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Script


Lee: "Okay people, pay attention. It's endgame time. You all know I was framed for pulling off the biggest prank in high school history. Why? I still have no clue. What I do know, is there are kidnapped teachers–" [pictures of the missing teacher, coach, and principal appear] "–a secret government project–" [A picture of Principal Barrage and Vice Principal Victoria working with the missing teachers appears.] "–monsters–" [the Red Tazelwurm] "–robots–" [the cleaners] "–robot monsters–" [a blue tazelwurm] "–and a chart in a brainwashing room that shows who's taking who to the dance." [The chart is shown at work.] "And I know who's behind it all. Two people! Principal General Barrage, and Radcircles." [Pictures of the culprits are shown.] "Also known as–"
Lynch: [opening a video chat] "Knock knock."
Lee: "Lynch. My peanut-munching ex-friend. What are you and Barrage up to?"
Lynch: [unfazed] "Oh Lee. Why can't you ever just say who's there?"
Lee: "Seriously dude, enough with the knock-knock jokes."
Lynch: "Sorry, daddy-o, I must be getting under your skin. I sure hope you're ready for the big dance tonight. It's gonna be a real shindig!"
Lee: "I'm not gonna let you get away with anything."
Lynch: "Oh, so dramatic! Only problem? You can't stop what you can't find!" [smiling] "Ah!" [He laughs.] "Let me write that one down! It's a doozy!"
[Lee signs out of the video chat.]
Lee: "Oh I'll find you. You can count on that."
Detentionaire

8:07 AM
[Lee rolls up to school on his skateboard. He skates up to Zed.]
Lee: "Zed!" [Zed is on his phone, and it's playing the prank song.] "Lynch, you seen him?"
Zed: "Don't know a Lynch, dude."
[Zed skates away, and Lee shrugs. He then enters the school. Inside, seemingly everyone is on their phone, and these phones are playing the song. Lee walks up to the Dudes of Darkness, who hang up when he comes by.]
Lee: "You guys seen Lynch?"
Cyrus: [stiffly] "Lynch. Never heard of him."
Lee: [slapping his forehead] "Wha–you totally have! You gave him a copy of the prank song? For Brandy's party? He was the DJ!" [The rock band walks away.] "Okay, something really weird's going on! I need backup." [Toni and Stinky walk by arm-in-arm.] "You two? Really?" [He chases after them.] "You guys seen the vice principal?" [They don't respond, and he stops.] "Thanks."

