FANDOM


Script


The Serpent's Inner Monologue: [weaving his motorcycle through traffic] Hi. I'm The Serpent. That's right, the mysterious casino owner with a pet snake named Priscilla. You've heard of me, right? I got my name when I passed my very first test. [He takes his retractable wooden blade from its sheath, uses it to cut a single flower as he passes by a flowerbed, and affixes the flower to a buttonhole in his jacket.] Heehee! That was back when I came up with a deadly move called The Serpent's Strike. [He remembers the occasion.] Trust me, you don't ever want it coming your way.
[The Serpent snatches a baseball from a kid tossing it up and down on the corner while waiting to cross.]
The Serpent: "Fetch!"
[The Serpent's light changes, and he speeds away.]
The Serpent's Inner Monologue: I heard Lee Ping calls me Stink Ninja. [unamused] Funny fellow. [normally] Wanna know where the smell comes from? Can you keep a secret? It's my ancient medallion, worn by the greatest warriors, handed down for thousands of years. [The medallion looks like a pair of tazelwurm heads. The Serpent pulls up to the Hydra.] That's a lot of blood, sweat and death my friend. [He enters his office.] I suppose now you want to know more. Aside from what I'm doing at the casino, and for Cassandra, I'm on my own mission. [He stares at his big screens. On them are the results of Lee's DNA scan. He catches a fly between two fingers and feeds it to Priscilla.] And I now have all my facts. [rolling a pair of dice with odd symbols] But how will I...use them?
Detentionaire

[Lee uses the flashlight app on his phone to scan around a room full of filing cabinets. Biffy is also using his phone to scan files, and he begins reading one.]
Biffy: "Whoa, and did you see this? They all live at the exact same address! Isn't that Brandy's condo?"
Lee: "Got it! My mom's file!"
[Suddenly, a hiss comes from a vent, and two claws poke through the cover.]
Biffy: "Heads up. Blue taz attack!"
[The vent cover is thrown off, and the Red Tazelwurm sticks its head out.]
Lee: [relaxed] "It's just Taz." [approaching it] "Hey bud, haven't seen you in a while."
[The Red Tazelwurm hisses, and Lee and Biffy recoil.]


Earlier that day...3:09 PM
[Professor Pennyearnt is teaching his class with a filmed reenactment of Benjamin Franklin's "kite in a thunderstorm" experiment.]
Professor Pennyearnt: "And that fateful day the greatest man in history and my personal idol Benjamin Franklin proved that lightning is electricity!"
Lee: [quietly] "Okay, is it me or does Pennyearnt worship Franklin a little too much?"
Biffy: [quietly] "Just you. Ha, not. Either they're clones, or they both shop at Founding Fathers 'R' Us."
Lee: [softly] "Clones. Weird. That's exactly why Cam said stink ninja stole one of my hairs."
Biffy: [whispering] "Hey, if they can clone sheep, why not people?"
[Lee takes out his phone, and Biffy lays his head down on his arms. The bell rings, and he sits up, alert.]
Professor Pennyearnt: "Okay class, I want a thousand-page report on your favorite scientific genius by tomorrow."
Biffy: "Uh, does the guy who invented the whoopie cushion count?"
[Lee and Biffy get up and leave class.]

[Lee and Biffy arrive at Lee's locker. Lee is still looking at his phone.]
Lee: "I knew it! MWF Farms clones sheep!" [reading] "All our delicious meats come from a hundred percent cloned animals."
Biffy: "And that's why I'm a vegetarian. Okay, so basically MWF, aka the most evil corporation ever, that Kimmie's mom owns, clones food?"
Lee: [shutting his locker] "Yeah. And stink ninja, who we know works for her slash them, took my hair. So–"
Principal General Barrage: [walking towards them] "Tweedledee and Deedledo." [angry] "Where do you two balls of lumpy-bumpy expired milk think you're going?"
Biffy: "Same place we always go. Uh, detention?"
Principal General Barrage: [sinisterly] "Not today, Sonny Jim and Bonnie Jammer." [loudly] "Fall in, and follow me!" [leading the way] "Hut, two, three, four!" [Lee and Biffy follow the principal.]
Biffy: "Just think, if you did have a clone, he could be doing detention for you. Unh?"
Lee: [rolling his eyes] "Right."


