Detentionaire Wiki

Lee: "Guess who has two thumbs and got a year of detention for a prank he didn't even do? This guy." [A picture of Lee appears.] "And I've been trying to find out who set me up ever since. But now that Radcircles' phone is cracked, I've learned all I need to know about the prank mastermind. Oh, except one thing. Who he is. But, I do have an important ally. Vice Principal Victoria! With her help, I can expose Barrage and find out who his evil minion is! Radcircles, I'm coming to get you!"

9:20 PM
[Lee cracks open the door to a bedroom and peers in.]
Lee: "Psst! Anyone here? Hello?"
[Lee enters the room and steps on some discarded peanut shells. Outside, he hears creaking floorboards, so he shuts the door and hides under the bed. Shortly thereafter, somebody comes to the door and pulls it open. When Lee sees who it is, he gasps and then hastily covers his mouth.]
Earlier that day...8:06 AM
[Lee is walking to school with Cam.]
Camillio: "Bro, can't a couple of homies walk ten feet without checking their cell phones?"
Lee: "Hey, you'd be on yours too if you hadn't accidentally busted it playing Disgruntled Parakeets."
Camillio: "M'kay, first off, it's Disgruntled Pigeons, a game about parakeets would be mucho stupid. They're like yellow, and lame, and second, it was no accident, man. I am free, from the tyranny, of technology, yo!" [Lee turns back to the phone.] "That Radcircles phone is so sweet! Did you find anything on it?"
Lee: "Everything except what matters. I still don't know who he is!"
Lynch: [far away] "Hey."
[Lee and Cam turn and see the vice principal talking to Lynch. She notices them, waves, and pushes Lynch into the school.]
Camillio: "Hey hey hey! Looks like someone's got friends in high places, yo!"
Lee: [smiling] "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got her on my side. And she could be the ticket for clearing my name."
Camillio: [pointing] "Speaking of friends, uh, looks like the band's back together man."
[Holger walks past on his phone. He completely ignores his friends.]
Camillio: [confused] "Did he just–Holger! Yo!"
[Holger walks up to the Glamazons. Kimmie is on her phone, and her phone is playing the prank song.]
Holger: "Kimmie! My schlugen! Your hair looks very bucklack today." [Kimmie hangs up.]
Kimmie: [stroking Holger's chin] "Thanks, Holgey."
Holger: [offering his arm] "Come. I must escort you to class."
[Kimmie takes his arm and they walk into school.]
Camillio: [confused] "What just happened there? Was there some kind of alien like body snatcher invasion?"
Lee: [quietly, to himself] "Biffy'll kill him!"
Brandy: "She's probably just being contrary, anything not to be predictable. Anyways we're like, going to the mall later tonight, and–"
Lee: "Thanks, but I can't, I'm ground–"
Brandy: "Grounded? Thanks for the news flash. I hear we landed on the moon too. But I was talking to Camillio."
Camillio: [nervous] "Uh...uh yeah, yeah, sure, chica, th-yeah that's cool, that could be fun, okay."
Brandy: [as the Glamazons leave] "Of course it will be. Ciao ciao."
Camillio: [to Lee] "Sorry dude, she's been kinda into me lately. Uh–"
Lee: "Hey, hey, it's all right. Look. Look at me. See how much I care?" [He smiles.] "Besides, I've got a RadC to catch."

[Holger is doodling a picture of him and Kimmie on a unicorn.]
Lee: "Dude, what is with the whole–Kimmie thing? I thought you liked Greta."
Holger: "Holger liking everybody! But especially zhe Kimmie." [He giggles. The news comes on.]
Tina: "Good morning A. Nigma High students! Don't forget, the big dance is tomorrow night, and this year's theme is Save The Rainforest. Which is a pretty great theme if you ask me."
Chaz: "And I'm Chaz Monerainian, and I don't think anyone did ask, Tina. Ha. 'Cause what everyone wants to know is, who's going with the Chazster?" [pointing in random directions] "It could be you! Or you. Yeah! Or even you." [pointing at Tina] "But not you. Find out just who those lucky ladies are on–"
Lynch: "Psst!" [Lynch is waiting at the door. Lee notices and points to himself questioningly.]
Chaz: [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!"
[Lynch signals for Lee to come with him and leaves.]
Chaz: "With Chaz!"
[Lee sighs and fakes a bathroom emergency.]
Lee: "Mister Langhorne?"