[In class, Holger is drawing a picture of himself as Greta's knight. Ed takes a look.]
Ed: "Ha! What's that supposed to be?"
Holger: [hiding his anger] "Brave Holger win Princess Greta back so we live happily ever after in most wonderful luxury condo."
Ed: "Please. Greta is mine." [pulling out a drawing] "And we'll be living in this awesome castle, thank you very much." [The drawing unfurls to show how large the castle is.]
Holger: [competitive] "With heated pool, huh? Workout room?"
Ed: [nodding and unfolding another sheet] "And with dragon guards so you can't come in! Just me and Grets, living it up in Romance City. Population: us."
Holger: [offended] "Greta vould never buy overpriced castle in Romance City! Must live with Holger, in Happytown luxury condo!"
[Ed and Holger snarl at each other. Before things can get ugly, the news comes on.]
Tina: "Good morning A. Nigma High, I'm–"
Chaz: "Already boring. And I'm Chaz Monerainian hi and yes, I did just come from a tanning appointment. Hey thanks for noticing."
Tina: "Our top story–"
Chaz: "Is, I was thinking about dyeing my eyebrows to go with my tan."
Tina: [annoyed] "In actual news, tonight's the big dance, and romance is definitely in the air."
[Lee, meanwhile, is busy running through the halls.]
Chaz: "Who's going with who? Just how amazing is my hair gonna look? These are things that people care about."
[Lee skids around a corner and spots the vice principal on her cell phone.]
Lee: [running up to her] "Man am I glad I found you! I know who's working with Barrage!" [The vice principal ignores him.] "Lynch! He's Radcircles!"
[The vice principal finishes her phone call and turns around.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Lee Ping. I hope you have a bathroom pass young man."
Lee: "What? Are you listening? The guy who framed me and tried to kidnap you is Lynch Webber!"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Kidnap me? My word, why would someone want to do that?"
Lee: [confused] "What do you mean? The brainwashing. Top secret projects? Missing teachers? Tunnels under the school!"
Principal General Barrage: [making an announcement] "All eyes and ears front and center! The superintendent has come back for his final inspection. That means no phones. Anyone caught breaking this order well be expelled. Immediately! Oh, and I almost forgot. Say goodbye to the dance. It's cancelled!"
Vice Principal Victoria: [clutching her temple] "Ooh, that man!" [composing herself] "Lee Ping. While your story is quite interesting, I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about."
Lee: [taken aback] "What?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Perhaps you should join a creative writing group. Now, hurry back to class; I have a dance to uncancel."
Lee: "But–" [She leaves.] "Aw." [worried] "They got to her too. But, how?"
[Lee hears the prank song and turns around to find Tina approaching him, phone in hand.]
Tina: [surprised] "Lee!"
Lee: "Tina! Something crazy is going on. You know Lynch, right?"
Tina: "Who?" [outraged] "Did you hear Barrage? No way is that monster cancelling the dance!"
Lee: "Forget the stupid Save the Forest Dance or whatever, this is bigger!"
Tina: "So, my idea for the dance is stupid?" [She crosses her arms angrily.]
Lee: "I didn't mean it like–"
Tina: [confrontational] "Well, when you and Brandy are slow dancing and enjoying yourselves you can thank me then. Uuk!" [She storms off in a huff.]
Lee: [softly] "I'm not going with her. I wanted to go with you."
Biffy: "Girl troubles?"
[Lee starts. Biffy is behind him, leaning up against some lockers.]
Lee: "You can say that."
Biffy: "Uh, just did. Ha!"
Lee: "What're you doing out of class?"
Biffy: "Same as you, looking for Lynch. But he's a no-show!"
Lee: [ecstatic] "You remember Lynch?!?" [He hugs Biffy's arm.] "Finally, someone!"
[A short boy walks by carrying a bathroom pass. He spots the detentionaires and laughs.]
Biffy: "What–" [He shoves Lee off and speaks with gritted teeth.] "Never do that again! Ever! Being lovey-dovey touchy-feely is not good for my rep!" [He recalls what made Lee hug him.] "Wait. How could I forget who Lynch is?"
Lee: "For some reason no one remembers him. It's like he never existed."
Chaz: [on the intercom] "Would the following report to Room 113b. Camillio Martinez and Brandy Silver." [He chuckles.] "It's me, Chaz, toodles." [The intercom goes dead.]
Biffy: "113b? That's the crazy room where people go missing."
Lee: "And those announcements. Haven't we been hearing them all year?"
[Lee remembers all the times he's heard Tina announce that some students are supposed to come to Room 113b.]
Lee: "It's time to find out what happens when you get called there. Plus, we gotta warn Cam and Brandy!"
Biffy: "Yeah, uh, maybe Brandy but not Cam. You know, that way Kimmie will have to go with someone else to the dance." [Lee looks at him skeptically.] "Uhuhwell, fine. Okay." [They head to the room.] "Man I hate being the good guys."


[In the principal's office, Tina is furious.]
Tina: "The dance must go on."
Principal General Barrage: "Dance's for prissy-prancers. And patchouli snorting lily-livers."
Tina: [turning to the vice principal] "Please, can't you do something?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Don't you know that when Principal Barrage makes a decision, he sticks to it. Apple jerky?"
Principal General Barrage: [taking the bag] "Ooh! This stuff is appley-addictive. Don't mind if I do!" [He turns away from the vice principal and pretends to munch on a piece of jerky.]
Tina: "It isn't fair. Everyone's been looking forward to this! It's been a tradition for over a hundred years."
Vice Principal Victoria: "She does have a point. The dance really should be back on. Don't you agree, Mister Principal?"
Principal General Barrage: [stiffly] "Agree." [His eye is teeming with anger.] "It's back on." [harshly] "On one condition. We pass inspection."
Tina: [nodding eagerly] "Deal!"
Principal General Barrage: "That leaves one thing." [standing up] "Me dealing with Mister Dainty-Wainty Fairy Face-Painty, Clippity Clomp-Clomp–" [mockingly] "Blump Kins."
[The inspector walks in as the general is mispronouncing his name.]
Inspector Blompins: "Ladies! Barrage. Let us get somesing straight. I do not like you, as you do not like me. Yes?"
Principal General Barrage: [nervous] "Me? Not liking you? Ha! Whe! Wha!" [He fakes a laugh.] "That's crazy talk! We're old chums. Best buds. Comrades in arms. Brothers. Old pals. Amigos, if you will."
[The inspector tears off a red slip and hands it to the principal.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Lying to a sanctioned superintendent. A most heinous offense, and cause for vun demerit. Get two more, and it is over for you. Now, cut ze fripple-frapple! Let us commence, ZE INSPECTION!"


