"Having detention for a whole year for pulling off the biggest prank in high school history is bad enough, right?" [Pictures of Lee kissing Brandy and the prank on Barrage and the news crew are shown.]
"But everything I do to try to prove I'm innocent, gets me in even more trouble! I was sure the skaters were behind the prank–" [yearbook photos of the skaters are shown]
"–but they got their orders from someone pretending to be me in an email, and they only did the paint part. I've got an email address: Radcircles@anigmahigh. Now I just gotta figure out who sent it!"
"At 4:15, detention gets out. But I'm nowhere near detention and–" [Biffy's cat scratches him.]
"Ahw! Cat claws are crazy sharp!"[Lee is running through the halls of the school, carrying a cat in a blue sweater. Barrage can be heard pursuing them.]Principal General Barrage:
"That's it, cat! Papa Barrage is coming to getcha good!"Lee: [to Biffy]
"You awake? Barrage is on my tail!"Biffy:
"I told you, I can't track him like this." [A camera has been affixed to his cat's sweater. At the moment, it is only capturing Lee's image.]
"You're wearing my eyes."Lee:
"More like your eyes are wearing me!"[Lee ducks behind a bank of lockers. The cat starts to meow, so Lee clutches it close to stop the noise. In response, it digs its claws deep into Lee's arms and rends his flesh.]Lee: [strangled]
"Hff! Gow!"Principal General Barrage: [purring]
"Mrrr!"[Lee tries to sink deeper into the shadows.]
Earlier that day...Tina: [over the intercom]
"Would the following students report to Room 113b? Irwin Dexter and Brad Myers."Lee: [messing with his phone]
"C'mon, Radcircles, what's your password already? Rad? Nope. Rat? Nope. Bad?"[Lee passes a group of emos. As he walks by, they snicker at him.]Camillio: [running up to him]
"Ping! Yo, bro!" [Lee offers his right hand for a fist bump.]
"Oh did you uh, uh, wash that hand?"Lee:
"Wha, you don't know?" [He pulls out his phone and shows Lee an obviously photoshopped picture of Lee picking his nose.]Lee:
"Whoa!" [poking at the screen]
"C'mon, that's not even my finger. Where'd you get this?"Camillio:
"It was emailed schoolwide.
Everyone's seen it, bro!"Lee:
"Emailed? From who?" [suspicious]
"Wait! Was it Radcircles?" [checking the sender's address]
"Nah, it's from IPFrehley@anigmahigh.com."[Three cheerleaders walk past, giggling at Lee.]Cheerleader #1:
"Hey, it's fake, okay!" [to Lee]
"Aw man, you–we–someone has to do like damage control pronto man, stat! Right away, you know, like, uh, asap!"Lee:
"It's a fake picture. No one's gonna fall for it." [walking away]
"I don't have time for this."Camillio:
"Are you loco in the coco?" [chasing after Lee]
"This is the kind of thing that could totally blow our new cool rep man!"[Lee collides with Brandy at a hallway intersection.]Brandy: [irate]
"Watch where you're–" [recognizing Lee]
"Oh. Hi."[Lee gathers Brandy's dropped books and holds them out in his left hand. Brandy blanches and runs the other way.]Brandy:
"Uh, gotta go."Lee: [calling after her]
"Unh, it's worse than I thought! Your girlfriend won't even talk to you, bro!"Lee:
"She's not my girlfriend, she's–" [thinking about it]
[Lee is in his homeroom class, and that of course means the morning news. Chaz is preening himself while Tina talks.]
Tina: "...in summary, there'll be no more–" [swallowing a gag] "–turkey lasagna for lunch. Ever."
[Lee taps on his phone. Holger leans over to look.]
Lee: "Holger, it wasn't me!" [He shows Holger the picture.] "It's fake!"
Holger: "Phewf! 'Cause in Holger country, only president put finger inside nose."
Chaz: "In less snoozy news, here's a little nugget, pardon the pun. Everyone's seen the email of booger-picker prankster Lee Ping?" [He holds up the picture, which he printed out.] "Could this be the end of his popularity ride?"
[Lee is walking down a hallway with Holger when Cam rushes up.]
Camillio: "So this booger thing could go like two ways, man. Bad, or really bad."
