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Script


Lee: "Hey. I'm Lee Ping and I'm trying to stop an evil Council from unlocking a mystical pyramid under my school. Stop me if you've heard this one. Supposedly the pyramid'll only open with two keys. They have one, and I have the other. Lynch tried to get mine, but the Council kinda busted up our little meeting." [Pictures of the broken-up meeting appear.] "That's 'cause my room had been bugged, and that's how they found out where I was hiding my key. So, they sent some ninja dude to come swipe it." [The bug and theft are shown.] "They tried again, with both keys, but one of the council members got zapped." [The Council member is seen being shocked by the pyramid.] "Then the threats. Give up my routes down to the tunnels, or else." [Pictures of Lee's parents in danger appear.] "But I have one ace left up my sleeve. Tina and Jenny have been decoding a book that may explain how to open the pyramid correctly." [Tina and Jenny are seen working on the book.] "And get this. It used to belong to Finnwich!"
Detentionaire

Lee: "AAH! STOP!"
[Lee is on a platform that is swiftly descending down a hole. It stops when it reaches the bottom.]
Lee: [getting off] "Okay, in hindsight that was kinda fun. I gotta–whoa!" [He trips and lands on a backpack. He looks inside of it.] "Well, at least the book is okay. Score one for the good guys."
Jenny: [offscreen] "Let us go!"
[Lee walks over to a pair of curtains covering up one end of the tunnel he's in.]
Tina: "You can't do this! And–what happened to all your hair?"
[Tina and Jenny are tied to chairs that are dangling from the ceiling.]
Lee: [running in] "Tina! Jenny! Hold on!"
Tina: "No! Lee! Don't!"
Jenny: "It's a trap!"


[The Serpent takes pictures through a window of Lee's home life.]
Mr. Ping: [tickling his wife] "Tickle tickle tickle!"
Mrs. Ping: [giggling happily] "Stop that! You know I'm not ticklish!" [Lee, watching TV, groans. His mother sticks her head into the living room.] "Lee, your father and I have some plans today. He has been gone a while." [lightly elbowing him] "Haven't you, Mister Doctor Man?"
Mr. Ping: "You know it, my little lotus blossom!" [They brush noses. Mr. Ping then turns to his son.] "So, son, no grounding today! Enjoy the sunshine! Be a kid!"
Lee: "Really? A free Saturday? For realsies?" [grateful] "Wow, thanks guys."
Mrs. Ping: "And don't come back till dinner!"


[Soon, Lee gets on a video chat with Tina.]
Lee: "Yeah, so, I got the day off, and I was kinda thinking, maybe we could, y'know, hang? We could–"
Tina: "Go to the fairgrounds?"
Lee: "The fair? Sure but, isn't it closed this time of year?"
Tina: "But that's where you last saw Finnwich, right?"
Lee: "True, but it's a free day. Technically we could do anything."
Tina: "If the book belongs to him, we should find him."
Jenny: [in a new window] "Hiya Lee! Uh, since you're grounded, maybe I could bring the book over."
Tina: [rolling her eyes] "Oh hey, Jenny." [grinning wickedly] "Sorry, Lee and I already have plans. We're tracking down Finnwich at the fairgrounds."
Jenny: "Oh wow, Tina's first date!"
Tina: [shocked] "What? It is not a date!"
Jenny: "Great, then you won't mind me joining in. Seeya there in thirty!" [She signs off.]
Tina: [smiling] "So–I guess I'll meet you there. Bye." [She signs off.]
Lee: [to himself] "Yeah, right. On our non-date."
[Shortly thereafter, Lee darts out of the house, drops his skateboard to the pavement, and rides off. The Serpent, hiding behind a tree, takes a picture of him as he rides. Meanwhile, Lee pulls out his phone and calls Biffy. Biffy answers.]
Lee: "Hey! I got a free day, so I'm going to the fairgrounds to try and find Finnwich. You in or what?"
Biffy: "No can do, I'm on Kimmie's mom recon today."
Lee: "Yeah. More like Kimmie recon. Hope you remembered to use deodorant, and maybe a splash of coverup for that forehead zit."
Biffy: [growling] "Graah, Ping, sometimes I really–grr, is it that noticeable?" [Kimmie opens her front door, and Biffy quickly hangs up.] "Oh, hey, I was just uh–"
Kimmie: "Ssh!" [loudly] "No, I do not want any Girl Group cookies!" [She shuts the door and escorts Biffy away from her house.]
Biffy: "Uh...what? And wait a sec, I do!"
Kimmie: [hissing] "Why are you not in the bushes?"
Biffy: [whispering] "I thought you were joking!"
Kimmie: "I wasn't. My mom really hates you. If she finds out we're hanging, she'll go ballistic. So what's the big plan for our date?"
Biffy: "Date? Psh, please. I just came by to use you for your pool."
Kimmie: [faking a laugh] "I am so sure. Anyway, I already had a swim today. We're doing something else now." [She whistles, and a black car pulls up. She leads him toward the backseat.]
Biffy: "Where are we going?"
Kimmie: "Just get in. Oh, and I have some coverup for that cute little zit of yours."
Biffy: [agitated] "C'mon, how can you even see it?!?"