[Cam and Brandy are walking down the hall together.]
Brandy: [angrily poking Cam] "You? Kimmie? The dance? She's just using you to make me jealous!"
Camillio: "Yeah well you were just using me 'cause I'm president, so?"
Brandy: "Please! You think Kimmie is going with you because of your short and sassy good looks? She's going with you 'cause you're president! Duh."
Camillio: [puffing out his chest] "Short and sassy, I like that." [They reach the janitor's closet.]
Brandy: [upset] "Are you even listening to me?" [Cam reaches for the doorknob.]
Lee: "Cam, don't go in there! It's a trap!"
Brandy: "So you warn Cam about a trap, but not me."
Camillio: "Bro, chill, it's just some weird janitor's closet."
Biffy: [in Cam's face] "Hello Mister President." [gritting his teeth] "How's Kimmie?"
Camillio: [catching on] "Oh. You and her. Uh-oh, well you're mad! Oh, m'kay, look man I can–" [Biffy cracks his knuckles] "–I can totally explain y'know because I–"
Brandy: "Hold up!" [advancing on Lee] "Me and him are going first! You are like the worst BF ever. The dance is tonight, and you still haven't asked me."
Lee: "Why would I ask you when you've already asked Cam?"
Brandy: [angry, to Cam] "You told him?!?!?"
[Cam gulps nervously.]
Biffy: "And don't forget, he ditched you, for Kimmie!"
Brandy: "Yeah. On second thought, why don't you guys settle this first?"
[Biffy opens the door to the janitor's closet.]
Camillio: "I can explain! Please!"
[Biffy grabs Cam and hauls him inside. Biffy shuts the door behind him.]
Camillio: [begging] "Don't pick up that really big thing!"
[Inside, Biffy proceeds to beat up Cam. Brandy turns back to Lee.]
Brandy: "Hello, it's obvious you like Tina. That's why I asked Cam."
Lee: [insulted] "Obvious? How obvious?" [worried] "Too obvious?"
[Brandy just stares at Lee. Inside of the janitor's closet, Cam is still making excuses.]
Camillio: "Dude, I don't even like Kimmie. I'm not even sure why I asked her, m'kay?"
Biffy: "Oh so now she's not good enough for you?"
Camillio: "Nah dude she's better than me!"
Brandy: [throwing the door open] "What?" [angry] "If Kimmie is better than you, and you diss me, does that make me worse than you or something?!?"
Camillio: "Uh–"
Brandy: [cracking her knuckles] "Okay, move over." [She advances on Cam.] "I want in."
[Lee enters the room after her. The door shuts behind him, trapping the four of them in the room.]
Lee: [pulling on the door] "We're locked in." [getting an idea] "Wait, my key." [He pulls it out.] "Anyone see a weird looking keyhole?"
[Suddenly, the lights go out. They are replaced with a strobing green light and the sound of the prank song. Brandy, Biffy, and Camillio all stare ahead blankly as it plays.]
Lee: [gasping] "The prank song?" [worried] "Guys? Guys! Biffy! Not you too!"


[After the song ends and the lights come back on, Lee's friends are still caught in a trance.]
Lee: [waving his hand in front of his friends' eyes] "Brandy? Cam? Biffy!" [He snaps his fingers.] "I thought he couldn't be brainwashed!" [He takes a closer look at Biffy.]
Biffy: "Boo!" [Lee falls backwards, and Biffy laughs.]
Lee: "Not funny."
Biffy: "Sorta funny?"
Lee: "Fine. A little. So? Ready to find out what happens next?"
Biffy: "Don't have much of a choice, do I?" [The floor shifts.] "Whoa-whoaow! We're going down!"
[The floor of the closet is indeed descending, as though it's an elevator.]