[Lee and Lynch end up in the school's control center.]
Lee: "Whoa. This is where you work?"
Lynch: "Yeparoo! Just call me Mister Techie-Wechie. Actually, don't. When I say it out loud it's kinda geeky."
Lee: "Yeah. Just kinda." [Barrage's footsteps pound down the hall.] "Barrage!"
[When the principal opens the door, he finds Lynch calmly gnawing on peanuts.]
Principal General Barrage: "Gnnh. Carry on." [He leaves. Lee comes out from under the desk.]
Lynch: "Why'd you go and hide? You've got a le-git pass, don'tcha padre?"
Lee: "Yeah, I'd just rather stay out of his way right now. Long story. So what'd you wanna show me?"
Lynch: [nervous] "Well–see–I–I know about Radcircles."
Lee: [astounded] "What'd you just say?"
Lynch: "Being the gatekeeperooney, I get to see lots of things. Like emails."
Lee: [offended] "You've been reading my emails?"
Lynch: "No! No no, that would violate the I.T. code. But I have been tracking the old principal's emails, and I've seen the ones you've gotten."
Lee: "And?"
Lynch: "Seems weird he'd go missing and keep sending emails. Even weirder? He'd send them to my buddy-o Lee Ping. I've been trying to triangulate where they're coming from. I'm real close. I just need a source!"
Lee: [holding up Radcircles' phone] "How about this for a source? It's Rad's phone!"
Lynch: [enthused] "Hot diggity doo!" [Lee puts the phone on a reader, and Lynch peruses the information on his computer.] "Look at all this! Whoo-ee!"
Lee: "Gotta make a quick call."
[Lee heads over to the other side of the room. A red skull appears on the screen of Radcircles' phone.]
Biffy: [answering the phone] "Hello?" [He is in bed and his cheeks are puffy.] "Grandma?"
Lee: "Whuh, grandma? No, it's me. Lee Ping?"
Biffy: "Oh, ping-pong. I like that game. Good to hear from you. Hey, have you seen my paddle?"
Lee: "Listen, I think maybe I found–"
Mrs. Goldstein: "Bifford, no talking after having your wisdom teeth out!" [She takes the phone away and hangs it up.]
Lee: "Ugh, I guess that means he's out of commission. Great."
Lynch: [at the computer] "Great is right! We got him! In three...two..." [The phone begins smoking.]
Lee: "Oh no!" [He takes it off of the reader.] "What did you do? Ow!"
[Lee tosses the phone onto the table, and it bursts into flames. He gasps.]
Lynch: "Duck!"
[Lynch throws himself at Lee, and they fall to the floor just as the phone explodes, blowing a hole in a nearby can of Green Apple Splat.]
Lee and Lynch: "No!"
[Lynch throws his mouth under the stream of spilling Green Apple Splat while Lee picks up the fried phone.]
Lee: "Aw, man."
Lynch: [done drinking] "Look! We got him!" [He points to his computer screen.] "The emails are coming from here!" [He points to an island.]
Lee: "The Green Apple Splat factory?"

Tina: [over the intercom] "Would the following students head to Room 113b. Holger Holgaart and Kimmie McAdams."
[Lee is running through the school halls. Lynch runs behind him.]
Lynch: "Slow down! Where're we going?"
Lee: "Gotta find the guys. Without Biff, I need their help."
Lynch: "But we're a totally awesome spy team! We don't need them. L and L, together again! That stands for Lynch and Lee. Actually, Lee and Lynch if you want top billing."
[Lee runs up to Cam and Holger.]
Lee: "You dudes are never gonna believe this. Lynch found Radcircles! He's hiding out at the–"
[Holger gets a phone call.]
Holger: "Holger says hello." [The prank song begins playing. He holds the phone out to Cam and speaks robotically.] "Eez for you."
Camillio: "Yo, lay it on me!" [His pupils shrink and he speaks robotically.] "We have to go." [He walks away.]
Lee: "Guys?"
Holger: [robotically] "Me too go." [He leaves.]
Lee: "What just happened here?"
Lynch: "I'll tell ya what happened. The super awesome spy team of Lee and Lynch is back in biz! Heyeah!"