Lee: "Dude! Enough! I'm trying to find out who sent the prank email, and you keep yapping about boogers."
Camillio: "Yeah but bro, we gotta–"
Irwin: "Penny for your snots, Ping." [He flicks a penny into Lee's face.]
Lee: [getting hit] "Uhh!"
Beth: [spitting through her retainer] "Yeah, like, that is so gross."
Lee: [shaking his head] "Mathletes." [taunting them] "Still working on the same old math equation? What's it been? Six years now?"
Irwin: "You're just jealous! 'Cause one day we will solve the prestigious Pythagoras math problem, and win that million-dollar prize. Without you!" [The mathletes leave.]
Camillio: "Aw, man! Even the mathletes are sniping us! This is like, mucho disaster dude!"
Holger: "Why Irwin make hatecake for Lee?"
Camillio: "Bro-o, our boy Lee used to be a mathlete. And Irwin and him were bestest friends back in the day."
Holger: [shocked] "You wore sweater of nerd? But–you used to be friend? Now not no more?" [He gasps in shock.]
Camillio: "One day, snug as two Mexican bugs, the next, dastardly enemies. So is the circle of life, dude."
Lee: "It wasn't like that! We never–" [sidetracked] "Circle? Radcircles, of course! I thought Radcircles was a skater term, like 'Totally rad, dude.' But it's a math term, like 'Radius circle.' Heh. It's gotta be Irwin's email address."
Camillio: "Well he does hate you."
Holger: "Guys. Holger say no losing friends here, okay? Me desire Lee and Cam to be BFFs till the old man times." [He holds up a picture he drew of them as old people still hanging out together.]
Camillio: "What?!? How come you get the cute nurse?!?"
Lee: "Ugh. If this is Irwin's email account I'm sure he's encrypted it to the tenth power of math nerddom." [thinking] "But. If I can get on his laptop, his password's probably already entered."
Camillio: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa! You are not gonna hang with mathletes, bro. Not while our rep is down."
Lee: "Dude, if I can prove Irwin sent that prank email, I can prove my innocence. Gotta jet, spare." [running off] "And I know just where Irwin'll be."
Holger: [to Camillio] "Holger no realize friends could make bye-bye. Hold me?"
[Holger picks his friend up in a tight hug. Unfortunately for Cam, this is the moment when a trio of cheerleaders happen to walk past. They giggle at the sight of him being hugged by Holger, and Cam groans.]
[Three mathletes are hanging out in the library.]
Irwin: "Fellow mathletes. This is a new year. And this year, we solve the Pythagoras math problem. So set your notebooks to stun!"
Mrs. Alice: "Shh!"
[Lee spies on them from behind a bookcase. Beth runs past him to her fellow mathletes.]
Beth: [in hushed tones] "Guys. I just found something. A missing part of the equation! And, it's on microfiche! Who's excited?" [She is so excited that her retainer pops out.]
Irwin: [hushed] "Huzzah!" [normally] "To the resource section!"
Mrs. Alice: "Ssh!" [She indicates to Irwin that she has her eyes on him. The mathletes scram for the microfiche.]
Lee: "Now or never." [He starts sneaking towards the laptops. Suddenly, his phone rings.]
Mrs. Alice: "Ssh!"
Lee: [answering his phone with a whisper] "What?"
Holger: [working as a waterboy] "Holger want to say 'hi friend!'"
Lee: "Kinda in the middle of something!" [He changes to his earpiece.]
Holger: "So Holger sing you spy music for the secrets of the mission. Dum dum dum, dum be dum dum–" [Lee begins sneaking towards the laptops again.] "–sneaky time, dum be dum de dum, de da da da, we are being sneaky!" [Lee hears the sound of his cyborg principal.]
Principal General Barrage: [entering the library] "I smell nerd brains! And cranial oil!"
Mrs. Alice: "Sssshh." [In response, Barrage growls, and the librarian cowers behind her book.]
Lee: "Uh-oh. If Barrage catches me enjoying a spare–"
Holger: "Barrage? Holger make music extra intense! Doom de doom doom doom, doom de doom doom dum de dum, sneaky!" [Lee hides behind the end of a bookcase as Barrage peers down his aisle.] "You got to sneak and not get caught, by Barrage!"
[Cam and Tina are sitting in a classroom. Tina has several papers in front of her and Cam seated behind her.]