[Lee's next phone call is to Holger, who is cleaning himself.]
Lee: "So, you in?"
Holger: [nervous] "Aye aye. Holger come on secrety spy mission." [He bursts into tears.]
Lee: "Hey pal, are those tears I hear?"
Holger: "Holger be calling ze Greta for disco party but she is going to mall place for study with Steve."
Lee: "The mall? On, the weekend, alone? Okay that is a date." [Holger cries.] "Holger, listen. If you want Greta back, you need to get your fancypants on, and get down to the mall, and fight for her."
Holger: "Aye, aye." [determined] "Holger put on fanciest of pants and give out so many sandwiches of pure knuckle! It vill be crazy, no?"
Lee: [facepalming] "Almost forgot who I was talking to. When I say fight for her I mean, win her back. Be romantic!" [Holger hangs up.] "No knuckle sandwiches, okay?" [He hears a dial tone.] "Uh, Holg?"


[Cam is in his basement. A sheet of paper is in his left hand and a phone is in his right.]
Camillio: "Sorry Ping, a bunch of us are being blackmailed and we just got a new letter!" [His doorbell rings.] "We're meeting to like figure something out."
Mrs. Martinez: [upstairs] "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez! Your friends are here!"
Camillio: "Gotta go dude. Hasta lluego!"
[Five other teenagers file into the room. Trevor and Cyrus carry Grayson down.]
Grayson: "Much obliged, fellas!"
Camillio: "So everyone got a new letter?" [He gets another phone call. He answers.]
Brandy: [irate] You were supposed to be here three minutes ago! You'd better be dead, or severely injured."
Camillio: [wheedling] "Chica, I told you, something big came up I gotta go!" [He hangs up and turns back to the others, laughing nervously.] "Little First Lady Presidential spat. Onkay, now, where were we?"
Dickie: "The new letters. Dear Cheater, if you don't want your secrets out, pour hot soup on your lap and send me the video by noon." [He holds up a thermometer that was attached to the letter.] "No cheating. Use this to prove it."
Cyrus: [outraged] "First bugs, now this? What's gonna be tomorrow, stuff firecrackers down our pants?"
Camillio: "Guys, this needs, to stop. And maybe with us all working together, we can do it, okay? Hey, where's Steve?"
[Steve runs halfway down the stairs, panting.]
Steve: "Sorry I'm late. But I gotta go." [He tosses a phone at them.] "Here's my vid! Later!"
Camillio: [as he leaves] "You coulda just emailed it yo!" [The front door slams.] "We don't need your whole phone, dude!"
[Cam presses play as the group gathers around. They gasp as they watch.]
Recorded Steve: "AAAAAHHHH!"
Camillio: [disturbed] "Unkay, I am so not doing that. No to the way, man! So what do we have on this blackmailer? Anything? Someone?" [Everyone but Cam holds up a piece of paper.] "Besides the notes?" [They hold up their thermometers.] "And those, c'mon people!"
Grayson: "I think we're missing something fairly obvious. This is the second time the blackmailer used the same email account. Perhaps we could track it."
Camillio: [enthusiastic] "See? Now that's what I'm talking about! Everyone think more like genius guy here, okay, Grayson, start hacking."