[At 6:09 PM, Mr. and Mrs. Ping get in their car and leave the house.]
Mr. Ping: "Nine years in a row I've been nominated at the Science Awards. I think tonight's finally the night I win!"
Mrs. Ping: "Not in that tie."
[Lee and Lynch emerge from a bush in the backyard and approach the house.]
Lynch: "The parental units are gone. Time for L and L the actiony duo to swing into action!"
Lee: [looking at his phone] "Man, I've been trying to reach Holger for like an hour. I wanna make sure someone knows where we're going, but he's not answering his phone! And Cam's is broken."
Lynch: [shrugging] "So what? You got me, partner." [showing Lee a map on his phone] "Now that's us, and that's Radcircles. Peanut?" [He offers Lee a bag.]
Lee: [taking one] "Why not." [He swallows it.] "Let's roll."
Lynch: [impressed] "You just said that like a real action hero! Hot diggity dog you're cool!"

[Holger's phone screen is blinking with the same red skull that was on Radcircles' phone right before it blew up. He is on a date at the mall with Kimmie.]
Holger: "And that was the first time Holger eat three dozen herrings in one sitting. Bones too!"
Kimmie: "Wow, Holgie, you must have the strongest teeth ever!"
Holger: "Holger's dentist very proud."
[Cam and the other three Glamazons walk up behind them. Brandy's phone rings, but she hangs up on it.]
Camillio: "Yo! Are you ever gonna answer that or what-what?"
Brandy: "No. I never answer blocked calls." [She walks up to Kimmie.] "Uh, hello? You're like totally crushing on a weirdo from another country. Tre uncool." [Kimmie turns to her.]
Kimmie: "You wouldn't know cool if it fell out of the sky and wiggled on your face."
[Brandy walks away. Suddenly, Kimmie begins to snap out of her trance, and she looks back to Holger and sees that he has a bunch of taco parts in his teeth.]
Kimmie: "Ew. Wait. Why would I–" [Her phone rings. When she answers, the prank song plays and her pupils shrink. She hangs up.] "Holgie, get me another taco? This one's mushy."
Holger: [getting up] "Oh, Holger no let fairest of ladies eat the most mushy taco. Holger fix!"
[Meanwhile, Brandy and Cam are by a fountain.]
Brandy: "So, Cam, you know the big dance is tomorrow, and I was thinking, we should totally go."
Camillio: "Uh, uh whoa that's uh, that's like pretty bigtimes, um, okay what about my boy, Lee Ping?"
Brandy: [irate] "Lee missed his chance! I am moving on. I am not playing second fiddle to Tina Kwee! I am so first fiddle!"
Camillio: "Uh, I'm gonna need to make like a, like a phone call first, you know, just to make sure it's all kosher with my boy." [He chuckles.] "Hold on one second." [calling] "HOLGER! I NEED YOUR PHONE!"

[Lee and Lynch have made it to the docks. Lynch is looking at the ferry schedule.]
Lynch: "Whoopsie-doosy. Didn't think ahead. There's no ferry until morning." [He hears Lee grunting and turns around to see Lee fiddling with a manhole cover.] "I forgot about that! Lee Ping, is there anything you can't do?"
Lee: "Yeah. Lift this on my own! Little help?"
[With Lynch's help, Lee is able to pry the manhole cover aside, and soon the duo is staring down a manhole. They descend into the tunnels that lead to Factory Island.]
Lynch: "Did your friends call you back yet?"
Lee: "Nope. And–ugh! It stinks down here! Like–Green Apple Splat."
Lynch: [offended] "I like that smell! And by the way, I think a lot of people do!"
Lee: "So, what was going on with you and VP Victoria this morning? She looked pretty mad."
Lynch: "Oh, that? I uh, accidentally spilled some Splat on her blouse. But I'm not sure what she was mad about. Splat makes everything better!"
[The tunnel ahead of them suddenly groans. Lee and Lynch halt.]
Lee: "Man. I got a bad feeling about this. No one even knows we're down here! Of all the times for Cam to trash his phone!"
[Suddenly, a hiss comes out of the darkness. Lynch clutches Lee as three pairs of blue eyes walk towards them. The eyes soon reveal themselves as belonging to three blue tazelwurms.]