[Cam is lying on his basement couch, staring at his third grade class photo.]
Camillio: "Like why Grayson? Why frame us? I mean okay Dickie's an annoying social climber Steve's a jock, I get it but–" [Angelina can be heard yelling something.] "–why me, dude, I'm amazing?" [A crash is heard.] "OKAY ANGELINA YOU SERIOUSLY GOTTA STOP THAT!"
Angelina: [wearing a colander, a muffin tin, and oven mitts] "It's not my fault robots are loud."
Camillio: "Just keep it down, okay? I gotta like make a phone call."
Angelina: "I'm telling Mom. She took your phone away 'cause you're not allowed to have playtime with friends!" [imitating their mother] "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez, you are grounded!"
[Cam ignores her and calls Holger. Holger answers.]
Camillio: "Holg, my sister's driving me loco banana pancakes. You come and help me deal or what what?"
Holger: "No to be worried, noble citizen. Holger be most wonderful babysitter, ya. He bringing many toys for baby." [pulling objects out of his locker] "Pacifier, balloons–"
[Angelina steals Cam's sandwich.]
Camillio: "Huh?"
Holger: [pulling out a wooden unicorn] "Baby's favorite, zhe wonders of Oxenhose."
Camillio: "Nah, dude, babysitting is just like a term!" [Holger's lip quivers.] "She's seven, man, she's not a–"
Angelina: "Mom said you're not allowed to have guests. I'm gonna tell."
Camillio: "You're not gonna tell, and hey, gimme back my sandwich!"
Holger: [sniffling] "What are you–she no longer liking Oxenhose? And the very red balloon?"
Camillio: "Whatever man, just get over here, bring Oxenblosen or whatever."
Holger: [cheering] "Oxenhose! Ja! Giddyup! Be riding like the wind, okay? Whee!"
[Cam hangs up and takes his sandwich back from Angelina.]
Camillio: "Ha! Who's the sandwich master now?" [He takes one bite and spits it out.] "Why's this all mushy and wet? Angelina!" [She giggles.] "Did you spit in this?"
Angelina: "No, it's oil! I'm a robot!" [robotically] "I am a robot that does not com–"
[Cam looks at the sandwich and frowns. Suddenly, he remembers how in third grade, Dickie, Brad, and Steve tried to force him to eat a beetle sandwich while the class was on a nature field trip.]
Memory Steve: "Eat the sandwich! Eat the sandwich!"
Memory Camillio: "No, este insecto aqui."
[Cam remembers getting rid of the sandwich, and someone else having to deal with it.]
Memory Steve: [gleeful] "Bug eater! Bug eater!"
Camillio: [back in the present] "What the–who was that guy getting laughed at?" [He gets hit in the face with a pillow.] "Oof. Angelina!" [She runs off, laughing.] "C'mon, Holg, hurry up already!"


[Tina and Jenny are sitting in a coffee shop.]
Tina: "Last period spares rock. So, did you ask your mom why she's in some evil photo?"
Jenny: "Yeah, and..."
Tina: "And?"
Jenny: "And my mom says it's not her. It was her twin sister, my aunt. And she was a scientist. So it all kinda makes sense, except, not really."
Tina: "Wait. Was a scientist?"
Jenny: "Yeah well, before she kinda just vanished."
Tina: "Okay, and you don't find that odd?"
Jenny: [distracted] "Huh? Why would someone say they're gonna text, and then not?"
[Jenny frowns. The door to the shop opens, and The Serpent walks in.]
Jenny: [nervous] "Omg. He's here! He's here! What do I do? What do I do he's coming over, go, go!" [She pushes Tina away.]
Tina: [annoyed] "Fine." [She takes her backpack and tromps over to the next table. Jenny pretends to be messing with her phone as The Serpent walks up to her.]
The Serpent: "Jennifer Jergens. Jenny J. Jay jay. Just the person I've been looking for."
Jenny: [surprised] "You were? I mean, well, you kinda never texted me back."
The Serpent: "I never kinda do a lot of things." [looking at Tina] "Would your friend like to join us?" [Tina's eyes widen.]
Jenny: "Who, her? Uh, she's not with me. I don't even know her–" [Tina gasps.] "Well, I know her, but, uh–I'm her tutor!" [An angry look crosses Tina's face.]
The Serpent: "Can I get you a drink?" [to Tina] "Hey. Tutor girl. Thirsty too?"
[The Serpent walks over to the counter. Tina glares at Jenny, so Jenny goes over to talk to her date.]
Jenny: "Hey. She can be a bit–clingy. Serious abandonment issues. Don't lead her on or she'll never leave. You know what I mean?" [The Serpent walks away from her.] "And uh, I'll have what you're having."
Tina: [walking up behind Jenny] "Great. So now I'm your clingy, need-a-tutor friend."
Jenny: "Sorry, but–" [quieter] "–can you just check out? Y'know, hit the washroom or something? Please! I like this guy. You're making me sort of–" [She sticks her finger in her nostril.]
Tina: "Nervous?" [smiling] "That's what you do when you are, and you might not wanna do that in front of you-know-who?"
Jenny: "Guh!" [She yanks her finger out of her nose and checks to make sure The Serpent didn't see.]
Tina: "If you need me I'll be hiding in the bathroom. You so owe me."