[Tina and Jenny are waiting outside the amusement park. Jenny sticks her finger in her nose.]
Tina: [disgusted] "If we're gonna share the book, I'd really prefer it without boogers."
Jenny: [annoyed] "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm cursed! Plus it's my book."
Tina: "Alright you know what?" [She pulls a pair of boxing gloves out of her backpack.] "Desperate times call for desperate measures." [She places a glove on Jenny's right hand.] "Now, just try to pick your nose! And if we get into any trouble, you can hand down some fury!"
Jenny: [sarcastic] "Pfft, yeah, okay, I love this plan! I'm really gonna go along with it!"
Tina: "Good!" [She places the other glove on Jenny's left hand.]
Jenny: "Uh, hello, sarcasm?"
Tina: [smug] "I noticed. Just try to go a whole day without picking, and you might just break the habit."
Jenny: "Okay, I'll wear your stupid gloves all day if you can go the whole day without flirting with Lee!"
Tina: [shocked] "What? I don't flirt with Lee!"
Jenny: [rolling her eyes] "Please! That's all you do. Why don't we ask him?" [calling] "Oh Lee!" [Lee walks toward them.]
Tina: [covering Jenny's mouth] "Okay, deal, just don't say anything!"
[Lee walks up to them.]
Lee: [looking at the boxing gloves] "Should I even ask?"
Tina: "It's to stop her from–" [pointing at her nose] "Y'know."
Lee: [impressed] "Clever!"
Tina: [happy] "You think? Thanks, 'cause I was just–" [She notices Jenny's look.] "–uh, what are we waiting for?"
[Tina walks through a bent bar in the gate, and Lee follows. Jenny looks from side-to-side and tries to pick her nose but ends up punching herself in the face.]
Jenny: "Ooh! Uh. Grr!"
[Jenny follows them into the amusement park. A periscope pops out of the ground and watches them.]


[Steve and Greta are in the food court.]
Greta: "Okay Steve, try sounding out the words."
Steve: "The rig or of the per–the per–aw! These words are just way too hard!"
[Holger runs up to their table.]
Holger: "You can be dropping the acting, buster man! Greta, do you know Steve be middle school spelling champion?" [He holds up a picture on his phone that proves it.]
Greta: [reading] "Star quarterback and Nobel Prize-winning author's son wins local spelling bee." [Steve slumps. Greta turns back to him.] "If you know all this stuff, why are you–"
Holger: "Because he be liking you! Internet searchy times prove it."
Steve: "It's true. I like you! It started since we've been studying, and well, I didn't want it to stop!"
Greta: "So you pretended to be stupid?" [angry] "Did you really think that acting like an idiot would win me over?"
Steve: "Well, you like him!" [He points at Holger.]
Holger: [sliding down the escalator rail] "Yay, woohoo!"
[Holger runs out of rail and hits the ground with a thump. Greta growls and leaves the table. Holger gets up and goes with her.]
Holger: [to Steve] "Yes. We be leaving now, liar face!"
Greta: [shoving him away] "Not now, Holger!"
[Greta walks off on her own. Holger turns back to see the quarterback cracking his knuckles.]
Steve: [seething] "You, made her, hate me!" [He gets up and chases after Holger.]


[Tina and Lee enter a dark tent.]
Tina: "Whoa." [waving her hand around] "I can barely see my hand in front of my face."
[Tina takes out her phone and uses it for illumination. Lee follows suit. Jenny punches herself in the nose.]
Jenny: "Uh! Ow."
Lee: "Ten bucks says there's a secret tunnel or something in here."
Tina: "Yeah. And ten bucks says Jenny will probably punch herself again soon!"
Jenny: [punching herself] "Ouf!" [Lee and Tina chortle. Jenny manages to get her phone out and on, but she drops it on the ground.] "Stupid gloves!" [She leans over and picks up her phone. Suddenly, something grabs her from above and lifts her up.] "Uhhh!"
[Jenny drops her phone on the ground, and it turns off. Nearby, another periscope pops out of the ground and looks around. Lee and Tina don't notice that their party has dwindled.]
Tina: [examining the stage] "See a trap door or something?"
Lee: [looking around] "Where's Jenny?" [calling] "Jenny?" [worried] "I don't see her." [Behind him, somebody grabs Tina.] "Tina?" [scared] "You guys better be playing me. Jenny? Tina?!?"


