Detentionaire Wiki

[Camillio Esmereldo Martinez is in his basement, playing video games.]
Camillio: "Yo. Cam here. Like so, my ese ascenso amigo Lee Ping totally got blamed for this pranko el grande–dude's innocent, man. But he still got like a full year of detention! Hea-vy. But like, on the upside, I'm now the school president, oh yeaaah! That means I can do like whatever I want, man." [pausing the game] "So Lee's been trying to figure out who framed him? Turns out it's this hombre named Radcircles." [Radcircles is shown appearing in various settings.] "Dude's always hiding in shadows and generally being mucho annoying, and he totally brainwashed me!" [Pictures of Cam acting like a monkey appear.] "Yeah, I know. Me! Who could brainwash alla this? So like ever since, me and my boy have been trying to take down the dude."
Mrs. Martinez: [offscreen] "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez! Stop playing around and finish your homework!"
Camillio: [annoyed] "Yeah okay Mom!" [happy] "Oh yeah uh, did I mention I'm school president?"

12:45:07 PM

Lee: "This detention thing's been quite the ride. But it ends today, 'cause I've got Radcircles in my sights! And nothing can stop me!"
[Lee is chasing a shadowy figure through the halls. After rounding a corner, the figure hits something and falls.]
Radcircles: "Oof!"
Lee: [smiling] "Now I've got him."