[Greta is walking down the hall when she hears a noise.]
Holger: "Blurrrrrb! Whinnneyheehee!" [He is wearing a wooden horse prop and chasing after her.]
Greta: "Holger, what are you doing?"
Holger: "Holger has come to offer Greta ride to next class. Most romantic, yes?"
Ed: "Who wants a lame piggyback ride when you can go in style?" [He wheels up a carriage.] "My lady, your carriage awaits."
[Greta takes Ed up on his offer and lets him wheel her away.]
Holger: [annoyed] "He will never defeat Holger's love!" [taking out a carrot] "Here, Oxenhose. For your strengths." [He pretends to feed the carrot to the horse.] "Yes. Ssh, ssh."


[The principal and the vice principal lead the inspector into the gym.]
Inspector Blompkins: "Let us make zis fast and sveet. I have a croquet game to attend, and I'd love to have you fired for ineptness before then. Yes? Now."
[A phone goes off somewhere.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Superintendent, phones ringing in the school, isn't that a big no-no?"
Inspector Blompkins: "It most certainly is. Another demerit!" [He tears off a red sheet and hands it to the principal.] "Zat's two. Vun more and–"
Principal General Barrage: [taking the slip] "Where're my manners?" [He holds up the bag of jerky.] "Jerky?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Wait–"
[The inspector bites into a piece of jerky. His eyes glaze over.]
Principal General Barrage: "Now listen up, Blompkins. That wasn't a phone. It was a Northern Palamino Grey Owl! Crying out for his big-eyed mama!" [grinning wickedly] "Not worth a demerit point, don't you agree, Mister Superintendent."
Inspector Blompkins: [stiffly] "Yes, of course. Mmm, so appley."
Principal General Barrage: [bearing an angry smile] "Why VP Victoria, it seems your special jerky is a big hit with the super." [He tears up the demerit.] "Don't you agree?" [The principal laughs evilly and leads the group out of the gym.] "Now, if you'll come this way."


[Brad and Tina meet backstage after each receiving another call on their phones that plays them the prank song.]
Brad: "Okay, Tina Miss Bobina Suprema. Time to transform the place. Where you keeping all the decorations?"
[Lynch is secretly observing the proceedings.]
Tina: "They were supposed to be delivered last night." [Lynch slips away.] "Nothing's shown up yet! Uh..." [She checks her phone.] "They were cancelled? This morning? By Barrage?!? Ghhhf!"
Lynch: [walking up] "Hey! Maybe I can help."
Brad: [suspicious] "Who're you?"
Lynch: "I just transferred here a couple days back."
Tina: "Really? You look kinda familiar. Don't I know you?"
Lynch: "Don't think so. But look what I have!" [He holds up a can of soda.] "A winning can of Splat! And the winner gets to throw his high school one of those humdinger mobile dance parties!"
Tina: "Great, but it's not like they're gonna magically appear this sec–"
[A bunch of blue-clad workmen rush into the gym and descend from the rafters.]
Brad: "New guy rocks! The dance is on!"
Tina: [smiling weakly] "Cool. I guess. But doesn't it seem weird that they just showed up? And that guy looks so familiar."


[The janitor's closet floor eventually arrives at its destination. A door slides open, and a room beneath the school is revealed. Lee and Biffy duck out of the way as the floating orb scans Cam and Brandy.]
Orb: "Welcome subjects. Brandy Silver and Camillio Martinez. Please exit."
[The orb leads them away. Lee sneaks out of the closet and hides behind the call center.]
Biffy: [whispering] "Hey! Hold up!"
[Biffy follows Lee behind the call center. They then rush over to a desk and watch from behind that.]
Orb: "Subjects. Query. Why have you not been answering your transmitters?"
Camillio: [robotically] "Broke my phone, bro-bro."
Brandy: [robotically] "I never answer blocked calls, I screen."
Orb: "Calculating solution. A, issue new transmitting device. B, unblocking call number."
[The orb reaches over with two of its wire tentacles and takes a pair of phones from a stack. It hands the phones over to its subjects.]
Orb: "Beginning test phase."
Lee: [starting to stand up] "We should stop this."
Biffy: [pulling him down] "Not until we see how it works."
[The orb floats over to the call center and plugs into Cam and Brandy's pictures. Their phones ring.]
Brandy and Camillio: [answering] "Hello?" [The prank song plays through their phones.]
Lee: "I knew it! They're actually brainwashing people through their phones!"
Biffy: [looking at the call board] "What's with all those pictures?"
Lee: "I know! Matchups that would never happen in a million years! Something bad might be happening at the dance tonight."
[Biffy spots Kimmie's picture next to Holger's.]
Biffy: "So if Holger's supposed to be going with Kimmie, why's she going with Cam?"
Lee: "'Cause Cam's been using Holger's phone since he broke his."
Biffy: "Oh, so it's not his fault? Urf! I was so looking forward to beating him up!"
[Biffy slams his fists down on the desk. This causes several books on the desk to jump, and the orb turns to look at them.]
Orb: "Security breach. Initiate defense mode."
[The orb retracts its calling tentacles and pulls out four new ones with spinning sawblades on the end.]
Biffy: [whispering] "I bet that hurts if it touches you."
Lee and Biffy: "Whoa!"
[The orb sends a sawblade at the desk and saws through it rapidly. Lee and Biffy start running.]