[Lee and Lynch slowly back away from the blue tazelwurms.]
Lee: "Easy. Easy!"
[A blue tazelwurm leaps past them. Three tazelwurms begin herding Lee and Lynch forward.]
Lynch: "Hey. Are they making us go this way?"
Lee: "I don't know! This is the first time they haven't just attacked me."

[Holger is complaining to Giuseppe, who is working at the taco stand.]
Holger: "But Taco Joe, you must replace! Kimmie's taco is mushy, like the elephant cow pies."
Greta: [behind him] "Oh, hello, Holger." [Ed is with her.] "What a surprise seeing you here. You know Edward?"
Holger: [gasping] "Vy are you vith him? He is no right for you!"
Greta: "Yeah, well maybe Kimmie is no right for you."
Holger: "But I am your true love, Kimmie." [He realizes which name popped out.] "Hoo!"
Greta: "What did you call me?"
Holger: "No. No. It is you. Kimmie." [realizing] "Ay! Abitzuh, I mean, Kimmie, no no, no no Kimmie, key cue Kimmie! Ach! Oh!" [He slumps. Greta angrily stomps away.]
Ed: [swaggering] "Guess what, Holgie old pal? Tonight, I'm gonna swoop in, and ask your Greta to the dance. I bet she says H-Two-Oh-Yeah! It'll serve you right for stealing my waterboy gig."
[Ed walks away. Holger sadly slumps. Cam runs up, panicked.]
Camillio: "Yo. Holg. I need your phone, bro! Serious chica trouble!" [Holger doesn't respond.] "Holger? Holger? Hello!"
Holger: [holding out his phone] "Here. But no Furious Penguins."
Camillio: "Aw, man! It's pigeons, yo!" [taking the phone] "Penguins are even dumber than parakeets!"
[Cam places a call to Lee. Lee doesn't answer; instead, his phone flashes the same red skull symbol. He is currently climbing up a ladder with Lynch. They surface inside the factory. Lynch slips on a rung.]
Lynch: "Whauu!" [Lee grabs his arms.]
Lee: "Gotcha!"
[Lynch's wallet falls out and plops in a puddle of dirty water far below. Lee pulls Lynch out.]
Lynch: "Oh, thanks good buddy. I got your back and you've got mine. What a team! L and L. I can't wait to engrave that on something."
Lee: [looking at the manhole] "Kinda weird they fixed this ladder. Remember? It ripped off the wall when we were here before. Why would anyone fix this?"
Lynch: [nervous] "Well, they probably–oh, I know! It must be Rad! It's proof he is here! We must be real close!" [He pulls out his phone and follows the path it indicates.] "Almost there." [Rad appears right on top of them.] "Holy rackamoley! That's it! Those dastardiddly emails came from in there!"
[Lee and Lynch are outside a slightly ajar door leading to a lit room in a hallway full of doors hiding dark rooms.]
Lee: "Ssh!"
[Lee creeps forward to the door and then throws it open in one swift motion. There is nobody inside. Instead, the room is a padded cell, with a bookshelf full of chemicals against one wall and a television mounted high on another wall. Lee slowly walks into the room. Suddenly, the door slams shut behind him.]
Lee: "Huh?" [realizing] "Hey, wait! Lynch!"
Lynch: [outside] "Uh, Lee? What're you doing?"
Lee: [pulling at the doorknob] "I didn't do anything, it just closed!"
Lynch: "The tazelwurms! They're coming! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOHHHHHOOH!"
Lee: "Lynch!" [He pulls on the doorknob.] "Lynch!"
[As Lynch's scream fades, the television turns on, fizzling static. It resolves into a blurry picture of a shadowy figure.]
Radcircles: "Knock knock."
Lee: [shocked] "No way." [annoyed] "Grr. Who's there?"
Radcircles: "You didn't say who's there."
Lee: "Uh, yeah, I just did. What're you doing, psycho? Where's Lynch?"
Radcircles: "It's been a fun ride, Ping. You got close. Real close. But the fun is over. Enjoy your new home. If you get hungry or thirsty, there's plenty of Splat to go around."
[The transmission ends, and the television begins fizzling static. Lee turns back to the door.]
Lee: [banging on the door] "Hello! Hello! Anybody! Lynch? Help!" [taking out his phone] "C'mon, c'mon. Signal!" [Giving up on the phone, Lee walks away from the door only to turn back and ram his shoulder into it. He staggers back from the force of the blow and makes another attempt. Neither try leaves any impact on the unyielding metal.]