Earlier that day...11:59:40 AM

[Lee and his two best friends are sitting in class. Their hands are posed over their watches.]
Lee: "Everyone ready for Operation: Sloppy Joe Thursday? Watches synced?"
Camillio: "Eleven fifty-nine, ten seconds to go bro."
Holger: "My watch run on home country time. Is twenty-eight hours day there. So it is eleventeen ninety thirty-five."
Lee: [chuckling] "Okay, just, focus and help me secure a sandwich before I have to be in detention."
[The lunch bell rings.]
Lee: "And go!"
[As one, the three friends bolt out of Mr. Langhorne's class.]
Camillio: [running] "We got your back, amigo!"
Holger: [running backwards] "And me got your front, abingo." [He runs into an open locker door.]
[The group stops. Holger rubs his head as Barrage is heard approaching.]
Holger: [scared] "We have cyborg principal at twelveteen o'clock!"
Lee: [hiding behind them] "Okay Team Beef Thief! Do your thing."
[Lee flashes them a thumbs-up and runs the other direction. Cam intercepts the principal.]
Camillio: "Señor Principal Barrage. As like school prez, I wanna personally hand you this like uh, Principal of the Week Award, bro!" [He hands the principal a pack of chewing gum he found in his pocket.]
Principal General Barrage: [confused] "A pack of chewing gum?"
Camillio: "Well yeah but the logo has like a blue award ribbon on it see so that counts, right?"
[Meanwhile, Lee and Holger are running together. The Eyebot appears ahead of them, and Lee signals Holger to do his part while he hides behind a bank of lockers.]
Holger: "Goodfluhfenbye." [He gets in front of the robot.] "Oh! Hello, Mister Floating Eye! Want some half-eaten glukenhammer cookie?" [The Eyebot tries to avoid him to no avail.] "Very delicious making!"
[The Eyebot begins to follow the cookie as Holger moves it around. Eventually, Holger holds it way out to the left, and the Eyebot slams into the wall when it attempts to follow and collapses to the floor. Lee takes the opportunity to start running again.]
Tina: [over the intercom] "Would the following students report to Room 113b. Holger Holgaart and Kimmie McAdams."
[Upon hearing his name mentioned, Holger's smile drops from his face.]
Lee: "Almost there!" [He spots a pair of janitors spraying the hall down with Green Apple Splat.] "Apple Splat? You gotta be–" [He hits the muck and begins sliding.] "–whaaaahh! Whoa!"
[Lee slides through the muck without getting into any accidents, enters the cafeteria while still sliding due to his shoes being lubricated with the soda, and skids to a stop right at the front of the lunch line.]
Lee: "Made it! One sloppy J please."
[The lunch lady gives him his food. Lee licks his lips and is about to bite into it when a robotic hand comes to rest on his shoulder.]
Principal General Barrage: "Ping?" [Lee drops his sandwich.]
Lee: "Gah! No-ho-ho! So close." [He begins walking to detention.]
Principal General Barrage: "Where are you off to, private?"
Lee: [worried] "Um...detention?"
Principal General Barrage: "Someone confessed to the prank! You're out. They're in!"
Lee: [surprised] "What?"
[A news report comes on.]
Chaz: "This is Chaz Monerainian. With news so breaking, it's broken! Lee Ping, fraud? He just might be. 'Cause someone else has confessed to the big prank. And no, I'm not kidding. Did Lee Ping lie? Who confessed. Can you feel the excitement A. Nigma High? I can! And with an update on this brain quaking mind aching news story, we go to Tina Kwee, live, as they escort the real prankster to detention."
[A large crowd has gathered to see the real prankster.]
Tina: "Thanks, Chaz. Everyone here is super excited to learn who the real prankster is." [The prisoner is being escorted by two cleaners and the vice principal.] "VP Victoria is escorting the person in now, and it's–my little sister?!?!?"
[The prankster is indeed Tina's little sister.]
Chaz: "This just in: the prankster's been revealed to be Ruby Kwee. Tina Kwee's genius eleven-year-old sister a whole grade above her. Tina, as the older, less smart sister, be a sport and interview yourself, so we can get the family's reaction."
[Tina is still not able to process this new information. From the looks of things, Lee is having trouble as well.]
Lee: [confused] "Ruby? Radcircles? Really? But–"
[Lee begins running, needing to find somebody to explain this to him. When he reaches the main hall, boos start cascading down on him.]
Random Girl: [offscreen] "Hiss!"
Other Random Girl: [offscreen] "Poser!"
Goob: "Fraud!"
Trevor: "Boo!"
Camillio: [meeting Lee] "Ohnkay, here's the sitch bro. There's some bad stink on you man. And that means that that stink is on us, too. I can't be an unpopular president, man. Wait. Ruby's Radcircles?!? She's brainwashed me and stuff?"
Brandy: [arriving at the scene] "Leaping! How could you lie to me?"
Lee: "I–never lied about anything."
Brandy: [turning away] "Well, maybe you did, and maybe you didn't, I don't have time to listen to everything you say. Either way, we are not talking today." [She leaves.]
Holger: [running up] "Lee!" [He has brought a sandwich.] "Holger got Lee a Sloppy Joseph! See? Extra sloppy."
[Lee takes the sandwich and is about to take a bite when he is distracted.]
Tina: "LEE PIIIING!!!"
[The sudden noise causes Lee to drop his sandwich.]
Lee: "No! Another joe down?"
Tina: [furious] "Did you put her up to this? How could you let my baby sister take the blame for your prank!"
[Lee takes her wrist and leads her a little bit away.]
Lee: "Okay, it's the truth, seriously, there's this guy, Radcircles. Actually he might be a girl."
Tina: "Uch!" [She grabs Lee's wrist and drags him away.]
Lee: "Where're we going?"
Tina: [upset] "To Barrage. You are telling him you set my sister up!"

[Detention has become awkward for Biffy now that he's sharing it with a little girl. They sit in silence, eating their sandwiches.]
Biffy: "So what's between the bread, mini-loaf?"
Ruby: "PB&J."
Biffy: "Egg salad." [after a pause] "Tradsies?"
[Ruby and Biffy swap sandwiches.]