Camillio: [whispering] "Psst! Tina!"
Tina: [whispering] "The answer is a, no you cannot cheat off me!"
Camillio: [whispering] "Cheat? Me? Huh? I just wanted to talk to you about Ping, bro! Did you know who sent the booger thing?" [pausing] "And question two is d, right?"
Tina: [whispering] "Cam! Not now, and, no it's not–"
Camillio: [whispering] "Well I thought maybe we could swap info, your booger four-one-one for my deets on Lee's prank? Is it c?"
Tina: [whispering] "I'm in!" [pausing] "And it's b."
Camillio: "Of course, the isosceles triangle!"
Mrs. Ping: "Ahem!"
[Lee's mother, the math teacher, looks upset with Cam's outburst.]
Camillio: "Uh, sorry Mrs. Lee's Mom. Um, math makes me, uh, loco excited." [He fakes a laugh.]
[In the library, Lee peers out from behind a bookcase. He has made it to Irwin's laptop.]
Lee: "Gotcha." [He sits down and begins trying to open programs on the computer.] "C'mon, c'mon!"
Irwin: "Lee." [Lee looks up.] "Ping!" [The mathletes have returned and are not happy to see Lee trying to break into Irwin's computer. Lee gulps.]
[Irwin reaches over and shuts his laptop.]
Beth: "Gross! His snot digits were all over your computer." [She wipes spit off of her face.] "Get the disinfectant!"
[Beth laughs, spitting in Lee's general direction as she does so. Lee leans away, disgusted.]
Irwin: "Looks like I caught you red-handed, booger-fingers! Trying to steal all our work for the Pythagoras math problem."
Lee: [standing up] "Psh. As if."
Greta: [advancing on him] "So then what brings you to our table?" [placing a hand on his chest] "Miss our–" [snorting] "–long math trivia nights?" [She wiggles her eyebrow, attempting to be seductive.]
Lee: "Uh, I was looking for a certain email I know a certain someone sent!"
Mrs. Alice: "Ssh!"
Irwin: [whispering] "Email?" [poorly lying] "What email? I don't know any 'e mail.' Even if there was some random email that actually existed you were randomly talking about, you could never prove it. Emperically, or mathematically."
Lee: [whispering] "Ah ha! Then open up your laptop and prove it, Mister Radcircles."
Irwin: [confused] "Circles? Third grade advanced geometry? What's that got to do with anything?"
Lee: "Don't play dumb with me!" [A metal hand reaches out and clamps down on his shoulder.] "Aw come on, we're whispering!"
Principal General Barrage: "I don't care if you're doing the chorus from My Sweet Mustachioed Lady. What're you doing HERE?!?"
Lee: "Me? Uh–" [weakly] "I have a spare."
Principal General Barrage: "And where are you supposed to be during all spares?"
[Lee has been placed in the detention room.]
Principal General Barrage: "Bravo!" [storming off] "Not bad for someone with nothing but oatmeal and tiddlywinks going through the eyebrows!"
[The door shuts behind him. As soon as he's gone, Lee pulls out his phone and makes a call.]
Holger: [answering] "Holger says hello."
Lee: "Holg. I need your help after school."
[Tina is walking through the halls. Camillio comes up behind her.]
Camillio: "Track booger email time! What's the plan Juliostan?"
Tina: "I help you and you help me get an exclusive on Lee's prank."
Camillio: "Deal, bro."
Tina: [placing a press hat on Cam's head] "Just follow my lead. You're working with the school news."
Camillio: [placing an arm around Tina's shoulders] "Rolling with Miss Tina Bobina. Big times."
[Tina removes his arm from her shoulders and lets him fall to the ground.]
[Lee is in detention with Biffy. The principal is yelling at them.]
Principal General Barrage: "Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber. You sit there and think about which one's which. And not one peep!"
[Barrage starts leaving, but is halted by the sound of a meow.]
Biffy: [thinking quickly] "Uh, technically a meow, not a peep."
[The principal growls but exits the room. As soon as he's gone, both boys breathe a sigh of relief, and Biffy lets his cat out of the vent.]
Biffy: [to his cat] "It's okay. Robo-meanie is gone now!"
Lee: "Before you say anything, the picture was a total fake."
