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Script


Lee: "Ever wonder what a year of detention for a prank you never pulled is like? Lemme sum it up for ya: it pretty much bites. But detention membership does have its privileges. Like, meeting a pack of phone-cracking geniuses who put me one step closer to unmasking my number one archenemy." [Pictures of the Genius Club doing this are shown.] "Radcircles. And discovering underground tunnels with secret rooms and nefarious plans for the dance this Friday." [Pictures of Lee doing this appear.] "What, this stuff doesn't happen at your school? Something's fishy at A. Nigma High, and it's not just Lunch Lady Ruthie's soup du jour. Principal Barrage and RadC are up to something big!"
Detentionaire

10:30:17 AM
Lee: "Here I go again, exploring the underground tunnels when I should be in class. And this time, I have someone with me who I think may trust Barrage even less than I do."
Vice Principal Victoria: [walking through the tunnels with Lee] "This place is far too dangerous!"
Lee: "C'mon! Radcircles is just up ahead!"
[Lee runs to the mouth of another tunnel and stops. The vice principal jogs up to him.]
Lee: [hearing a hiss] "Blue taz! Run!" [The tazelwurm emerges, revealing its true color to be red.] "Oh. Red Taz. False alarm, we're totally friends."
[The Red Tazelwurm leaps at the vice principal.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "AAAAAHHH!" [The Red Tazelwurm bites at her skirt.] "AAAAAAHHH!"
Lee: "I take it back! Run!"
Earlier that day...8:02 AM
[Lee is on the phone with Biffy.]
Biffy: "So? What's the word, you crack Radcircles' identity or what?"
Lee: "Or what. Seriously, it's like Rad wiped all his personal info off his phone, and replaced it with knock knock jokes! Dude really needs to see a shrink about that. Oh, and then there's all these teen-speak dictionaries."
Biffy: "Oh, can you look up the definition of nonversation? It's Kimmie's favorite thing to say to me."
[Biffy and Lee are walking right beside each other.]
Lee: [sighing] "Sure. Nonversation. Boring conversation with no discernible or apparent value. Sound about right?"
Biffy: [insulted] "Wha-umph! Whatever! D'ja–check the call log yet?"
Lee: "Yeah, of course. Only two numbers. Mine, and one that's been disconnected."
Biffy: "What about emails?"
Lee: "Whatever was there's been erased." [lowering the phone] "Seriously, can we just walk together?"
[In response, Biffy ducks into the bushes as LaGreenor and Nadine walk by.]
Biffy: [irritated, on the phone] "Hello, reputation to protect? What about the calendar, check that yet?"
Lee: "No, not yet, I was just gonna–"
Biffy: "Well get to it! Do I have to think of everything? Biffy out."
[Biffy emerges from the bushes and runs off. Lee sighs.]
Lee: [to himself] "Why does every single person in this school have to be so weird?"

[Lee has made it to his first class. He takes out Radcircles' phone.]
Lee: "Okay, calendar, let's see whatcha got!"
[The news comes on.]
Tina: [in the gym] "Good morning, A. Nigma High–"
Chaz: [interrupting] "Hi! I'm Chaz Monerainian, and boy have we got a special presentation for you!" [to Tina] "Oh, and by the way, you're welcome." [Tina shoves him out of the picture.]
Tina: "It's the first dance of the year, and as is tradition, the dance theme is to be decided by the students. That's you, and as everyone knows–"
Chaz: [stepping in front of Tina] "I'm Chaz Monerainian. The one. The only. The Ch-Chaz." [He laughs.] "And, the rules are simple and boring. So I'll let your snore ambassador, Tina explain."
Tina: "That's what I was trying to do?"
Chaz: [chuckling] "Great. Just wake me up when you're finished." [He fakes a snore and laughs.]
Tina: [clearing her throat] "Ahem. Students will get thirty seconds to pitch their ideas and afterwards you'll all use your new phones to vote on which theme you like–"
Chaz: "They pitch, you choose. Tina talks, me snooze. Hi. I'm the Chaz, oh, did I already mention that?"
Tina: [unamused] "Several times already. Anyway, before we officially kick off the show, a quick word from–"
Principal General Barrage: [snatching the microphone] "Listen up. Due to the pre-sent-ation all morning classes ARE CAN-CELLED!"
Vice Principal Victoria: "So everyone, get comfy in your homeroom class and enjoy the show."
[Lee finds something while scrolling through the calendar.]
Lee: "Bingo!" [He calls Biffy.]
Biffy: [answering] "Dude this theme stuff is so lame."
Lee: "Yeah, yeah check this out. A calendar event five days before the school year started. Lee Ping to meet Principal Wurst in Room 113b?"
Biffy: "That's weird. Rad must've tricked the old principal into thinking you were meeting with him."
Lee: "And then the guy vanishes?"
Biffy: "Dude, Rad started setting you up even before school started! Heh, man, that guy really hates you."
Lee: "Yeah, I'm not nuts about him either."