[Holger and Ed are on the football field. Greta is watching them.]
Ed: "Whoever jumps higher is Greta's one and only!"
[The racers get set to take off. Ed takes one step and trips on a rock.]
Holger: "OYYYYOYYYYYOYHOLGER!" [He leaps into the air and lands crotch-first on the pole vault's bar. He collapses with a whimper.] "Oho! Oh! Broken gulfen."
Inspector Blompkins: [observing] "Unsupervised athleticism. Most dangerous. Most unsafe."
Vice Principal Victoria: "I try to tell him, but he has such flagrant disrespect for school safety. Definitely worth one demerit point." [She snatches for the bag of jerky, but the principal yanks it away.] "Don't you agree?"
Principal General Barrage: "I say whatever doesn't kill the little kiddies, makes 'em stronger." [He feeds the inspector a piece of jerky.] "Don't you agree, Mister Superintendent?"
Inspector Blompkins: [chewing] "Agreed!" [He tosses the would-be demerit away.] "Next."


[Underneath the school the orb sends its sawblades at Lee and Biffy. They duck to avoid them and roll away, stopping near a processor.]
Biffy: "Dude, this isn't good!"
Orb: "Alert." [It puts the sawblades away.] "Enemy subjects too close to CPU memory unit. Commence safety protocol."
[A wire snakes out from the orb and plugs into the command center. A clear barrier forms around the memory unit.]
Lee: "Its' brain! We gotta destroy it!"
Biffy: "On it." [He slams his shoulder into the barrier.] "Ow!"
[The orb sends a wire flying at them. Lee dives out of the way and knocks Biffy to the ground. Biffy looks up and sees a fire ax on the wall above them.]
Biffy: [smiling dangerously] "Keep it busy! I got an angle!"


[In the gym, the workers are busy setting up the rainforest decorations.]
Tina: [speaking into a tape recorder] "Audio Log, Friday, 9:41. Okay, things are definitely getting weird. Random strangers swooping in right on time, and there's something really off about the new guy."
[At the moment, Lynch is rubbing his hands together sinisterly while talking with Brad.]
Brad: "This dance is gonna rule!"
Lynch: "Rule the school, fool! Hey, so who ya taking to the dance? Tina seems to have a shine for ya."
Brad: "Yeah, she's sweet and all, but I'm a Chillstein. I sorta need someone...better. You know, for the public stuff?"
Tina: [angry] "Ugh! So that's how you really feel?!?"
[Brad gets a call on his cell phone. He answers it, and the prank song plays. He then hangs up and turns to Tina.]
Brad: [casually] "Hey Tina, will you go to the dance with me?"
Tina: "But you just said–" [She gets a phone call. Lynch rubs his hands together eagerly.]
Lynch: "Aren't you gonna answer that?"
[Tina looks at Brad, who is smiling at her. Lynch takes the initiative, presses the answer button, and gently pushes the phone towards Tina's ear. Tina hangs up and pretends to listen before lowering the phone.]
Lynch: "So? Will you go with him?"
Tina: [robotically] "I will go with you, Brad." [Her mouth smiles. Her eyes do not.]
Lynch: [stepping away from Brad and Tina] "The last piece of the puzzle. Lee's girl with another guy!" [The fake smile drops completely, and Tina glares at Lynch's back as he laughs.] "I love being bad."