[Tina and Lee have arrived in the principal's office just as he was about to dig in to his lunch: a gigantic hoagie.]
Principal General Barrage: "Never get between a military man and a submarine. Especially at lunchtime."
Tina: [growing more and more irate] "I want to know why my sister is in detention, while Lee gets to roam free in the halls, dripping sloppy joe sauce wherever he wants!"
Principal General Barrage: "I'd like nothing better, than to send Ping back to detention, for so long, he'd be tripping on his beard when he left. But that cute little mushroomhead did it." [He throws an overstuffed file folder on the desk.] "And she gave me enough evidence to keep her in detention allllllllll year." [Tina reaches for the file.] "Access, denied! This file is rated classified!" [He stuffs the file into a filing cabinet.] "Deal with it!" [softly] "Your sister, is a rotten egg." [slamming the file cabinet] "And I'm hungry! De-smissed!"
[Without further ado, Lee and Tina are back out in the halls. Tina is leading Lee again.]
Tina: "Busting my sister for your prank. Pretty low, Lee. I don't know what's going on, but you can count on me getting to the bottom of it."
Lee: "But–I can explain!"
Tina: "Butnothing! I'm a reporter. And the truth, can't hide for long." [smiling] "Wow. That was pretty good." [angry again] "Guh!"
[Tina walks away from Lee. Lee's friends walk up to him.]
Camillio: "Aw, aw dude our coolness has like officially dropped two bathroom levels!"
Holger: "Ja! Soon have to go pee-pee in bushes like squirrels!"
Camillio: "This is getting out of control! Everybody is looking at us, and not in the 'Hey, check out how cool and handsome that Camillio is' kinda way!" [to the crowd] "Uh, uh okay, uh, uh that's it! As your prez, I order you to avert your eyes from us, and, an-an-an-an-and look at this!"
Holger: [dancing] "Mmm mm mmm mm dah dah de doot doo ha ha ha ha hmm hmm ha hmm hmm."
[Lee runs.]
Camillio: "Hey dude, where you going?"
Lee: "To get some answers from Ruby!" [His phone beeps with the Radcircles tone.] "Radcircles?" [reading the message] "Well Mister Ping, it seems our game is up, now that you know who I am. Fun playing with you. We'll always have our knock-knocks." [annoyed] "Okay Ruby, time to talk."
[Lee runs towards detention.]

[Biffy and Ruby are playing chess when Lee pushes the door open.]
Lee: "So, Ruby Kwee. That was a cute email you just sent."
Ruby: [distracted] "Kinda in the middle of something." [She moves a piece.]
Biffy: "Yeah, do ya mind? I'm being beaten at chess by an eight-year-old."
Ruby: "I'm eleven."
Biffy: "Whatever." [spying an opening] "Ha ha, yeah! Now I–"
Ruby: [moving a piece] "Checkmate."
Biffy: [growling] "Uuuurf! Again."
Lee: "Don't play smart with me, Radcircles. Why set me up? And seriously, knock-knock jokes?"
Ruby: "Look. Sorry. I didn't mean for you to get blamed."
Lee: "Really. Then why set me up?!?"
Ruby: [uncertainly] "Seemed...funny?" [She shrugs.]
Biffy: "It was sorta funny. Hey, your move."
Lee: "Funny? My life isn't some game you can play. Why me? Why brainwash Cam? How'd you pull all this off?"
Ruby: [nervous] "I just–did, okay?" [She runs out of her seat and heads for the back of the class.] "Leave me alone already! I don't have to tell you anything!" [She plops down on the floor and hugs her knees to her chest.]
Biffy: "Dude. You seriously think she's a criminal mastermind? She's just a little kid." [whispering] "And you totally ruined our game. I was actually gonna win that one!"
Lee: [whispering] "But it could all just be another one of her Radcircles games!"
Biffy: "Nah, I don't buy it. You'd have to find out what she told Barrage to be sure."
Lee: "Yeah, I–do kinda hafta know what she told him. Oh, and uh–" [He moves a chess piece.] "Checkmate."
Biffy: "What? Oh!"
[Lee backs out of the room.]

[Tina is walking down the hall, talking into a tape recorder.]
Tina: "So, did my sister really pull off this prank or is she being set up? Maybe the students of Ruby's gifted class will have some answers." [She opens the door to the class.]
Grayson: "Alert! Alert! The Brain Zone has been breached by someone of average to possibly low intelligence."
Tina: "Hey guys. Tina Kwee."
Tech Nerd: "From the news. Ruby's older yet somehow less intelligent sister."
Irwin: "And her parents are both geniuses. Huh. Must've skipped a generation."
Nadene: "Girl, lemme hypothesize. If this is about your sister, please, there is no way she would've done it."
Irwin: "Although admittedly, for the last eight point three days, she hasn't really been herself."
Nadine: "Yeah. She totally failed all those quantum string theory quizzes."
Tina: [to herself] "But that's her favorite subject! Hmm..."

