I was in your shoes. But would Mister Monerainian really do the same for you?"
[Tina frowns as she realizes the answer.]


[The cafeteria is packed for lunchtime. Cam passes by the table of cool kids.]
Dickie: "We gotta get that footage. This has all been degrading enough."
Camillio: "Hey, hombres. You want footage? Cam the man can get you footage."
Brandy: [falsetto] "Cammy, Cam-Cam, sit right here." [She moves aside to make room.]
Camillio: [sitting down] "Okay, yeah, yeah don't mind if I do, bro."
Brandy: "Everyone's embarrassed, Steve thinks he may have sucked his thumb, we didn't have fresh makeup on–" [whispering] "–and Trevor made out with Dru, who is actually going out, with Evan."
Camillio: "Yeah no, I'm gonna get that footage like andele. But you know what, I think I really like to sit here."
Dickie: "You get us that footage, there'll always be a spot here for you." [He and Cam bump fists.]
Holger: [holding up a giant magnet] "This should scramble your circuits, Mister Robot Cam!"
[Holger holds a magnet up to Cam. Instead of doing anything to Cam, it attracts all the silverware on the table.]
Dickie: [to Brad] "Hey Brad, you gonna eat all your ice cream?"
Brad: [pushing his bowl over] "All you. I hate butterscotch."
[The word butterscotch echoes in Cam's ear. He immediately starts leaping on the table and acting like a monkey.]
Holger: [shocked] "It's vurst than Holger at first is thinking. Cam's evil twin robot is also half-monkey!"
[Holger runs out of the cafeteria. Meanwhile, Kimmie is playing cards with Steve.]
Kimmie: "Queen of hearts. I win."
[Cam's spell is broken, and he finds himself on Dickie's shoulders clutching a banana.]
Cam: "Hey. Yo. What's going on?"


[Lee is running around looking for Chaz.]
Lee: [to random people] "Have you seen Chaz? You seen Chaz?"
[Nobody has seen Chaz. Cam approaches his best friend.]
Camillio: [whispering] "Lee, yo, we gotta get that footage from Chaz and–"
Lee: [holding up the memory card] "I got it, but it's not the right–"
Camillio: [grabbing the card] "Dude! That's awesome!" [He saunters away.] "Thanks! I'll bring it back asap."
[Lee smacks his forehead in frustration.]


[It's 3:09 PM, and Tina still has not caved.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "It seems we've now wasted almost the entire day. Will you please just hand over the card! We'll have to bring your parents in!"
[Tina folds her arms over her chest and stares down the authority figures.]
Principal General Barrage: "Enough. This ends now."
Tina: "You don't scare me."
Principal General Barrage: "Really. Even if I log a report on your permanent rec-ord?" [He begins typing on his laptop.] "Although Mizz Kwee is usually an excellent student, she feels the need to defy authority." [Tina's face drops from stoicism to fear as she realizes the principal is going through with his threat.] "And make dippity doo-doo out of the rules." [Tina stares at him, shellshocked.] "Ha. University, schmuniversity. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Furthermore–"
Tina: [panicked] "Okay! Okay!" [tossing the memory card to him] "You win."
Principal General Barrage: [happy] "I always do."


[Cam walks through the school, memory card held high.]
Camillio: "Yo dude! I totally got it!" [singing] "Eenh ow, ee ohm, ennh ow een juuzhit, juuzhit, juuzhit." [normally] "Did I mention that I got it?"
Brad: "Boss."
[Holger watches through binoculars as Cam hands the memory card over. Brad plugs the card into his phone, and it fizzles into a video.]
Chaz: [pretending to receive an award] "...so unexpected. I'd like to thank myself, moi, and I for this award in excellence in journalism."
[In the principal's office, Tina and Principal General Barrage are watching the same video.]
Chaz: "Thank you."
Principal General Barrage: [annoyed] "What're you trying to pull?"
Tina: "I swear, that was the right memory card! You saw me take it! Someone must have switched it."
[The three people in the office contemplate who might have done so.]
Vice Principal Victoria, Principal General Barrage, and Tina: [simultaneously] "Chaz!"