[Biffy and Kimmie are in the food court at the mall. Biffy hides his face behind a newspaper.]
Biffy: "Are you sure we should be here? Y'know, in public? Rep to protect."
Kimmie: [scoffing] "Yeah, as a loner, bully, and psycho with a huge forehead zit? Are you gonna finish that corn dog?" [She steals it from him.]
Biffy: "Hey! You didn't want, and I quote, 'anything disgusting and fatty'."
Kimmie: [scarfing it] "As long as I didn't order it, it doesn't count." [sighing] "Now what, I'm bored."
Biffy: "Why is it my job to entertain you?"
Kimmie: "'Cause that's how dates go?"
Biffy: [quietly] "A date? Cool!" [normally] "Uh, well there's always horsey riding."
[Biffy points at a pair of kiddie rides. Holger runs up and hides behind Biffy.]
Holger: [whispering] "No be telling him Holger is here!" [He spots Steve.] "AHHH OH NO!" [He begins running again.]
Steve: [chasing him] "You ruined my chance with Greta!" [They run around the table.]
Holger: "No! You be ruining Holger's chances!"
Kimmie: [raising an eyebrow] "Two losers fighting over another loser. This will alleviate my boredom." [She sticks out her leg and trips Holger. Steve dives on him. Kimmie whistles to get their attention.] "All star. Flashypants. Chill." [They continue fighting.] "Girl troubles? You're in luck. We're bored, and ruining–I mean, helping folks is what we do."
Steve: [looking up] "It is?"
Holger: [pinned beneath Steve] "You be having a solution?"
Kimmie: "Looks like it's time for a Kimtervention." [to Biffy] "This could be fun, right?"
Biffy: "Or we could ride the horsey! I got a whole roll of quarters!"


[Lee walks through the tent, searching for his lost friends.]
Lee: "Tina! Jenny!"
[One of Finnwich's robots appears behind Lee in a puff of smoke. Lee runs away from it and almost runs into another robot. He changes directions and ducks behind a pair of boxes. The robots pick up the boxes, and decide to search elsewhere when Lee isn't behind them. Lee tries to creep over to another hiding spot, but a hole in the ground suddenly opens up in front of him.]
Lee: [falling] "WHHHAAAAAHHH!"


[The group of blackmailed teens is still in Cam's basement.]
Grayson: "Oh, rats! He's using a new account, and bouncing his IP! No way to track whoever it is."
[The group groans. The door to the basement opens.]
Brandy: "What is going on?" [She is on the steps.] "Why did you hang up on me? And what is everyone doing here?"
Camillio: "Hey, bro!" [He walks over to her and leads her aside.] "Uhnkay listen. We all kinda did something bad, and now we're being blackmailed and we have to like pour hot soup in our laps. There. Happy? Now you gotta go because you cannot see this."
Brandy: [happy] "Are you kidding me?" [She takes a seat on the couch.] "Who's first?"
Dickie: [confident] "Nobody. 'Cause we're gonna nail the blackmailer today."
Brandy: "Going on the offensive, nice. So, got any leads?" [She gets no response.] "Do you have any common friends?" [Nothing.] "Enemies? Frenemies?"
Grayson: "Um, what was the last one?"
Brandy: [laying it out] "Someone targeted all of you, so, what do you all have in common?" [Nobody answers. She stands up and speaks loudly.] "Or, I can heat up some soup!"
[Cam grabs his crotch and whines pitifully.]