[Lee meets up with his friends in the cafeteria.]
Camillio: "Bro, figure anything out yet?"
Lee: "I can't tell right now. Maybe she's Radcircles, criminal mastermind supreme, maybe she's another patsy." [He raises his sloppy joe to his lips.]
Camillio: "Yo. Dude. That chiquita maybe messed with my mind! We gotta find out. There's gotta be like, a way."
Lee: "Way ahead of ya. There is one way."
Holger: [excited] "Change to superspy funtime mode?"
Lee: "Yeah. 'Cause if we can get the file that explains to Barrage how she did it, we can see if it all adds up. Which means breaking into the most heavily guarded room in the school, if not the universe." [Lee thinks about the defenses.] "We'll need Fizzy Rox, a shaving cream can, and the acidy powers of Green Apple Splat."
Camillio: "Whatever we gotta do El Presidente is in!"
Zed: "Sup, Ping!" [He skates into Lee's sandwich.]
Lee: "No!"
Zed: "Totally clutch!" [He skates off.]
Lee: "So not my day."

[The principal is examining himself in a mirror. Suddenly, he hears an alarm go off.]
Principal General Barrage: "Someone messing with my vehicle?" [He checks. Jorf Borf is indeed messing with his vehicle.] "HEADS'LL ROLL!"
[The principal sprints out of his office. Lee and Cam, who have been waiting for this moment, scramble into the office and pull the door shut behind them. Inside, Cam takes stuff out of his backpack.]
Camillio: "Shaving cream can." [Lee takes it.] "Splat." [Lee pours the soda into the can.] "Fizz Rox." [The rocks are dropped into the Splat.] "Handsome autographed picture of Cam–he-he-he-he-hey, how did that get in there?"
[Lee uses the spray device on the can to spray the mixture onto the lock for the file cabinet.]
Camillio: "Oh Green Apple Splat, is there anything you can not do?"
Lee: "Yeah. Taste good."
[Meanwhile, in the parking lot, Holger sees the principal approaching and runs away.]
Principal General Barrage: [petting his vehicle] "Did the filthy little troll student hurt you, snoogums?" [getting in] "Let's make sure. Lemme hear you purr!"
[The general starts the car. Popcorn begins to pour out of the heating vents.]
Principal General Barrage: [happy] "Fresh popcorn! My favorite!" [He begins eating.]

[Tina is by a shut classroom door.]
Tina: [into her tape recorder] "My investigation has led me to Ruby's favorite teacher to find out about these low test scores." [The door opens and a man steps out.] "Mister Rousseau? Tina Kwee, school news."
Mr. Rousseau: [in a heavy French accent] "Eet's such a shame, what happened to your seester. I hope zis doesn't hurt her chances."
Tina: "Hurt her chances? At what?"
Mr. Rousseau: "I didn't uhwant to excite the family, but I recommended Ruby to a very prest-igi-us uni-versy-tee. Now, eef you don't mind." [He walks away from Tina. The principal runs in the other direction.]
Principal General Barrage: "Papa Barrage needs more salt for his popcorn!"

[Lee and Cam are still in the principal's office.]
Camillio: [sitting in the desk chair] "Woo-hoo-hoo! Find anything bro?"
Lee: [looking through the file] "Man this is complicated! Whoa, look. A diagram of the whole setup!"
[Barrage's footsteps can be heard approaching.]
Lee and Camillio: "Barrage!" [whispering] "Hide!"
[Barrage enters the room and goes over to the desk. Lee and Cam are hidden behind pipes in an upper corner of the room.]
Principal General Barrage: [searching] "Where's my special sea salt?" [finding it] "Ah-ha! I'm coming back for you, popcorn!" [He leaves the room. Lee and Cam drop down, and the file spills onto the floor. Lee looks at the diagram that landed in front of him.]
Lee: "One wire went to the paint cans, one to the lights, one to the stink bombs...all wires lead here." [He indicates a central connection.] "A receiver? In the rafters? One push of a button and it all goes off."
Camillio: [impressed] "All that chaos at the push of a button? Sign me up bro!"

[Hazmat-suited cleaners are in the gym, cleaning up leftovers from the prank.]
Camillio: [dismayed] "Yo! Barrage beat us to it!"
Lee: "They're tearing all the leftover gear down! We gotta get to the rafters before they do. Cam, we need a–"
Camillio: "Whoa, time out. You're not about to say that we need a distraction, are you?" [Lee laughs nervously.] "Ohnkay fine, but you totally owe me." [Lee nods happily.]