[None of the popular kids are impressed with Cam's find.]
Dickie: "This isn't it." [The Glamazons walk away.]
Camillio: [desperate] "Oh, oh, oh hey, nonono girls, come back! It must have been switched, man! I can still totally get it for you guys! I swear!"
Dickie: "You'd better. 'Cause if you don't, we'll obliterate you from the social radar. And you'll pop like a zit."
Principal General Barrage: [over the school's television station] "Would Chaz Monerainian report to the principal's office. Oh, and could you please bring that prank footage with you? NOW! OR ELSE!" [The vice principal hits him over the head with a rolled up piece of paper.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "What did we say about threats?"
[Chaz is in the halls. He has seen the announcement.]
Chaz: "Well that can't be good."
[Chaz takes off running. Three jocks enter an intersection in the halls.]
Trevor: "Dude, people see me making out with Dru, I'm dead."
Evan: "Tell me about it. And if people see that I was crying–which I totally wasn't–hey!" [angry] "You made out with my Dru?!?"
Steve: "Hey! You!" [He has spotted Chaz.] "We need to talk!"
Chaz: [patting his coat nervously] "Uh. Huh, gee, Iknewit, I just I left my glasses back at a you know what I'm just gonna run off and get the old specs."
[Chaz hightails it out of there. The three jocks look at each other.]
Trevor: [realizing] "You don't wear glasses. Get him!"
[The jocks give chase.]


[Biffy has moved to paper to write his essay. Lee comes in to detention.]
Biffy: "Hey. I think I have a first sentence! How do you spell delinquish?"
Lee: "Pretty sure that's not a word."
Biffy: [crumpling up his paper] "Urrgh! Then you write this!"
[Biffy hurls the failed essay at Lee. Lee ducks, and it hits Cam, who has come to stand in the doorway.]
Camillio: [angry] "Dude! Why did you give me the wrong card, man? I was so in! Now I'm like, so out!" [gritting his teeth] "Mucho not good, bro!"
Lee: "Hey, you ran off before I could even explain!"
Camillio: [smacking his forehead] "Duh! Well you coulda like, texted me or something!"
Lee: [angry] "I did!"
[Cam angrily yanks his phone out of his pocket and checks his messages.]
Camillio: "Oh. 'Hey Cam, not that card.'" [He smiles sheepishly.]
Biffy: [angry] "Guys, you're wasting time, and blowing my concentration!" [calmer] "Look, Chaz is playing everyone, okay? So split up, and work together to find him. Just get outta here, and leave me alone already! Unh!"
[Lee and Cam glance at each other and decide to follow the bully's advice.]


[Chaz is running through the halls. He ducks into a classroom, and the jocks stop by the door.]
Steve: [pointing] "I think he went thataway!"
[The jocks continue down the hall. Chaz peeks out and then runs in the other direction. Meanwhile, the principal makes an announcement.]
Principal General Barrage: "There is no escape, Private Monerainian! Bring me that footage."
Tina: [watching] "Ugh, he's trying to get away! STOP THAT RAT!"
Principal General Barrage: [sweetly] "Oh, I got this under control, hmm?" [into the microphone] "Until I get that tape, it's lockdown, people."
[The principal presses a button on his laptop, and the entire school locks itself.]
Principal General Barrage: [making an announcement as Chaz jiggles the door handles] "A. Nigma High, Chaz is by the front doors. And anyone who brings me Chaz, gets a special re-ward. Dead, or alive." [The vice principal hits him on the head with her rolled-up paper.] "Ah! Okay, alive only."
[Chaz runs and looks around a hallway that intersects his.]
Evan: "There he is. Get 'im!"
[Chaz runs away from the jocks, who have spotted him again. The principal, meanwhile, equips a joystick and uses it to control cameras so he can watch Chaz.]
Principal General Barrage: "He's heading past the library."
[The principal continues to try and follow him with a separate camera, but goes too fast and passes Chaz.]
Tina: "Back up, you passed him!"
[The principal backs the camera up a little too far.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "No, he's over there. Zoom in!"
[The principal spots Chaz and zooms in. The camera whacks into Chaz's forehead.]
Chaz: "Ow!"
Tina: "No too close, zoom out, zoom out!"
Principal General Barrage: "Hey, if you think you can do a better job–"
[Tina shoves him aside and takes control of the joystick. She scans the hallways but finds nothing.]
Principal General Barrage: "Aw, you lost him!"
Tina: "Me?" [She looks at the principal angrily.]