[Steve, Trevor, and Evan are shooting hoops in the gym.]
Steve: [sinking a shot] "Booyah!"
[On the other side of the gym are a bunch of random items. Next to them are Barrage, Lee, and Biffy.]
Principal General Barrage: "Okay, goobags. Everything in this room has been infected with lice! I want you to take everything out of here, and dump it onto that big bonfire on the field!" [He uses his cyborg eye to incinerate a bunch of lice-infested stuff on the football field.] "Heat vision. Never gets old!" [to Lee and Biffy] "Make sure everything is de-stroyed!" [Lee and Biffy grab some stuff and head for the nearest exit. Barrage shuts the door.] "And no using the fire escape! That's for emergency use only. Plus, it'd be too easy that way. Now destroy! As I declare today to be V.O.L.L.D. Victory Over Lice Larva Day! Hoowah!" [He leaves.]
Biffy: "Lice larva? Heh. And Kimmie says my hat is dumb."
[They take two objects to the football field and throw them on the fire.]
Biffy: "This is gonna take forever. But, I do like fire so that's a plus."
[Biffy stares at the fire, entranced.]
Lee: "Yeah." [waving his hand in front of Biffy's face] "Focus here! C'mon. You were saying, if they can clone sheep?"
Biffy: [snapping out of his trance] "Oh right, and Pennyearnt looks like Mister Kite-Flyer himself, Benny B. Franklin, maybe they're trying to clone you next!"
[Lee rolls his eyes and walks away.]
Biffy: [after a second] "Hey! No fair!" [following Lee] "I mean, why clone you? You're not a world-famous scientist, and you're certainly not as smart, good-looking or strong as me." [Mr. Langhorne passes them, and Lee stops and stares at the teacher.] "So if they're cloning anyone, it so should be me."
[Barrage gets on the intercom.]
Barrage: [dully] "Teachers, mandatory teachers' meeting. Staff lounge." [normally] "Now!"
Lee: [showing Biffy a picture on his phone] "Ever notice Langhorne looks a lot like Mark Twain? And when I say looks like, and a lot, I mean–"
Biffy: "Yeah, I get it, another possible clone. Huff, someone's got a new favorite subject." [Lee stares at him silently.] "Okay maybe you're right it is a little weird."
Lee: "Yeah. This whole school is a little weird. But I got a plan. We break into Barrage's office and check his files on all the teachers. You just heard. They have a meeting so the coast is clear."
Biffy: "What about when Barrage gets back and the gym's full of furniture?"
Lee: [escorting Biffy] "Biffy, baby, bubbleh, you worry too much." [He throws open the gymnasium doors and whistles.] "Hey jocks! Ten bucks says you can't take all this stuff and toss it in the fire pit outside before, I dunno, four-fifteen?"
Steve: "Are you kidding? We're like awesome at anything! Bet is accepted! Let's show him how we do it boys!"
[The jocks get to work. Lee winks at Biffy, and Biffy offers him a thumbs-up.]