[Three cleaners are hard at work in the rafters when their attention is grabbed by someone short and loud.]
Camillio: "Yo whaddup eses!" [He is in the rafters with the janitors. One of them points at a sign banning students from entry.] "Yeah, I know, but I totally have to show you this man. Check it." [dancing] "Bowmp, boom bowmp, boom bowmp boom bowmp, boom bowmp. Beedy beedy beedy bowmp, boom bowmp, boom bo–" [One of them lunges at him and he evades it.] "Okay so you don't like that? No problema how's this." [He evades another cleaner.] "You're feeling this, right? Untz untz untz untz–" [The last hazmat leaps at him, and he steps aside, evading its grasp. Cam laughs and runs for it, and the hazmats give chase. As soon as they leave the rafters, Lee gets on them.]
Lee: "Wires. Just like the plan said." [The wires lead to a covered cube. He whips part of the cover aside.] "Found it!" [There is a code reading 1776 on the trigger.] "One seven seven six. Is that a password?" [He takes a picture.]

[Meanwhile, in detention, Ruby is sulking.]
Biffy: "So uh, do you like kitties?"
Ruby: [unamused] "What, you think 'cause I'm eleven I go all mushy for little kitty–" [Biffy holds his cat out to her, and she suddenly becomes excited.] "Oh I loves the little kitty so cute so pretty so cute!" [She nuzzles the cat. Biffy's phone beeps, and he answers.]
Lee: "I sent you a picture. See what you can find out for me." [Biffy opens his laptop.] "Just make sure Ruby doesn't see it."
Ruby: "Who's a good kitty? Who? Who?"
Biffy: [to Lee] "Looks like it's called the GHZ-1000. Receiver. Operated by remote."
Lee: "So someone presses a button somewhere else and this thing starts the prank?"
Biffy: "Look at you tech boy. Yeah, it says here it comes with a transmitter. But you can sync it up to your phone and activate it with a four-digit code."
Ruby: [hugging Mrs. Rumplekittykat tightly] "Who's a snuggle monster? Who?"
Biffy: "Oh hey! You might wanna, I dunno, ease up?" [Ruby continues hugging the cat.]
Lee: "One seven seven six. Is there any way to find out who has the transmitter?"
[A yowl prevents Biffy from replying. Mrs. Rumplekittykat runs out of the room.]
Ruby: [chasing her] "Kitty! Come back!"
Biffy: "No, wait!" [to Lee] "Uh, should be a button on the side." [calling after Ruby] "You know, you're really not supposed to leave! That's why it's called detention!" [to himself] "Fft. Some genius." [to Lee] "Uh, pressing it will make the transmitter beep, wherever it is."
Lee: "Like a lost cordless phone! Thanks."
[Lee hangs up. Meanwhile, Cam is still being chased by the hazmats. He gets a call from Lee.]
Camillio: [answering] "Man! I so hate you right now!"
Lee: "I'm gonna need you to hate me some more. Don't let 'em lose ya. Okay?" [He hangs up.]
Camillio: "Dude! If I could lose them, I would! Hello?" [angry] "Why do you always dothattome!"

[Lee is in the lunchroom again when Biffy's cat leaps through the cafeteria.]
Lee: "Gah!"
Giuseppe: [bored] "A cat?"
Irwin: [scared] "Geeyahgool! I'm allergic!"
Chaz: [in line with Stepak] "Cat infiltrates the caf! Details at eleven." [grabbing Stepak and running off] "C'mon Step-chak. We got a story to break!"
Lee: [tapping his earpiece] "Holger. It looks like most people are here. You ready button boy?"
Holger: [standing by the receiver] "Holger is born ready. Holger love button and zis one red! So pretty."
Lee: "Okay. Press away anytime."
[Holger pushes the button, and a beeping noise comes from the phone of a shadowy figure. The figure takes off, nothing but a blur as it zooms out of the cafeteria. It's at that moment that the lunch lady offers Lee a sloppy joe.]
Lee: "Aw, man!"
[Lee refuses the sandwich and runs out of the cafeteria after the source of the beeping.]
Lee: [stopping] "Okay Holger, press it again!"
[Holger presses the button again. On cue, the beeping is heard. Lee runs through the hallways in search of the culprit.]
Lee: [chasing Radcircles] "Come back!" [He turns a circle and runs into a military man's chest.] "Oof." [realizing who it is] "Gah! I can explain!"
Principal General Barrage: [cheerful] "Explain what?" [He munches on his popcorn happily.]
Lee: [slipping around him] "Oh. Right. Sorry, this whole 'no detention' thing has me confused." [He runs.]
Principal General Barrage: "Slow down!"
[Meanwhile, Cam runs down a stairwell. He pauses.]
Camillio: [huffing] "Man! I gotta do more gym! Or eat less dumplings."
[He hears the cleaners approach and takes off again. Meanwhile, Lee is still engaged in his own pursuit.]
Camillio: [pushing open a door] "Aah!"
[Cam runs down a hall, not looking where he's going, and slams into Radcircles, sending the culprit's phone skittering onto the floor. Lee skids to a stop by them but gets run into by the chasing cleaners. When Lee finally disentangles himself, the owner of the beeping phone is long gone. Cam gets up, dusts himself off, and realizes that the hazmats have done the same and are looking at him.]
Camillio: [running down the hall] "I! Hate! You! Lee!"
Lee: [picking up the still-beeping phone] "I got it!" [calling] "Ya hear that, Radcircles? I got your phone!"