Biffy: [rolling his eyes] "Obviously. I can tell a bad paint job a mile away! But I gotta have some fun. Find any gold up there?" [Lee looks away angrily. His phone vibrates.] "You gonna pick that up?" [He laughs as Lee answers the phone.]
Holger: [dressed in his red bodysuit] "Super spy Jorf Borf reporting for duty!"
Lee: "I'm here, Holger."
Holger: "Who's Holger? Holger no here."
Lee: [sighing] "Fine. Jorf Borf. You heading to the Mathletes clubhouse?"
Holger: "Operation: Keep Friends in effect."
Lee: "I'm not gonna stop being–forget it. When you get there, tell 'em you want to join. Like we talked about."
Holger: "Won't he make suspicious face?"
Lee: "Tell him you think I'm gross, I'm a–"
Biffy: "Snot farmer!" [He laughs. Lee's expression droops.]
Lee: "Booger picker. And that you always loved math. And itchy sweaters."
Holger: "Boogers, sweaters, always, okay." [He opens the door to the mathletes' classroom only to find nobody there.] "Computers? But no humans? Maybe they turn into computers at night!"
Lee: "No! They're just not there. Irwin's laptop is the one with the pi symbol on it. Flash drive that puppy."
[Holger puts his phone in his pocket and heads off to do as commanded. He slowly approaches Irwin's laptop.]
Holger: "Nice computer human. Holger friend."
[The spy inserts the flash drive and waits for the information to finish downloading. He begins whistling nervously to pass the time. Suddenly, the mathletes walk in carrying cans of Green Apple Splat. Irwin and Greta spit out their drinks in shock.]
Holger: [scared] "Hi."
[The mathletes surround him, and Wayne shuts the door. Lee hears all this with growing concern.]
Lee: "Holger? Holger!"
[The sounds of an approaching cyborg are heard. Lee puts his phone away and Biffy hides his cat in his shirt. Barrage walks in.]
Principal General Barrage: "Dumb, Dumber, check."
[Barrage shuts the door, and Biffy groans in pain as his cat claws at his chest. Barrage hears this and sticks his head back in.]
Principal General Barrage: [seeing nothing] "Carry on."
[The principal shuts the door, and Biffy removes the cat from inside his shirt.]
Lynch: "Okay. Got it."
[Lynch is seated in front of a bank of computer monitors when Tina walks in.]
Tina: "Hey Lynch. Busy?" [Cam pokes his head in the door and smiles.]
Lynch: "Hey!" [He closes a window on a screen.] "It ain't hip to be in here!"
Tina: "Cam just joined the news team and I'm showing him the hotspots."
Lynch: [confused] "The school servers is a hotspot?"
Tina: "Don't be modest. The servers are like the school's brain! And Lynch is in charge of it all."
Camillio: "So cool! So, i-if some girl, sent me some, email, and says she likes me, you could, like, check who she is and stuff?"
Lynch: "Hmm. Kinda against school policy."
Camillio: "Aw but dude, this is love."
[Lynch sighs but decides to fulfill Cam's request. As he works, Tina sneaks away.]
Lynch: [entering data] "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez. Right?"
Camillio: "Totally. Don't wear it out, bro."
[While Lynch is distracted, Tina starts working at a separate computer.]
[Jorf Borf has been blindfolded and tied to a chair.]
Holger: "Too dark. My eyes! They no work." [A hand snatches the blindfold from his head, revealing that his eyes are shut.] "Aah! My eyes still no work!"
Irwin: "Yeah, maybe try opening them, doofus." [Holger does as requested, and the mathlete shoves a light in his face.] "Who sent you! Why are you stealing our info? And–what are you wearing?" [Holger looks away guiltily.] "Commence tickle torture!"
[Wayne approaches the spy with a feather and begins tickling his chest. Soon, Holger breaks down laughing.]
Holger: "Okay! Okay! Holger tell! My shirt by Swedish designer Sven Svenson!"
Irwin: [annoyed] "Fine. Be that way. Set feather to tickle tantrum!"
[Wayne presses a button on the feather, and it begins vibrating furiously. The feather begins to approach Holger.]
Irwin: "You'll talk." [The feather hits the spy.] "And laugh."
[Holger does indeed begin to laugh.]