[Lee is on a platform descending deep beneath the ground.]
Lee: "AAH! STOP!" [The platform reaches its destination and stops.] "Okay in hindsight that was kinda fun." [He leaves the platform.] "I gotta–" [tripping] "Whoa!" [He has tripped over Jenny's backpack. He looks inside.] "Well, at least the book is okay. Score one for the good guys."
Jenny: [in the distance] "Let us go!"
[Lee puts on the backpack and heads for the end of the tunnel.]
Tina: "You can't do this!" [Lee pulls aside a curtain covering the exit.] "And–what happened to all your hair?"
[Tina and Jenny are tied to back-to-back chairs that are dangling in midair from a rope.]
Lee: "Tina! Jenny! Hold on!" [He runs in.]
Tina: "No! Lee! Don't!"
Jenny: "It's a trap!"
[Lynch laughs maniacally.]
Lee: [stopping] "Lynch!"


[Kimmie has gotten to work. She has Greta with her. Greta has a grumpy look on her face.]
Kimmie: "Okay Frita, two boys like you but of course you can only have one. So, I'm helping you out, with a Kimtervention." [to Biffy] "Come on!"
Greta: "Okay first, it's Greta. Second, why are you talking to me? Third, what's a Kimter–"
Kimmie: "This." [She points to a strength-testing machine.] "The hammer of love. Could there be a better test of manliness?"
Greta: "I don't care how hard someone can swing a hammer! It's about–"
[Steve runs up, grabs the hammer, and knocks the ringer up to the bell.]
Steve: "Bam! Romance!" [He chest bumps a man with a cane, sending the man flying.]
Holger: [bitter] "Oh, ja. Holger was being number one hamster swinger, back in home country." [grabbing the hammer] "Check it, garcon!"
[Holger grabs the hammer, stumbles around with it, trips while stumbling backwards and cracks his skull against the tester. It goes partially up the measure and then comes back down.]
Greta: [worried] "Holger! Are you alright?" [She goes over to him.]
Kimmie: [holding up Steve's arm] "We have a winner, Frita! You love Steve. Kiss and we're done."
[Holger weeps softly. Biffy sighs.]
Biffy: "C'mon, there's more to a man than strength. Right Grets? Time to change this lame Kimtervention into a Bifftervention!"


Lee: "Lynch! Not funny. You know, you're–"
Lynch: [wigless] "Nuts? You are what you eat!" [He laughs.]
Lee: [unamused] "I was gonna say crazy."
[Lynch stops laughing.]
Lynch: [sheepish] "Oh. Kinda jumped the gun there."
Lee: "What do you want?" [A periscope looks out from the rocks.]
Lynch: "Don't rush me, I'm getting to it." [gesturing to a giant door] "You see, I've devised an ingenious device. My knock-knockers will allow me–"
Jenny: "Uh, 'scuse me? Yeah, you." [While Lynch is distracted, Lee sneaks off.] "Bald guy. Uh, who are you?"
Tina: "Yeah, seriously. And what happened to your hair?"
Lynch: [facing Lee] "I can see you sneaking around, Lee Ping. Now stay put!"
Lee: "You probably haven't had hair for a long time. What are ya, ninety? All that high-tech plastic surgery, but no hair transplants? Why is that?"
Lynch: "None of your beeswax! And girls, be quiet, and just be scared. This is between me and Lee."
Jenny: "Great, then can you just let us go?"
Lynch: [rolling his eyes] "Obviously I can't do that, because then you won't give me what I want!"
Jenny: "Well if he has what you want, then why didn't you abduct him?"
Lynch: "Uh, hello? I'm the bad guy, he's the hero. And you, are one of two damsels in distress. And I'm in the middle of explaining something!" [calmer] "All right. Where was I?"
[Suddenly, Lynch smiles. He grabs the knocker on the door and bangs it twice. A pair of doors beneath Tina and Jenny spring opening, revealing a pool of strange green brew. The girls scream.]
Tina: [frightened] "Whoa! What, is that?"
Jenny: "Whatever it is, uf, it smells awful!"
Lynch: "It's old Green Apple Splat." [The periscope examines him.] "It's gone bad. Real bad!"
Lee: "Look, Lynch, you're wasting your time. I don't have the key anymore. Some ninja dude from the Parents' Council took it!"
Lynch: "Is that so. Are you sure?" [He knocks, and the chairs descend a few feet towards the bad soda.]
Lee: "C'mon, let 'em go! I'm serious, okay. The Council stole the key to open the pyramid, so let them go."
Lynch: "Ssh! Don't mention that thing."
Lee: "What? You mean the pyramid under the–"
Lynch: "I warned you Ping!"
[Lynch puts his hands on the knocker again. Lee runs forward and rips them off. The two wrestle until Lee knocks Lynch against the door knocker. The mechanism on the door is triggered, and the two girls fall into the pool.]
Lee: "No! What have you done!" [running over to the bad Green Apple Splat] "Tina? Jenny?"