[Lee is running through the halls when he gets a phone call. He answers his phone.]
Radcircles: [laughing] "How's the wild goose chase?"
[Lee hangs up. Cam runs up to him.]
Lee: "Anything?"
Camillio: "Nah. You?"
[Lee shrugs. They run past each other to check other possible locations for Chaz.]
Lee: [halting] "This is stupid. Why not–" [He takes out his phone and calls Chaz.]
Chaz: [inside a locker] "Hello?"
Lee: "Chaz? Why do you sound in stereo?"
[Lee realizes where Chaz's voice is coming from and pulls open a locker door. Chaz is inside.]
Chaz: "Please don't kill me. Okay this is my big story. This is gonna make me. Like the prank made you." [panting] "C'mon. How about a little, movin' on up camaraderie?"
Lee: "Here's the deal. Gimme the memory card, now."
Chaz: "No. That deal sucks."
Lee: "Okay. How about I get you home safe, and you show me everything."
[The principal makes another announcement.]
Principal General Barrage: "I might have mentioned alive before. But what I really need is the tape. The rest–oooop!"
[Barrage ends his announcement.]
Steve: [offscreen] "Hey! You!"
Chaz: [giving up] "Dokay! Deal!"
[Lee pulls the reporter out of the locker and leads him into the vents. Chaz pauses at the vent entrance.]
Chaz: "Aw, this is gonna stain my pants, isn't it?" [Lee pulls him in.] "AAAH!"


[The group in the principal's office is still scanning the school.]
Principal General Barrage: "Keep your eyes peeled! Chaz is out there somewhere."
[The cameras spot a group of popular kids protesting Chaz.]
Kimmie, Brandy, Trevor, and Steve: "We! Won't! Be! Embarrassed! We! Won't! Be! Embarrassed!"
[The cameras catch Dickie, Giuseppe, and Brad rummaging around the news desk.]
Principal General Barrage: "This is your democracy at work, Tina! As you can see, it's about as easy on the eyes as a porcupine picnic!"


[Cleaners are hard at work remodeling the library. Lee and Chaz drop down from a vent in the room.]
Lee: [whispering] "Ssh! I know a secret way by the back. There's a tunnel out. They're renovating in here so just keep quiet."
[Chaz bumps into a workbench and knocks a hammer to the floor. Lee looks at him angrily.]
Chaz: "Uh, that was half my fault and half gravity?"
[The cleaners look towards the noise.]
Lee: [taking off] "Run!"
[Lee and Chaz, their covers blown, exit the library and run down the hall. Lee pulls Chaz into an unoccupied classroom and shuts the door once the hazmats pass.]
Lee: "Why don't we just broadcast the video now? Over the net? Then it won't matter if you hand over the card."
Chaz: "Sounds good with the Chaz, but talk to his agent." [He turns his head to the side for a second before looking back.] "Nokay. I'm secretly my agent too, and as my agent, I say let's do this baby! I'm excited! Chaz is the man!"
[Lee rolls his eyes at the newscaster's egotism but gets to work on getting things set up.]


[Holger is in the bathroom, filling a water rifle.]
Holger: [singing] "Dun dun dun dun dun. Holger is going to prove, that Cam is not a robot, because robots and water don't mix, dun dun dun dun, they go together like cats and chocolate, dun dun dun dun dun da na na can't be a robot kay, ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
[Holger ties a bandana onto his head, affixes wristbands, and gets ready to fight the robot.]
Holger: [whispering] "Holger."


[Lee is ready to film Chaz, who has set up his computer and readied himself for broadcast.]
Lee: "All set to go?"
Chaz: "Yeah. Thing is, I can't just play it. I need an intro? I'm the Chaz, right. Hype baby, it's catnip for my fans."
[Lee, unimpressed, starts broadcasting.]
Chaz: "Ladies and kids, I've been hunted down mercilessly. But this soon-to-be award-winning journalist is still standing. And looking pretty darn stunning, wouldn't you say?"
Lee: "Uch, get to the point!"