[Lee tries to reestablish radio contact with Holger.]
Lee: [on the phone] "Lee Cy to Jorf Borf. Come in Jorf Borf." [Receiving no response, he hangs up.] "Something bad's happened. Holger would never not respond to Jorf Borf."
Biffy: "It's part of the spy business. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice a pawn."
Lee: "Holger isn't a pawn. He's my friend. A friend who I sent in unprepared to do my dirty work. Lemme call Cam."
[Lee makes the call. It goes to voicemail.]
Camillio: [rapping] "Yo, yo whaddo you know! You reached my message, an-an-an-and my message–" [Lee hears Barrage approaching and hangs up. Barrage throws open the door, makes sure that everything's okay, and then leaves. Lee gets a text.]
Lee: [reading] "Hey. If you ever want to see your friend again, come to the math room now." [surprised] "What?"
Biffy: "Uh-uh. Way on the other side of school. Suicide mission, buddy. Holger's a big boy, he can handle himself."
Lee: "Have you met Holger? I gotta save him, he'd do the same for me! Not–very well, but he'd do it!"
Biffy: "Well I do have one untested Barrage tracking tactic left." [He places a tiny camera in a pocket of his cat's sweater.]
Lee: "Very resourceful. But how's he gonna track down Barrage exactly?"
Biffy: [holding up a tiny bell] "This bell goes around kitty's leg, and Barrage will follow the noise."
[Biffy ties the bell on. He then opens the door to the detention room and lets his cat go. It begins running down the hall.]
Biffy: [emotional] "One day they're licking milk out of your hand, and the next, they're heading up dangerous spy missions."
Lee: [from the vent] "They grow up so fast." [holding out his phone] "Let's sync it up, baby!"
Biffy: [smiling] "That's my line."
[Soon, Lee is using the vent system while Biffy directs him.]
Biffy: "If you drop down now, the second floor stairs are on your left. Any further, and you'll be right in the middle of the girls locker room."
Lee: "Thanks for the warning this time." [He drops from the vent. Barrage is approaching from the other direction.]
[Lee ducks behind a wall. Barrage comes to the intersection, and Lee prepares for his inevitable capture–until Biffy's cat runs past.]
Principal General Barrage: [seeing movement] "Who goes there!" [identifying the culprit] "I don't allow vermin in my school."
[The cat begins running as the principal chases it. Biffy watches the feed from afar.]
Biffy: "Stay safe, Rumplekittykat."
[Lynch has performed Cam's request.]
Lynch: "Okay, mi amigo. It looks like I found out who sent this love letter."
Camillio: "Really? Who? Wait! I don't wanna know. Okay tell me. Actually, don't."
Lynch: "Ha! Nice try! That 'love letter' was sent by her!" [He hitches a thumb towards Tina.] "Five minutes ago!"
[Tina emits a gasp.]
Tina: [melodramatic] "It's true! I secretly love you and I just didn't know how to tell you!"
Camillio: [hammily] "This is all so...sudden." [pulling her into a hug] "Our parents will never allow such a...union."
Tina: [grabbing Cam's hand] "Why, oh why, can't the Kwees and the Martinezes just get along?"
Camillio: [ad-libbing] "Because, of the ancient ancestral feud seven years ago, involving a...broken fence! Now we are destined to find love against, like, all odds!"
[Lynch, frustrated, shoves them out of the control center.]
Lynch: "Show's over, Cammie-o and Tina-ette!"
[Lynch leaves to calm his nerves. Before the door can shut, though, Tina stops it from closing with a card.]
Tina: "Library card. A girl's best friend." [She and Cam enter the server room.]
[Lee enters the math room of the school.]
Irwin: "Well, well, well. The famous Lee Ping. We finally meet."
Lee: [unimpressed] "We saw each other this morning, dude. Drop the evil villain act."
Holger: "Lee!" [Holger's hair is being held up by Wayne, who has a pair of scissors.] "They are to make my hair go kafloofashoop!"
Lee: "Leave his glorious mane alone!"
Irwin: "Oh, we've only begun! Your little plan to steal the answer to my equation failed and now your spy is caught."
Lee: "I don't care about the equation. My mom made me join the mathletes. Your uniforms itch and Beth's retainer is–distracting."
Beth: [spitting as she speaks] "Says you!"