[Lee reaches towards the soda.]
Lynch: "I really wouldn't do that. It's–"
[Suddenly, the pond of bad soda begins draining. Tina and Jenny cough and choke as they begin to breathe again.]
Tina: "Gross."
Jenny: [furious] "When I get out of here you are so dead buster!"
Lynch: "They're still alive? But how?"
[A curl of smoke wafts through the room and explodes into the figure of an old man.]
The Amazing Finnwich: "An amazing illusion! Or perhaps I, The Amazing Finnwich, replaced your harmful sody-pop with common Uruguayan molasses."
Lee: "Finnwich?"
Lynch: "But why?"
[Finnwich uses his cane to knock Lynch off of his feet.]
The Amazing Finnwich: "Because you, my young assistant, are here to help me, and not dissolve those young lasses in your evil concoction! Now help them out." [Lynch crawls off to do his bidding.] "So, Mannifestum, it's our pleasure to meet once more."
Lee: "Again with that name! It's Lee! And why are you working with him?"
The Amazing Finnwich: "He happens to be my assistant for now."
Lee: "Him? Seriously?"
The Amazing Finnwich: "It's temporary I assure you. A barter. I protect him from them. In return, he delivers the one thing I want more than anything, the location to the Antiquis Triangulum."
Lee: "The what?"
Tina: [climbing out of the pit] "It's Latin for ancient triangle."
The Amazing Finnwich: "Versed in Latin, bravo! Now, the pyramid. It's of the utmost importance that you will relate everything you know about it."


[The group is still in Cam's basement. Depression has set in.]
Brandy: "Guys, it's almost twelve. Since you can't think of anything you have in common besides amazing muscles, let's soup it up!"
Grayson: "But it's true." [demonstrating his developed biceps] "About the muscles."
Camillio: "Du-u-u-ude. The only person with bigger arms than you, and maybe Biffy, was like Missus Rosenbloom, 'member her?"
Nasasha: [laughing] "Yeah! Grade three, right?"
Dickie: "Yeah. On recycling day she'd crush soda cans with her biceps."
Cyrus: "Crazy strong."
Camillio: [surprised] "Wait! You all know that? Were we all in Missus Rosenbloom's class? I think I got my grade three school photo down here somewhere." [He runs over to a desk and fumbles around in a box. He pulls out a photo.] "Score! And check it, yo! All of us were in the same class!"
Cyrus: [pointing to other class members] "Those five aren't being blackmailed. So it's probably one of them!"
Grayson: "Even if it is there's no time to find out which one. We only have four minutes left!"
Brandy: "Nerd brain's right. Soup time!" [She takes the lid off of a steaming pot of soup.] "This is going to be hilarious. For me at least."