[Biffy has almost broken through the clear shell. The orb is attacking him now, though.]
Biffy: "Get this thing off my back!"
[The orb works to better target the bully. Suddenly, a green liquid splatters over its vision. It turns around and spots Lee.]
Lee: [shaking a soda can] "Thirsty?" [He throws the can at the orb. It retreats to the call center.] "I've got him on the run!"
[The orb plugs cables into Brandy and Cam's pictures. They take the calls, sit up in their chairs, and look at Biffy and Lee angrily.]
Lee: [scared] "Oh no."
Brandy: [panting heavily] "Huh. Huh. Huh."
Camillio: [zombielike] "Uhhhhhhh, bro."
Lee: [panicked] "Stop! It's me!" [They advance on him.] "Snap out of it! Uh, queen of hearts. Butterscotch?" [back to the wall] "Anything! Help!"


[Barrage leads Blompkins into the cafeteria. Blompkins is chewing on a piece of jerky.]
Principal General Barrage: "Ah, the cafeteria. Purty. No need to inspect. Actually, the school is fine. No infractions. I pass. Now, why don't you write me one of them green slippy-slip thingys so you can be on your way. Don't you agree, Mister Superintendent?"
Inspector Blompkins: [stiffly] "A greed."
Vice Principal Victoria: [grabbing at the bag of jerky] "You're forgetting that you wanted to see the secret entrance to those underground tunnels in the library. Don't you agree, Mister Superintendent?"
Inspector Blompkins: [stiffly] "A greed!" [He walks off.]
Principal General Barrage: [to the vice principal] "He won't agree for long." [sweetly] "More jerky?"
Inspector Blompkins: "Actually–" [He clears his throat.] "I think I've had my fill. Please, show me zese tunnels."
Vice Principal Victoria: [leading him off] "Right this way."
[The general growls.]


[Cam and Brandy are still advancing on Lee. Thinking quickly, Lee picks up a can of Green Apple Splat, shakes it up, and opens it onto them. Brandy and Cam are shocked by the spray, which gets in their eyes, and they stumble backwards. Meanwhile, Biffy has finally broken through the barrier, but the orb's attention is on him, and it is warming up to unleash its wrath upon the boy. Before it can do so, however, Lee chucks the rest of the can through the hole Biffy created, and it splatters onto the memory unit. The memory unit begins spitting sparks.]
Biffy: "Ha ha! Nice shot, buddy!"
Orb: [shorting out] "Emergency shutdown protocol in effect. Wireless connection severed."
[The orb shuts off and clunks to the ground. Cam and Brandy snap out of their trance.]
Camillio: "Huh? How did we get here?"
Brandy: [feeling her hair] "That better not be Green Apple Splat in my hair!"
Biffy: "Who da team!" [He chest bumps Lee, knocking Lee to the floor.]


Ed: "This, is dedicated, to a special, someone." [He smacks his lips and purrs. Ed is at the front of a classroom with a ukulele. He begins to sing.] "My love, is a sparkling creek, of H. 2. O. Bountiful. Quenching. Bubbly–" [Holger runs in and shoves him to the ground.]
Holger: "Okay. No more! Holger has poem cake."
[Holger waves for somebody to come in, and Cyrus enters the room with his guitar. The lights shut off, and a spotlight shines on Holger. Cyrus begins to play.]
Holger: [singing] "If you von't go, with Holger to dance, zhen put me in the zoo. 'Cause–"
Holger and Cyrus: "I'm an animal without you!"
[The stage lights up, revealing that Holger is fronting the Dudes of Darkness.]
Holger: "When you waggle your unibrow, you–"
Holger and Cyrus: "Make problems go away."
Cyrus: "Yes they do!"
Holger and Cyrus: "Oh please Greta won't you say yeah, yeah." [Holger moves close to Greta.] "Come to the dance, and be my. Honey Roasted Sunshine Funtimes? My Honey Roasted Sunshine Funtimes Happy Dayyyy!"
[The other students hold up their cell phones. On the screens are pictures of lit lighters.]
Holger: [on his knees] "Greta, vill you go vith me to dance?"
Greta: [taking his hand] "Oh Holger, that was the most romantic thing I've ever seen. Yes!"
[Holger happily leaps into his girlfriend's arms.]
Holger: "Yimminy biscuits!"