[Tina walks up to a bank of lockers.]
Tina: [whispering] "This one's Ruby's. I really shouldn't do this, but I really need the truth." [twisting the knob] "What's her combo? Hmm..." [The lock comes loose.] "Ha! Patsy For Hire's lead singer's birthday. Huh. Some genius." [into her tape recorder] "Investigation subject: bratty little sister. Contents of locker: books filed by binary code, calendar for the school year–huh, that's odd." [She traces three days that have frowny face stickers placed on them.] "And what's this?" [She grabs an envelope tucked between two books.] "An opened letter. With foreign postage? Dated nine days ago." [mumbling as she reads] "Ver view na nein da hair–" [She gasps.]

[Cam is still on the run. Suddenly, he skids to a stop and signals for the cleaners to halt. They do.]
Camillio: "Okay! Listen up! You chasing freaks! I'm school president, okay? I order you to stop! Yo comprende?"
[The cleaners look at each other and then lunge at Cam. He ducks out of the way and starts running again.]
Camillio: "Dah!" [to himself] "Gross, I'm totally bringing this up at the next council meeting."

[Lee is still excited about his find.]
Lee: "Radcircles' phone! And it's all mine!" [He calls his friend.] "Holg. I'm gonna do something. Tell me if anything happens."
Holger: "Aye aye!"
Lee: [typing a number into the phone] "One seven seven six. Let's see..." [The phone begins to emit a rhythmic buzzing.] "Wait. I know that sound." [He recalls where he heard it.] "Radcircles was behind me using this in the bathroom stall the day of the prank!"
[Meanwhile, in the auditorium, the receiver lights up.]
Holger: [describing what's happening] "Machine make a beepy, and–"
[Holger gasps and stops. The empty paint cans in the rafters turn upside down, and the sprinkler system goes off. The prank song then begins to play.]
Holger: [happy] "Oh Lee! It is kafloofery!"
Lee: "So it does work! Then Ruby is Radcircles and I got 'er!"
[Lee stops, realizing he's forgotten something. He pops his head into the cafeteria.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: And I will face her with a sloppy joe in my hand!