[Jenny and Tina have gotten out of the pit.]
Lee: "So if I tell you where the pyramid is, will you let us go?"
The Amazing Finnwich: "Certainly my boy! You have my word."
Lynch: [grabbing Lee] "No, wait, don't!"
Jenny: "I've got this one." [tapping Lynch on the shoulder] "Hey weirdo!" [Lynch lets go of Lee and turns around.] "So you thought you could tie me to a giant novelty door-knocker and get away with it?" [She raises her fist.]
Lynch: "Wait!" [grinning sheepishly] "You wouldn't hit an old man with bifocals, would ya?"
[Jenny delivers a haymaker right.]
Lynch: "Ow!" [He goes down.]
Jenny: [happy] "Ha! Hey Tina, you were right about the gloves! They totally work."
Lee: [to The Amazing Finnwich] "Okay. It's under the school."
The Amazing Finnwich: [chuckling] "Of course! It makes all the sense in the world! Alexander Nigma you tricky little charlatan, even after you're gone." [still chuckling] "I rather liked him until...well–"
Tina: "Why is the Parents' Council trying to open it? What's that all about?"
The Amazing Finnwich: [shocked] "Oh don't tell me they know of its whereabouts too! Those devilish rapscallions. Have they opened it? Of course not, no one can. Not without–and even that can't be opened."
[Lee eases the book slightly out of Jenny's backpack and looks towards her. Jenny shrugs.]
Lee: [holding the book] "Any chance you're talking about–"
The Amazing Finnwich: [shocked] "The Manifester Arcainiumus! You have it? But–but it was burnt in the fire! And–you unlocked it? B–but how?!?"
Lee: "The Tazelwurm kinda helped."
Tina: "But it doesn't matter 'cause you still can't read it!"
The Amazing Finnwich: [pulling out a many-lensed mechanism] "Ah, but I can." [He reads with the mechanism and gasps.] "This is why they're onto it now. But they don't even know it!" [realizing] "The time is near!" [He walks off determinedly.]
Lee: "Huh? What?"
The Amazing Finnwich: "You can't stay." [He pulls a lever on a motor.] "I'm very busy."
[A platform raises the three teenagers back to the surface world.]
Jenny: "Huh?"
Lee: "No!"


[Steve and Holger have moved on to the Bifftervention.]
Steve: "Aw this is so on."
Holger: [bitter] "Ja. It is so on it is off!"
Kimmie: "Ready set go!"
[Holger and Steve have a huge stack of corn dogs in front of them. They dig in, competing over who can eat the most.]
Greta: "This isn't making me like anyone better. It's just gross!"
[Greta leaves. Meanwhile, Holger finishes the last corn dogs. Steve groans and runs over to a trash can, where he empties his stomach of everything he has recently consumed.]
Biffy: "Holger wins! Booyah!"
Kimmie: "Um, I don't think anyone won. Greta's gone."
Holger: [upset] "Biffyvention just as bad as Kimmievention! Now you make Holger's heart heavy like heavy thing that sinks in water!" [He runs off crying.]
Kimmie: "Well that killed the boredom. And it was surprisingly fun." [Biffy walks away from her.] "Hey! Where're you going?"
Biffy: [upset] "You just managed to break three people's hearts in under an hour, and you made me a part of it! Congrats on that! Why don't you strangle a baby duck for an encore, Missus Meanie!" [running after Holger] "Holger, wait up!"
Kimmie: [taking out her compact] "Evil? Maybe. Hot? Totally." [She gasps as she checks the mirror.] "Am I getting a zit?"
[A pimple is starting to appear in the middle of Kimmie's forehead.]


[The Serpent is still taking pictures of Lee's home life. At the moment, Lee is on the couch, watching Cam's soup video.]
Recorded Camillio: [pained] "Hiyeeaieeeaieee!" [A video chat window opens on Lee's desktop.]
Camillio: [upset] "Dude this is not funny man! My lap feels like a wild javelina got loose in my pants!" [angry] "Dude's playing us like cheap accordions. He's gonna go down!"
Lee: "Get this: I found Finnwich! Something huge is happening with that pyramid for sure! But I have no idea what yet."
Camillio: "Are there gonna be mummies coming out of it and like walking around school all like–" [imitating a zombie] "Aoooooo!" [normally] "'Cause I'd be super into that."
Mrs. Martinez: [offscreen] "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez! Did you want me to rub the aloe on you?"
Camillio: "No! I'll do it myself ma!"
Lee: "O-kay. Hey, you heard from Holger or Biffy? Neither one is answering their phone."
Camillio: "Nah. I haven't heard from them for hours, dude!"


[Holger and Biffy are still in the mall.]
Biffy: [sighing] "So we cool yet?"
Holger: "On vun condition." [happy] "Vunce more!" [He giggles.] "And Biffy to be joining me this time."
[Biffy drops two quarters into the payment slots, and the duo ride the horsies.]
Holger: "Yay!" [They laugh.]
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