Lee: [looking at the equation] "Since when is x1 to the third ever an integer of y to the power of x?"
[Lee erases the incorrect math, and the mathletes gape.]
Irwin: [nervous] "D-so, you spotted my deliberate error. You always thought you were better than me at math."
Lee: "Replace thought with knew." [Irwin's eyes widen.]
Irwin: "Lies. All LIES! WRISTBAND ME!" [The mathletes snap wristbands onto his wrist and a sweatband onto his head.]
Lee: "Oh-ho-ho, really. What's it gonna be? Dueling Chalkboards? Or Calculator Chicken?"
Irwin: [laughing maniacally] "You have a lot to learn about math club."
[Irwin pulls at a section of the wall, and a miniature dance floor complete with lighted panels, a giant TV, and massive speakers pops out.]
Irwin: "Rule number one of math club is!"
Wayne: "Bring your own protractor."
Irwin: "Rule number two?" [He steps on the dance floor.] "We always dance it out." [He casts off his normal clothes, revealing a dance uniform hidden underneath.]
Lee: "So, rule number three is you have to look like a complete idiot?"
Wayne: [explaining the rules] "Solve an equation, get a point."
Beth: [spitting on Wayne] "The first to seven wins." [She gigglesnorts and attempts to wipe Wayne's face off.]
Lee: [stepping onto the dance floor] "If I win, will you promise that Holger's hair'll be safe?"
[Wayne nods, and the game begins.]
Irwin: "Eat my math dust!"
[The first equation is x = 2x ÷ 0052. The duo use the dance floor as a giant calculator, and Irwin gets the question correct, winning the first point. The next question involves a triangle with angles of 30º, 60º, and 90º, with sides a (across from the right angle), b (across from the 60º angle), and c (across from the 30º angle. The equation this time is (a + b)(zx) ÷ c.]
Holger: [watching] "Wow! Mathletes are, maybe, groovy?"
[Tina is working at the bank of monitors while Cam keeps watch.]
Tina: "What email account am I looking for?"
Camillio: "Where the booger thing came from. But Lee's looking for Radcircles."
[Lynch, whistling, can be heard coming back.]
Tina: "There's no time for both."
Camillio: "Aw, man! Okay, okay. See who Radcircles is." [He shuts the door and goes out to stall Lynch.] "Hey, bro! Uh, buy you a Green Apple Splat? You know, they say it's like, the splattiest."
Lynch: [excited] "It's got more splat in each can than–" [He pauses as suspicion crosses his mind.] "No thanks. Just forgot my keys."
Camillio: [looking at Lynch's shoes] "Hey, yo, are those shoes the uh, the new flattop grooves?"
[In the math room, the score is 5-3 in favor of Irwin. The same 30-60-90 triangle from before and the same (a + b)(zx) ÷ c equation are onscreen.]
Lee: "I know you're the one who framed me for the prank. You sent the email to the skaters."
[Lee wins this round, pulling to within one of Irwin. Holger bobs his head to the music as the next question comes up: (a + b)2 ÷ (xy) = (x - y)2 ÷ (ab) where a=2 and x=1. Lee wins this one as well, tying the match.]
Irwin: [panting] "Fine, yes, it was me. But I sent it to more than just the skaters."
[Lee gapes. The next question, the first equation of x = 2x ÷ 0052, appears on the screen. Irwin wins this one without a hitch, and the same question appears again. The eyes on both math whizzes widen, and they begin dancing furiously. Irwin does the splits and suddenly stops.]
Irwin: [in pain] "My leg! YAAAAA!"
[Lee calmly finishes the equation and then turns to his rival, who is being helped up by Greta.]
Lee: "That email's ruined my life! Why'd you do it?"
Irwin: "Okay, embarrassed you, maybe. But ruined your life? Come on."
Lee: "Just admit that you're Radcircles@anigmahigh and gimme the rest of the prank plans!"
Irwin: "What're you talking about? I'm not Radcircles. I'm IPFrehley?"
[Irwin walks over to his computer and opens a program. It shows a picture of Irwin picking his nose, Lee standing around, and finally Irwin's arm placed into picking position on Lee's picture. Lee goes over to take a look, and while he's distracted Irwin zips back over to the dance floor.]