[Cam is still trying to get through to Lee.]
Lee's Voicemail: "This is Lee, leave a message." [His voicemail beeps.]
Camillio: [whispering] "Yo, ese, I keep calling but you don't pick up, man! I'm stuck between a rock and one of those rock places! I was thinking, y'know, maybe you needed some help with Tina, and I could like, I dunno, y'know, maybe take Brandy off your hands, y'know, 'cause of Tina, and all, and 'cause, maybe I like Brandy kind of a little bit maybe–" [The machine cuts him off.] "Aw man cut off I hate that so much!" [He begins redialing, but suddenly stops.] "Hmm. I wonder what games he's got on here." [He scans Holger's phone.] "No way! Disgruntled Pigeons! Holger's been holding out on a homie!" [playing] "Coo! Coo!" [He laughs.]

[Lee has taken to examining the chemicals on the shelves.]
Lee: "Polystyrene-3, Polystyrene-4? Turtle eggs, worm intestines? Man, Splat water is weird." [getting an idea] "Wait a sec. Polystyrene-4?" [pulling other jars off of the shelves] "Corn starch, mock gelatin–huh. According to the laws of chemistry, this stuff doesn't mix well!"
[Lee begins pouring various liquids into a bucket. A small explosion occurs.]
Lee: [laughing] "Advanced chemistry totally works in real life!"
[Lee takes the mixture and pours it over the door's latch. The liquid melts the lock, and Lee kicks the door open.]
Lee: [stepping out] "Lynch! You okay buddy?" [He hears a loud hiss.] "Gah!"
[Lee takes off running down the hall as blue tazelwurms chase him. He falls into the manhole, but acts quickly to grab onto the ladder and slides down it to the bottom. He plops into a puddle of dirty water, and when he surfaces, he spots a lost wallet.]
Lee: "Lynch's wallet? At least he made it this far!"
[Lee hears hissing and looks up. The blue tazelwurms are on the hunt again. He takes off once more and makes his way into the cleaner metallic tunnels. There, he comes upon another tazelwurm: the Red Tazelwurm. The Red Tazelwurm slithers over to confront the blue ones, and nods at Lee. Lee returns the nod and continues running.]

[Cam and Holger are looking into a bag store.]
Camillio: "Man, I can't believe Lee won't call me back. Is he ignoring me? Or maybe you. It's your phone." [He hands it over.]
Holger: [gasping] "What happened to phone?"
Camillio: "Oh, yeah, that uh, it fell. Bunch of pigeons. Anyways I got bigger problems homes! What am I gonna do about Brandy?"
Holger: "That is Holger's problem to. Vut to do about Kimmie. Ohoo I mean Greta!"
Camillio: "Maybe I should buy her flowers."
Holger: "Yes! Greta love flowers. Pink ones!"
Camillio: "Yeah totally Brandy's big on pink. And chocolate."
Holger: "Yes! Chocolate for Greta, will make Ed jealous."
Camillio: "Nah, Lee won't be jealous, he's cool."
Holger: "Yes, Greta is very cool! Like freezer." [sad] "Oh, oh, why must I have feeling for Kimmie when all I want is my Greta?!?" [He bursts into tears. Suddenly, he hears somebody laughing, and spots Ed with Greta.] "No! No-ho-ho! I cannot take zis! I must have my Greta!" [His phone rings as he runs after Greta.]
Camillio: "Wait, dude, your phone! It might be Lee!"
[Holger tosses the phone back to Cam. Cam answers it, and the prank song plays in his ear. His pupils shrink.]
Camillio: [hanging up] "Huh. Okay. It's settled. I'm going to the dance with Kimmie."