[Cam is still making phone calls.]
Camillio: "M'kay seriously Grayson, pick up, or call me back. We gots to talk bro!"
[Cam puts the phone down. Angelina walks into the basement.]
Angelina: "Breem, breem, breem, I'm a car! Rrrrnt, rrrrnt, ah-ha now I'm a plane!"
Camillio: [sarcastic] "Hey, I got one! Try being a rock."
Angelina: [robotically] "I am a robot that does not compute. Fire missile!" [A football smacks Cam in the back of the head.] "Pew pew. Okay, now I want to watch a movie." [chanting] "Movie! Movie! Movie!"
Camillio: [annoyed] "Fine, here." [He turns on the TV.]
Kids Show Host: "Hi, kids. This is my knee."
Angelina: [annoyed] "That's for babies! I wanna watch this!" [She picks up a DVD case and hands it to Cam.]
Camillio: [laughing] "Return of the Cycle Killer? That's a horror movie, kid. It's gonna freak you out and you're gonna wet the bed again."
Angelina: [loudly] "I wanna watch it! I wanna watch it! I wanna watch it!"
Camillio: [annoyed] "Fine! Just stop!" [tired] "Aw, man. Holger! Where are you."
Angelina: "I am a robot!" [A huge clatter is heard.]


[Tina sighs and opens the bathroom door.]
Tina: "Okay, this is just stupid. How long have I been in here? Long enough I think." [She exits the bathroom.] "Hey! Where did they go?" [Tina spots Jenny perched on the backseat of the motorcycle, putting on a motorcycle helmet. As soon as the helmet is on, The Serpent speeds off. Tina runs out of the coffee shop, yelling frantically.] "Jenny, no! You don't know him!" [sighing] "Ugh. Didn't you see the PSA not to accept rides from strangers?"
[Tina remembers the PSA. In it, a small boy leaps onto the back of a stranger's motorcycle and spontaneously combusts. Back in reality, Tina gasps.]


[Lee and Biffy sneak up to the principals' office.]
Lee: [whispering] "Coast is clear."
Principal General Barrage: [inside the office] "Well I don't care if we are two principals!" [Lee and Biffy duck down.] "That doesn't mean you get to skip the meeting!" [He sniffs the air.] "Hold on. I think I smell hoodlums running amuck."
[Barrage goes to the door, opens it, and looks out. Seeing nothing, he goes back into his office.]
Lee: [emerging from his hiding spot] "Whew."
Biffy: "Okay. So that kinda ruins that."
Lee: "We'll have to do this another time."
[Lee and Biffy head back to the gym.]
Biffy: "Or, this school's over a hundred years old. There's gotta be old paper files, like from the days before computers were invented. You know, the horrible days."
Lee: "Good point. So, the basement?"
Biffy: "Already thought about it, and halfway there. Oh and hide."
[Lee and Biffy thrust themselves behind a bank of lockers in order to evade Principal Wurst. The principal enters a room, and the door shuts behind him.]
Lee: [suspicious] "Wait! Wasn't he just in Barrage's office?"
[Lee walks over to the room and tries the doorknob.]
Lee: "Locked!"
[Suddenly, a small explosion is heard, and some vapor drifts up from below the door.]
Biffy: [shocked] "What was that?"
Lee: [sniffing the vapor] "Smells like Green Apple–" [woozy] "–Splat–" [He faints.]


[Lighting crashes.]
Jenny: "AAAAHHH!"
[The Serpent's motorcycle speeds through the rain and cuts through traffic. The Serpent pulls it to a stop by the woods. Jenny gets off and hurls her helmet to the ground.]
Jenny: [irate] "Are you crazy? That was super dangerous and–"
The Serpent: "Kinda fun?"
Jenny: [deflated] "Well, yeah. Okay, so why are we out here in the creepy woods?"
[Lightning flashes, briefly illuminating The Serpent's eyes behind his helmet.]
Jenny: "You know, we should just go back to town. My friend's gonna be worried."
The Serpent: [teasing] "Oh, you're friends now? I thought you were just tutoring her. Does someone like to tell fibby fibs?" [A twig cracks behind Jenny.] "Whoa. Did you see that?" [Jenny turns to look.] "Someone's watching us." [Lightning crashes.] "Stay put."
[The Serpent goes to investigate.]
Jenny: [scared] "Wait! Don't go after it! Haven't you ever seen a horror movie? You never go after the strange eerie rustle in the bush! That's what they want!" [giving up] "Great. Now I'm alone." [Thunder crashes.] "Ah!"