[Lee has his sloppy joe and his heading to detention when he bumps into Tina at the door. He drops his sandwich.]
Lee: "Aw, man!"
Tina: "You, GUH!"
Lee: [meekly] "Sorry. Could I just–" [He reaches for the doorknob.]
Tina: [upset] "What're you doing here?"
Lee: "I wanna talk to your sister."
Tina: "No, stay away, I'm talking to her."
Lee: "Hey, let's both talk to her."
[Lee reaches for the doorknob. Tina grabs at it to stop him, and the two wrestle over it until the door opens and they ungracefully fall into the room. Biffy and Ruby look up from their chess game, and Biffy's cat sees the dropped sandwich and runs over to it.]
Biffy: "No, Rumple K. Spicy food gives you gas." [to Ruby] "And trust me, you don't want that."
[Ruby giggles.]
Tina: "I know you didn't do the prank."
Lee: [simultaneously] "I know you did the prank."
Tina: "Huh?"
Lee: "That's right, don't be fooled by those puppy dog eyes and smooshy face, that little genius is evil."
Tina: [angry] "Ugh, don't call my sister evil!" [normally] "Ruby, I know why you pretended to do this, and I understand."
Lee: "Nope, she's Radcircles. She did the prank and I have the proof." [He slams the phone down onto the chessboard, wrecking the game.] "Whoops. Sorry."
Ruby: "Some phone?"
Lee: "Ha! Try your phone. Admit it, you just snuck out of detention. I was just chasing you."
Tina: [angry] "You. Chased. My sister. Are you a madman?!?"
Lee: "Biffy, did she leave today?"
Biffy: "Yeah, just to get the cat."
[The cat, full of sloppy joe, poots.]
Biffy: "Aw, Rumple K, that's disgusting!"
Lee: [to Ruby] "Ha, so you did leave!"
[The cat toots again, and Lee blanches.]
Lee: "Seriously, that smell is horrible." [to Ruby] "This is your phone. And it sends a signal to a remote in the rafters. That's how you triggered the entire prank."
Tina: "You mean that's how you did the prank. C'mon, Ruby, tell him about the prank."
[The cat farts again, and Tina gags.]
Ruby: "I don't know what you mean."
Tina: "I have the letter." [She holds it out.]
Lee: "Admit you did the prank!"
[The cat lets out another blast.]
Tina: "No, admit why you said you did it!"
[Mrs. Rumplekittykat sounds the foghorn.]
Ruby: "Fine!" [holding her nose] "But only 'cause I can't stand the smell anymore! I got that letter saying I had early acceptance to some fancy university. But I don't wanna go!" [taking Biffy's king] "And, checkmate."
Biffy: [growling] "GGRRRRRGH! Again."
Tina: "A letter you didn't show Mom or Dad."
Ruby: "If I showed them they'd make me go."
Tina: "So knowing this university would never take a detentionaire, you set yourself up with the report."
Lee: "No, no, she did it. She's guilty."
Tina: "I'm amazed at you, so ready to accuse my sister of this. Well check this out." [She holds up the calendar from Ruby's locker.] "It's her calendar, and these sad faces show that Ruby wasn't even at school the first couple of days. She was home with the chickenpox."
Ruby: "It's true. And it's so itchy."
Lee: "Wait. How'd you figure out the whole electronic part?"
Ruby: "I checked out the area, found the receiver, kinda made up the rest."
Tina: "C'mon, Ruby. You're telling Barrage the truth. Leave Mom and Dad to me."
Ruby: [waving] "Nice hanging out. Smell you later."
Biffy: "Ha ha ha. It was the cat? And I still want a rematch." [to Lee] "Guess I'll be seeing your sorry face again after school."
Lee: "Yep. And you were totally right about Ruby, I guess."
Biffy: "Am I ever wrong?"
Lee: [checking the time] "Ooh! The caf is open for two more minutes!" [He moves a piece on the chessboard.] "Checkmate."
Biffy: "DEERRAH!"
[Lee runs out of the room to get another sloppy joe as Biffy punches the chessboard in frustration. He gets to the lunchroom, gets his sandwich, and sits down.]
Lee: "Finally, just you and me." [He raises the sandwich to his mouth.]
Principal General Barrage: "LEE PING!" [The sandwich goes flying as the principal's yell startles him.] "In my office. NOW!"
[Lee sighs.]

[Holger is soaking his left index finger in a cup of ice water while he chats with Lee over the internet.]
Holger: "Holger button-pressing finger is kafloofashanked! So what about phone?"
Lee: "Just giving it a full charge right now. It may not be Ruby, fine, but when it's charged I am gonna find out who it is once and for all."
[Another chat window opens on Lee's desktop. Camillio is panting in an alleyway.]
Lee: "Cam. Where are you?"
Camillio: [exhausted] "Who knows?!?!? And these guys they don't quit, man!" [The cleaners approach.] "I told you I hated you already right?"
Lee: "Uh, look out!"
Camillio: "Aaah!" [He takes off again. Lee closes his chats.]
Lee: "When this thing charges, I'll know everything!"
Mrs. Ping: [outside] "Lee! Dinner! We're having sloppy joes."
Lee: "Yes! I love you Mom!"
[Lee darts away from his desk. As a result, he's not there to see it when the phone locks itself upon reaching a full charge.]