[Lee and Biffy have just finished explaining the situation.]
Camillio: "No way! They brainwashed me again? I totally hate that!"
Lee: "If we can bring Blompkins down here, and show him all of this, it's over for Barrage! C'mon guys."


[Lee leads them into the next room over, where the cleaners are still hanging. A shadowy figure confronts them.]
Lynch: "Knock knock."
Lee: "Lynch."
Lynch: "Sorry, but ya didn't say who's there. So I'm gonna have to penalize you for not playing!"
[Lynch presses a button on his phone, and four cleaners wake up. They dismount from the rack and approach Lee and his friends, who scream in terror and run. Lynch laughs maniacally.]
Lee: [running down a corridor] "This way. Hurry." [He ducks a crystal beam.] "Man, I really hate these guys."
Camillio: "Worse than those killer robot tazes? Aw man I'd rather be crystalized than shredded to death."
Brandy: "Good point. Me too."
Camillio: "Aw see, maybe we do have stuff in common yo." [He chuckles, then screams as a crystal blast almost hits him.] "Run!"
Biffy: [stopping] "Yeah go, I got this."
[Biffy pries off a circular vent cover and slings it at the pursuing hazmats like a frisbee. The vent cuts cleanly through their necks, decapitating them. He then runs after the rest of the group, which has reached the door to the library. Lee takes out his key and puts it in the latch, but Biffy remembers that there are still two pursuers. He heads back a short distance and pulls on a ceiling vent. The vent drops into the hallway, and the hall begins to fill with steam.]
Biffy: "Nice one! If I do say so myself."
[The door opens, and Lee, Brandy, and Cam enter the library.]
Tunnel Security System: "Emergency lock in effect. Override protocols."
[The door begins to shut.]
Lee: "Biffy! No!"
Camillio: "'C-c'mon c'mon c'mon!"
Brandy: "Ack!"
[Biffy isn't fast enough to reach the door before it slides shut completely. He spots three hazmats and gulps nervously.]
Biffy: "This can't be good."
Brandy: [sad] "Oh my gosh."
[Lee tries to get his key to work but gets no response.]
Lee: "C'mon, c'mon!"
Inspector Blompkins: "What is all the commotioney racket?" [The door slides open.] "And vy is zere a secret room?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "I was trying to tell you that."
Inspector Blompkins: "Barrage! Vat are you hiding?"
[Cam and Brandy get phone calls. They answer as Lee speaks, and the prank song plays.]
Lee: "Barrage is hypnotizing people! And a student is trapped behind this door! Make him open it now!"
Principal General Barrage: "I assure you, this isn't a door! And this isn't a secret room. It's a study hall."
Lee: "He's lying. Guys, tell him it's true!"
[Cam and Brandy hang up.]
Camillio: [casually] "Huh. I'm late for class."
Brandy: [stiffly] "Me too. Oh hey Cam. Will you go to the dance with me?"
Camillio: "For sure, chica."
[Cam and Brandy leave.]
Lee: "Ugrh! He just did that! He-he's hypnotizing people! You're the superintendent! You gotta stop him."
Principal General Barrage: [strained] "This is Lee Ping, the funny prankster I'm sure you've heard so much about. There're no secret rooms or brainwashing going on. The kid likes to make up stories. Don't you agree, vice principal?"
Inspector Blompkins: "Oh, Mister Bad Egg Detentionaire himself eh? Ha. Ze displeasure is all mine." [He writes something on his clipboard.]
Lee: "I'm telling you the truth! If you'd just make him open this door!"
[Lee pushes against the wall, trying to open the door again. He slips and falls onto a table, breaking it and sending two beakers of chemicals flying. One beaker breaks against the inspector's chest and stains his yellow suit green.]
Inspector Blompkins: [angry] "Aaaah! Do you know how much zis suit cost?" [seething] "Barrage. I can see ze only problem at A. Nigma High is vun bad egg. And his name is Lee Ping."
Principal General Barrage: "Don't worry sir. Ping will suffer."
Inspector Blompkins: "No. Zat's not what I had in mind. Vut happens to bad eggs, Barrage?"
Principal General Barrage: "They get eggs-pelled? Isn't that a little easy when we could just make him really suffer, super hard-like?"
Inspector Blompkins: "Hmm-hm. I admire your loyalty to your students. And to zere suffering. But Lee Ping is gone for good! Expelled!"
[Lee gasps in shock.]
To Be Continued...
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