[Lee is on his phone as he rides a streetcar. Unfortunately, he is getting nothing but dial tones.]
Lee: [frustrated] "Why is no one answering their phone?" [He looks at the wallet and sees a driver's license for an old man.] "He's carrying his dad's wallet?" [looking at it] "Same name. I guess he's a junior. Born in nineteen thirty-four." [He looks at the old man again.] "Huh. Wow do they ever look alike. Oh and here's his address! And–" [turning to another part of the wallet] "Huh?" [He pulls out a card.] "So that's why Lynch is so gaga for Splat!" [The card reads "Green Apple Splat Inc.: CEO: Lynch Webber".] "His dad owns the company. Okay. I guess my next stop is–" [looking at Lynch's address] "Beavertail Drive. I just hope Lynch made it home."

[Lee walks up to Lynch's home.]
Lee: "Seventy-six Beavertail Drive. Here it is!"
[The house is a dark, foreboding Victorian.]
Lee: "Wow."
[Lee sees headlights approaching. Behind them is a familiar car carrying a familiar cyborg. Lee gasps and ducks behind a concrete barrier to the stairs.]
Lee: [shocked] "Barrage is here? Either Lynch is in serious trouble–" [scared] "–or I am."

[The principal parks against the curb, gets out of his car, and walks towards the house. Before crossing the property line, he taps a button on his metal foot. Suddenly, his movements are much quieter as he walks up to the door.]
Lee: [shocked] "Whoa! Barrage has got stealth mode?"
[Barrage's robotic hand opens up and a drill comes out. The principal uses the drill to remove the doorknob, and then easily pushes his way through the now unlocked door.]
Lee: "Okay Lee think fast. If Barrage sees you you're totally busted. But what if Lynch is in there? What if Barrage is gonna kidnap him?" [shaking his head] "Ugh, stupid conscience!"

[Lee moves slowly and stealthily through the house, making sure that every room is clear before he enters it.]
Lee: [softly] "Lynch!" [He sneaks into the living room.] "Yo, ya here?"
[Lynch's living room is decorated with Green Apple Splat memorabilia. Suddenly, Lee hears the principal upstairs.]
Lee: "This is a really bad idea."
[Lee goes up the steps. He peers into the first room and sees the principal going through a bunch of files. He then moves on to the next room: a bedroom.]
Lee: [whispering] "Psst! Anyone here? Hello?"
[Lee enters the room and steps on some discarded peanut shells. He picks one up and examines it, but then hears Barrage moving. Lee shuts the door to the room and dives under the bed. Barrage approaches the door and then opens it. Seeing nobody, he decides to scan the room with his cyborg eye. Lee shrinks back out of the range of the scanner, and Barrage doesn't spot him. Curiosity satisfied, the general eases the door shut again and leaves. Lee gets up and dusts himself off.]
Lee: [relieved] "Phew." [softly] "Man." [He is looking at the computer.] "Lynch has some pretty hi-tech chat equipment."
[Lee clicks play on a video window that was left open on the computer screen.]
Recorded Lynch: "Knock knock!" [after a beat] "You didn't say who's there!"
Lee: "What?" [He picks up a device, and a shocked look comes to his face.] "A voice modifier?"
[Lee gasps and his eyes widen. He remembers several times where the shadowy figure appeared–but now, he has a face to put to the figure.]
Memory Lee: "I got your phone!"
[Lee also remembers several times where Lynch acted like he wanted to be Lee's friend but was secretly sabotaging him.]
Lee: [astounded] "Lynch is Radcircles!"
[Spotting something, Lee picks up the desk lamp and shines it on the bulletin board above Lynch's computer. Pinned, taped, and glued to the board are several pieces of paper, all with the same two words written on them: "KNOCK KNOCK".]
Lee: [flabbergasted] "No way!"