[Cam and Angelina are watching the horror movie. Cam is cowering in fear, hands over his eyes, while Angelina is enjoying herself.]
Angelina: "Okay. You can look now."
[Cam uncovers his eyes. Once he sees that it's safe, he fakes coolness.]
Camillio: "What? Oh, I was totally watching. Just wanted to see something on my hands. Like, up really close." [Someone gets stabbed onscreen.] "Aah!" [He covers his eyes. Angelina giggles.]
Killer as a Child: "G-g-g-g-gotnu b-b-b-b-basta g-g-g-g-getchup."
[The kids in the movie laugh.]
Movie Kid: "He can't even s-s-s-s-s-speak!"
Narrator: "A childhood of bullying gave him a taste for revenge."
Camillio: [lowering his hands] "Hey wait a sec. That reminds me."
[Cam remembers being in the elementary school lunchroom during third grade.]
Memory Steve: "Yo Cam, hablo no ingles!"
[Cam remembers running off in tears as Nasasha and Steve laughed at him, and knocking a bowl of soup off of a table as he ran by. The memory ends, and he comes back to reality.]
Narrator: "The cycle killer always knocks thrice."
[Three knocks come on the front door.]
Camillio: [to Angelina] "Did you just do that?"
Angelina: "How? I'm sitting right here!"
Camillio: "M'kay. Kinda like majorly spooky coincidence, but uh–" [giggling nervously] "–I mean it's just a movie."
[The floorboards above them creak as footsteps approach the basement stairs.]
Angelina: [scared] "The cycle killer is in our house!"
[Angelina huddles against Cam. They scream.]


[Lee comes back to consciousness with Biffy carrying him.]
Biffy: "Lee? Lee!"
Lee: [woozy] "My herohurkin." [He pats Biffy's chest. Biffy drops him onto the floor.] "Ow!" [getting up] "What happened?"
Biffy: "Oh let's see. A strange sound, a gross smell, then splat, you fainted like a dainty British gran–" [Thunder crashes outside.] "AAH!"
Lee: [mockingly] "Who's a fraidy widdle gwandma now?"
[Barrage rounds the corner. Before he can see them, a power outage hits, and the lights go off. He activates his robotic eye, but by this time Lee and Biffy have stuffed themselves between some lockers. He passes them by without noticing them and punches a code into the keypad by the door Principal Wurst disappeared into. Barrage enters the room, and the door shuts behind him.]
Lee: [amazed] "That's two times lucky. Is there such a thing as three times lucky?"
Biffy: "Probably not. C'mon!"
[Lee and Biffy get away from the strange room.]


[Lightning crashes in the woods. Jenny is wandering around, lost.]
Jenny: [scared] "Hello? Where did you go?" [A twig snaps.] "Who's there?!?"
[Behind her, a raccoon chitters when she looks at it.]
Jenny: "Oh! You scared me, little guy!"
[Jenny moves forward slightly, and the raccoon bares its teeth.]
Jenny: "AAAAAAAHHH!"
[Jenny backs into The Serpent, who covers her eyes.]
Jenny: "AAAAAHHHHHH!"
[Jenny elbows The Serpent in the stomach and runs for her life.]