Lee: "Huh?" [Irwin swiftly dances his way to a win.]
Irwin: "Ha! I win! Nah na na nah nah! You're not a real math nerd!"
Lee: "Dude, you picked your nose to frame me. How is that a win?"
Irwin: [triumphant] "I picked my nose to make it look like you picked your nose!"
Greta, Beth, and Wayne: "Gross."
Lee: [untying Holger] "Sorry for putting your hair in danger, buddy." [to the mathletes] "And guys, this guy, as a leader? Really?"
Irwin: [confused] "But–but I beat him." [desperate] "I'm better!"
Greta: [to Lee] "So, do you need an after-school study buddy? Hmm?"
Biffy: [coming through on the earpiece] "Um, we got problems. You gotta go! Mr. Rumple is heading towards–"
Lee: "Sorry Greta. Gotta go." [He bolts.]
Holger: "I make the excellent study buddy. One plus one equal–" [spinning Greta around] "–dance team!"
[Greta laughs and wiggles her eyebrow. Meanwhile, Lee enters an intersection just in time for Biffy's cat to leap into his arms.]
Principal General Barrage: "I hate cats."
[Lee runs away from the principal, eventually hiding behind a bank of lockers where he clutches the cat close to keep it from making any noise. The cat is not pleased with this, and rends the flesh on Lee's arms.]
Lee: [hushed] "Yeeh!"
Biffy: "Oh, I should've mentioned I really need to trim his claws."
[The principal tromps closer as Lee attempts to sink into the shadows. Fortunately, Barrage passes by the detentionaire, unaware of his presence.]
Lee: [heading in the other direction] "Where to? Kinda running blind here!"
[To distract Lynch, Cam has started dancing.]
Cam: [providing music] "Enh. Onh. Tss-ss. Enh-e-onh-ahn, onk, ee-aw ah-ohn-ah, ohn-ah." [concluding his dance] "That move took like four weeks to learn, dude."
Lynch: [bored] "You don't say." [Behind him, Tina sneaks out of the server room.] "Yeah, that's real good, but uh I gotta–" [He enters the control center, letting the slamming door conclude his sentence.]
Camillio: [bumping fists with Tina] "You know for a news nerd, you're kinda cool."
Tina: [sighing] "For an Esmereldo...you're not bad either." [excited] "So, I figured out who sent that email. You're not gonna believe this!"
[Before Tina can share the news, Lee skids around a corner clutching Biffy's cat. He walks by them calmly.]
Lee: "Cam. Tina."
[As soon as Lee passes them, he begins running again. Barrage comes to the intersection and stops as well.]
Camillio and Tina: [pointing in the same direction] "That way." [The principal follows their false instructions.]
Camillio: "So? Who?"
[Lee runs into the detention room and hands Biffy's cat to him. As Lee sits down, Biffy puts the cat inside of his shirt.]
Principal General Barrage: "You two see a filthy little feline?"
Principal General Barrage: "De-smissed!"
[Lee is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.]Lee:
"I can't believe it wasn't Irwin that pulled off the prank. The motivation, the revenge, the drama? It was all there."[A video chat window opens on Lee's screen.]Camillio:
"Hey, bro. So I figured out who Radcircles is!"Lee: [excited]
"Really?!? I so owe you."Camillio:
"Big time. I want one date with three girls and a hot math tutor!"Lee: [shaking off Cam's request]
"Uh, sure. So? Who was it?"[Lee hears noises outside. He looks out his window and spots Holger climbing a nearby tree.]Holger:
"Want to hug nighty-night to friend." [He holds his arms out, loses his balance, and topples to the ground.]
"WOOOOO!"Mrs. Ping: [entering his room]
"Lee, close that window." [She leaves.]Lee: [at the window]
"Night Holger. Next time it might be safer to send me an e-hug."Holger:
"Okay." [He groans in pain.]Lee: [back at the computer]
"The Radcircles prank email came from...the old principal's account."Lee: [shocked]
"The one who's missing?"Mrs. Martinez: [offscreen]
"Camillio Esmereldo Martinez! Have you done your homework?"Camillio:
"Uh, gotta go, bro!" [He shuts down his end of the chat.]Lee:
"The missing principal? Why would he want to set me up? Or–could he be trying to tell me something? And–wait a second." [smiling]