[The group in the principal's office is still scanning the school.]
Tina: [frustrated] "Where are you?"
Principal General Barrage: [hearing a signal in his head] "Hold on a horsehair sandwich. Detecting outgoing transmission."
[The principal holds his finger in the air, locates the signal, and switches the feed from the school's security system to Lee's cell phone broadcast.]
Chaz: "They won't let me broadcast it over the news. But that can't stop us. 'Cause we have something called the internet. So here's my exclusive, one day early. Watch and weep, babies!"
Tina: "I know those walls. He's in the first floor science lab!"
[Chaz begins playing his preview images. The principal grabs the PA system's microphone.]
Principal General Barrage: "Chaz is inside the science lab. I repeat, Chaz is in the first floor lab!" [He puts down the microphone.] "Now to end this broadcast."
[The cyborg reaches out and pulls a giant switch on the wall. All of the electricity in the building goes off.]
Biffy: [still in detention] "Aw come on! I'm actually getting somewhere here!" [He sighs.] "Oh well."
[Biffy puts his head down and begins to nap. Meanwhile, Lee is watching Chaz's video.]
Lee: "Ugh, this footage is garbage!" [The lights go out. Chaz's internet connection fails, but the battery kicks in so that he can keep watching.] "Thank you battery power."
Chaz: "Wait, is it still broadcasting?"
Lee: "Uh, nope."
Chaz: "Aw."
[Cam is seen. He puts a bag identical to Lee's on the chair where Lee's bag was discovered.]
Lee: [gasping] "Cam? Switching my bag?"
Chaz: "Uh. Lee?"
[Chaz turns Lee's face towards the door. The popular kids have arrived.]
Dickie: "There he is!"
Steve: "Get 'im!"
[Cam pushes his way out of the crowd and approaches the broadcasters.]
Camillio: "Hand me the footage, Chaz." [to Lee] "Hey, how come you didn't tell me you found him?" [He pulls the memory card out of Chaz's scanner.] "Ha. Gotcha!" [to the popular kids] "Guys! I got it! The real one this time."
Lee: [wrestling with Cam for the card] "C'mon. Cam!"
Chaz: [joining the fray] "Gimme that!"
[The popular kids grab Cam and pull him into a huge hug.]
Camillio: "Guys! That's too hard!"
[The pressure surrounding him causes Cam's grip to tighten, and he snaps the card.]
Camillio: [looking at the broken card] "Wait! Destroyed?" [realizing] "Problem solved, right? What what!"
[Everyone but Lee and Chaz cheers.]
Lee: "Cam!"
Camillio: [realizing] "Oh, right, sorry bro."
Principal General Barrage: [spotting the broken memory card] "Ha! Mission accomplished. Chaz, you're off the news desk until further notice."
Chaz: [melodramatic] "No-ho-ho-ho!" [He collapses to the ground.] "I have been robbed!"
Principal General Barrage: "Everyone's going the heck home! Nothing to see here. Literally." [He presses a button on his remote that opens all the exits, and then walks over to Lee.] "And Ping. For harboring a known fugitive, the detention you had before was nothing like the detention you're gonna have from now on. Get ready for real pain. The painful kind!"
Lee: [sad] "Aw."
[The principal walks out of the room. Holger rushes in, water rifle locked, loaded, and aimed at Cam.]
Holger: "DIE, YOU ROBOT FREAK!"
Camillio: "Hey! What the–"
[Holger sprays Cam directly in the face for several seconds.]
Holger: "Huh?"
Camillio: [peeved] "DU-UUDE!"
Holger: [gasping] "O-ho-o! Cam!" [happy] "You no explode from water, which means you are no robot!" [He pulls Cam into a hug.] "Holger so happyhofen!"
[Lee walks over to Chaz's laptop, which is frozen on the frame of Cam with Lee's bag.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: Cam? No, it–can't be true.


[Lee is on his computer, video chatting with his two best friends.]
Camillio: [nervous] "Heh heh, sorry for breaking the drive, ese. But on the plus side, the cool kids love me man." [Lee's eyes narrow.] "And on the not-so-plus side, you still got detention. So it's like a you know like a sort of a winnnnn-lose kinda situation.
Lee: "Yeah, but I don't get what–"
Holger: "Holger just glad Cam no have zhe robot titanium exoskeleton."
Mrs. Ping: [outside] "Lights out." [She flips his lights off.]
Lee: [groaning] "Aaah. Goodnight, guys. Gotta go."
[Lee switches off the two chat windows. A new one appears with a shadowy figure inside.]
Radcircles: "The footage is gone. Guess you'll never get to the bottom of the mystery now."
Lee: "Yeah, but I saw it. I know who switched my bag. I know it's you, Cam."
[Radcircles just laughs and signs off.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: Surely my best friend didn't set me up for all this just to be popular. Cam can't be Radcircles.
Lee: "Can he?"
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