[Cam and Angelina are at the bottom of the basement stairs, looking at the door to the basement. Angelina grabs her big brother's hand.]
Camillio: [yanking his hand free] "Hey, what're you–did you spit in your hand? Now is not the time–"
Angelina: [scared] "No! I promise! I'm just scared."
Camillio: "Okay, c'mere." [Angelina grabs his hand and huddles close to him.] "Hey, maybe whoever it is like, left. See we're all right."
[The footsteps come again.]
Camillio: [angry] "M'kay, you know what? This is our home, homes!"
Angelina: "Take this!" [She holds up a jar.] "It's your fart jar!"
Camillio: "Gracias hermana." [running up the stairs] "Okay whoever it is up there, prepare to be blasted!" [He waits at the top of the stairs. The door opens, and he thrusts the newly opened jar into the intruder's face.] "Eat my farts cycle killer!"
[Holger breathes deeply of Camillio's farts.]
Camillio: [confused] "Holger?"
Holger: [choking] "No! The killing smell!" [retching] "Death is inside Holger's face holes. Holger from school is no mores." [He collapses on the stairs.] "No."
Camillio: "Holger, man, you freaked us out, it's okay, it's just my old gas. It's gross but pretty much totally harmless."
[Three new knocks come on the door.]
Angelina: [scared] "The cycle killer! He's back!" [She hides behind the couch.]
Camillio: "Angelina chill."
Holger: "Ja. It is just so probably just being the pizza guy person."
Camillio: "Cool, you ordered pizza?"
Holger: "Uh no, did Cam?"
[Another three knocks come on the door. Holger joins Angelina behind the couch.]
Camillio: [scared] "Wait for me dudes!"
[Cam joins the others behind the couch. They peek up over the edge.]
Holger: [holding up a pacifier] "No be vorried. Holger bring gift."
Angelina: [insulted] "I'm scared, not a baby!"
[The house creaks, and Angelina takes the pacifier until Holger steals it back for his own use. Meanwhile, at the front door, a yellow-cloaked figure with a hump in its back knocks again.]


[Lee and Biffy are looking through Principal Barrage's files.]
Biffy: "These files don't say anything. Unless you count that it says lunch lady Ruthie has a peanut allergy."
Lee: "Wait. How can that be?"
[Biffy waits a second for Lee to go on.]
Biffy: "Uh, enough with the suspense, how can what be?"
Lee: [pointing at files] "This, this, this and this."
Biffy: "What? Hey, how come every teacher in the school has the same birthday? Feburary 29th."
Lee: "Leap year, the same as my mom! Wait, where's her file?"
[Lee walks over to a file cabinet and begins searching.]
Biffy: "Whoa, and did you see this?" [showing Lee a file] "They all live at the exact same address! Isn't that Brandy's condo?"
Lee: [grabbing a file] "Got it, my mom's file!"
[A hiss is heard from the vents, and a pair of claws pop through the vent cover.]
Biffy: "Heads up. Blue taz attack!"
[The cover pops off, and the Red Tazelwurm slips out.]
Lee: [relaxed] "It's just Taz." [approaching it] "Hey bud, haven't seen you in a while."
[The Red Tazelwurm hisses, and they recoil. It then grabs Mrs. Ping's file and runs out the door.]
Lee: [shocked] "Hey what gives, I need that!" [to Biffy] "What's gotten into him?"
Biffy: "I don't know, but we need that back."
[Lee and Biffy run after the Red Tazelwurm.]


[Jenny is panting as she runs through the woods.]
Jenny: "Not cool! Not cool! So not cool!" [Suddenly, she stops.] "My–my bike? What the hey!" [Her bike is leaning against a tree. She hears a twig crack and picks up a fallen branch to use as a weapon.] "Stay back! I got this–stick, and I will use it!"
The Serpent: [coming out from behind the tree] "Really? Go ahead."


[Holger, Angelina, and Camillio are still hiding behind the couch.]
Angelina: "Maybe he left?"
Camillio: "Ugh, you know what? It's time to take charge, and take this dude down to Camtown." [standing up] "Chicos and chicas, lend me your ears."
Holger: [frightened] "Why? So you can feed Holger's ears to cycle killer?"
[Three knocks come on the basement window. The trio scream and turn around. A figure in a yellow hood is peering in, but its face is obscured.]
Camillio: [determined] "Okay, that's it. No more Mister Nice Cam." [picking up a tennis racket] "Holger, on three open the window, I'm gonna hit the killer with a tennis racket."
Holger: "Okay." [He darts over to the window. Cam stands on his bed.]
Camillio: "On three. One. Two. Three!"
[Holger opens the window, and Cam slams the racket over the figures head.]
Grayson: [pained] "Whaaa! Aah."
Camillio: [surprised] "Whoa, it's Grayson! I–oh. Ooh. Too late. Sorry man."


[Jenny takes The Serpent's suggestion at face value and swings at him. After a couple of swings, he catches the stick.]
The Serpent: "Okay, enough. What's the problem?"
Jenny: "Problem? Flippin' rights I got a problem! Why'd you run off on me?"
The Serpent: "'Cause I found your bike and was trying to give you a surprise. Surprise! I found your bike and fixed it. You're not happy?"
Jenny: [angry] "Ha! Happy? What, that you left me out in the middle of wherever in the stupid rain? Ha! Owls are scary, okay? With their big staring eyes and pointy little beaks! Ho-ho-ho-ho, and don't you get me started about raccoons!"
The Serpent: "You're right. I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you. I know something that might cheer you up."