[Greta and Ed are sharing ice cream by a fountain. Holger spies on them from behind a bush.]
Holger: "No more! Holger's stomach is kafloofashoop!" [picking up the plant] "Greta is my girl!" [He runs up to them.] "Oh, Greta, vill you do me the honor, of being my zirklant to ze dance?"
Greta: "Your what?"
Holger: "Holger's zir-klant? Maybe I was no clear. Pleeeaasssee?"
[Holger holds out the plant to her. Greta gives her ice cream to Ed and goes to sit by the European.]
Holger: "Honey Roasted, vill you be mine?"
Greta: "Oh, Jorf Borf, I've waited a fortnight to hear you say that. Yes!" [casting the plant aside] "Of course!" [She leaps into Holger's arms.]
Ed: "What? But I was literally just about to ask her that!"
Holger: "Sorry Eddy baby. You snooze, you fall asleep and vait till morning."
[Ed angrily storms away, tossing the ice creams into the fountain.]
Holger: "Oh Greta, I am so happyhosen!" [He giggles.]
Greta: "Don't be." [leaping out of Holger's arms] "He was creeping me out, and I only said yes to you 'cause I knew he was about to ask."
Holger: [meekly] "So, you are not to be going with Holger, to be my zirklant?"
Greta: "No way Barf Narf. You ditched me for some ditzy Glamazon!"
[Greta walks away. Holger trembles, about to cry.]

[Brandy and Kimmie are sipping drinks at a table in the food court. Cam stiffly walks up.]
Brandy: "Oh, hey Cam. Can we finally get back to our conversation?"
Camillio: "So Kimmie, mi chica, I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, go to the dance with me? You can be the First Lady of A. Nigma High!"
Kimmie: "Ugh. LOL. As if."
Brandy: "Yeah. And besides. She likes Biffy!"
Kimmie: [defensive] "No I don't. That's crazy talk. I for sure don't like Biffy." [Brandy looks at her, not buying it.] "I like...Cam. Me. You. Dance. It's on."
[Brandy angrily gets up from the table and runs away.]
Kimmie: [taking Cam's arm] "Lead the way Mister President."
Camillio: "Sweet! Any chance El Presidente's new girl likes Disgruntled Pigeons? 'Cause you gotta see my moves!"
Kimmie: "Uch, you're doing it all wrong! Go there–no, there! Uch! Let me do it!"
[Cam and Kimmie have a tugging match over the phone that ends when the phone flies into the air and lands in the fountain.]
Camillio: "Aw, man. Another Disgruntled Pigeons casualty. Holg's gonna kill me!"

[Lee is staring at the bulletin board when he hears a noise from downstairs.]
Principal General Barrage: "Ah ha! You're downstairs!"
[The principal goes downstairs to find Lynch. Lee follows from a safe distance. When a noise is heard in the kitchen, Barrage goes to investigate it, while Lee slips out the door. By 9:31, he's back home and sneaking in through the window. As soon as he shuts it, his bedroom door opens.]
Mr. Ping: [holding a trophy] "Who's the man!" [He laughs.]
Lee: [nervous] "You won? Awesome."
Mr. Ping: "Was there ever any doubt? Okay don't answer that." [Lee fakes a laugh.] "Sweet dreams buddy."
[Lee's father shuts the door, and Lee breathes a sigh of relief. A video chat window opens on his computer.]
Camillio: "Yo! Lee!"
Lee: "Dude, where ya been? I've been trying to call you all night."
Camillio: "I was just about to say the same thing to you! Didn't you get any of my messages?"
Lee: [looking at his phone] "What messages? My phone hasn't rung! But get this: Lynch. Is. Radcircles!"
Camillio: [high-pitched] "Whaaat!" [normally] "That nerdy nerd? No way!"
Lee: "Way! And I think he's been working with Barrage."
Camillio: [high-pitched] "Whaaat?!?" [normally] "We gotta like stop them right away, pronto-styles!"
Mrs. Ping: [opening Lee's bedroom door] "Lights out! Say goodnight." [She turns off his lights.]
Lee: "Gotta go. Night!" [He turns off his computer.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: Okay Rad. I finally know who you are. And tomorrow at school, you are going down.