[Lee and Biffy skid around a corner. They spot the Red Tazelwurm heading for an exit.]
Lee: "Why are you doing this? We're friends! Come back!"
Biffy: "If he gets outside we'll lose him!" [The Red Tazelwurm runs through a door.] "Aw great he got outside."
[The jocks are finishing up with the bonfire.]
Biffy: "Stop that taz!"
[The jocks form a line to stop the Red Tazelwurm.]
Steve: "Tide!" [They try to tackle it and miss.] "Slippery dude! He should try out for the team."
[The Red Tazelwurm runs up to the bonfire, casts the file onto the flames, and runs off.]
Lee: "No!" [let down] "Taz. Why?"
Steve: "Ping! We did it! Where's my ten bucks?"
Lee: [depressed] "Huh? Oh yeah." [He hands over the money.]
Steve: "Booyah! Slushies on me!"
[The jocks run off. Lee and Biffy stare at the fire.]
Lee: "Why would Taz do that?"
Biffy: "Who knows? Maybe Cassandra's experimenting on him again and his brain's gone haywire!"
Lee: "Well, on the bright side–wait. What's the bright side again?"


[Grayson has joined Cam, Holger, and Angelina in the basement. Holger is on Oxenhose.]
Grayson: "So you guys thought I was the cycle killer?" [sarcastic] "Wow. Thanks a lot."
Camillio: "Sorry dude but seriously, why'd you blackmail me man?"
Grayson: "That's why I came over. I wanted to say sorry. I just wanted to make all those kids who teased me back in third grade feel bad."
Camillio: "Whoa. That was you?"
[Cam remembers the previous incidents. This time, he remembers that Grayson was forced to eat the bug sandwich, and that the soup landed in Grayson's lap.]
Memory Steve and Memory Dickie: "Bug eater!"
Memory Grayson: [scalded] "Yaheya!"
[Cam comes back to reality.]
Camillio: [angry] "Hey, I got picked on for my accent, but you don't see me going loco!"
Grayson: "I thought it would make me feel better. But it made me feel worse. I can't sleep at night knowing what I did to you guys! I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you, I swear!"
[The basement door is thrown open.]
Holger, Angelina, Camillio, and Grayson: "AHH! CYCLE KILLER!"
Mrs. Martinez: "Camillio Esmereldo Martinez! What did I say about throwing a fiesta? You are supposed to be grounded!"
Camillio: [downcast] "Aw, man."


[Jenny rides her bike through a puddle.]
Jenny: "Ha ha woo hoo!" [The Serpent rides up beside her.] "Ah, you were right. Riding my bike after a rainstorm does cheer me up."
The Serpent: "Dear diary, today I stopped holding my friend's hand and actually had fun!"
Jenny: "Feh, as if I keep a diary. That's like so ninth grade."
The Serpent: "Really?"
Jenny: "I'm in tenth grade."
The Serpent: "Could've fooled me." [He drives through a puddle and splashes her.]
Jenny: "Hey!"
[The Serpent giggles and speeds away, splashing her again as he goes.]


[Lee and Tina are on a video chat.]
Lee: "So who is this guy?"
Tina: "I don't know, but I do not like the sound of him. So? Have you seen that–stinky ninja guy who stole your hair?"
Lee: "No. But I did start wondering if it had something to do with cloning. Biffy and I snooped through some old teacher's files, and we found out a bunch of teachers, including my mom, have the exact same birthday. Even crazier? A whole bunch live in Brandy's condo."
Tina: "No way."
Lee: "Which part?"
Tina: "The part about you being cloned. You're one in a million, Lee, not one of a million."
Lee: "Wow." [thinking about it] "Thanks."
Tina: "Sure. I–should go."
[Lee's mom reaches in and turns off his lights.]
Lee: "Uh, yeah, me too. G'night Tina."
Tina: "Night Lee."
[Tina closes the chat. Her desktop wallpaper is a picture of Lee. She sighs.]
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.