Chaz: [broadcasting] "The question on everyone's lips is, who will present the winning theme? Folks, I'm backstage where the battle has begun, and you would not believe the hair-pulling, badmouthing, sabotage-doing awesomenss I'm being subjected to right now. It is vicious people!"
[Zed laughs as he tosses his pen in the air. Steve taps him on the shoulder.]
Steve: "Think you dropped your pen, friend."
Zed: "Thanks!" [He picks it up.] "Good luck, pal."
Steve: "Yeah. You too."
Tina: [observing] "Looks fine from this end."
Chaz: "Trust me Tina, it's not." [to the camera] "This place is a den of pure ravenous evil! Each clique, waiting for the perfect time, to strike like a viper! Pssssaaah!"
[Chaz walks over to the mathletes. While they're distracted, he picks up their idea sheet and tosses it over to the cheerleaders. He then taps Irwin on the shoulder and points to the cheerleaders.]
Irwin: "Hey, they're stealing our ideas!" [He goes over to confront the cheerleaders.]
Chaz: "Like I said, pure bedlam back here!"
[Meanwhile, Lee and Biffy are still talking.]
Lee: "There's more calendar events. One to meet Coach Pummel, and another–whoa. Mrs. Lob, the drama teacher?"
Biffy: "The two other missing teachers."
Lee: "And both say to meet in Room 113b."
Biffy: "What is up with Room 113b?"
Lee: "I dunno, but we have to find out."
Biffy: "Yeah okay. So uh, meet you there in five." [They hang up.] "Yo! Teach! Bathroom pass me."
Lee: [putting one hand up and the other between his legs] "Uh, Mister Langhorne? Hhhh!"


[The emos are the first ones to present their theme idea.]
Giuseppe: "Life is a stage, and I am its puppet." [The emos begin making shadow puppets with their hands.] "But the true puppet of darkness is the one whose strings we pull in the Shadow Puppet Dance of Souls."
Tina: [watching] "Uh. Wow?"
Chaz: "Hey. Nice sarcasm Tina, but we all know what everyone really wants to know. It's been a tradition twenty-five years running that the pitch the school prez joins always seems to win." [Stepak focuses his camera on Cam.] "So El Presidente, which lucky group will get an unfair advantage by having you in it this year?"
Holger: "Cam! Cam!" [He and Greta run up.] "Be in our group!" [He and Greta are dressed in their spy outfits.] "We will have pretty unitard for you to wear!"
Camillio: "I told you bro, I am so not wearing that, like, ever! Why do you even have that anyways?"
Toni: [walking up] "Hiya Cam."
Chaz: "For those just tuning in, Toni, member of the illustrious cheerleading squad, has just entered the scene."
Tina: "I think everyone can see that."
Chaz: [shoving Tina away] "Okay back off T-snore. This is my segment."
Toni: "Cam, will you pretty please with infinity cherries on top be in our routine?"
Chaz: [shoving his microphone into Cam's face] "Cam! Your answer?"
Camillio: [rubbing his cheek] "Lemme think about it. Hmm, gee, have a group of cheerleaders toss me around in the air?" [He snickers.] "El Presidente is so in, man."
[Cam and Toni walk off. Holger tosses Cam's unitard onto the ground.]
Holger: "Whaharrumph!"
[Meanwhile, Chaz leads Stepak over to the Glamazons.]
Chaz: "Kimmie, are you worried Cam's prezzy popularity could put the cheerleaders over the top in votes?" [Brandy's phone begins ringing.]
Kimmie: "I wasn't, but now I am." [She stows the phone in her backpack.] "Brandy, answer that."
Brandy: "I don't answer blocked calls. I screen."
Kimmie: "Fine. Just get the president in our act. And fyi, I don't care how."
Chaz: [laughing] "This is getting good. Brandy, any choice words for Toni and our home audience?"
Brandy: [grabbing the microphone] "Yeah, you tell little Miss RahRah McPomPoms, that we. Are. On." [She walks away.]
Chaz: "On is right! Right here on–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" [happily] "With Chaazzz."


[Lee and Biffy walk up to a nondescript door between two classrooms.]
Lee: [looking at the classroom doors] "One thirteen, one fourteen. This has to be it, right?"
Biffy: "Yeah less talking, more opening."
[Lee's hand descends towards the doorknob. As if on cue, two eyebots approach him and Biffy.]
Lee: "Aw man!"


[The eyebots fire at the floor. Lee and Biffy take off as the eyebots pursue.]
Lee: "I swear it's like they can smell whenever we're about to discover something really cool!"
[Biffy thinks. He then reaches into his coat, pulls out his hall pass, and stops.]
Biffy: "Hall pass power! Ha-ha!"
[Lee follows Biffy's lead. The eyebots scan the hall passes, accept them, and move on.]
Biffy: [to Lee's bemused look] "Wh-what? I always wanted to say that."
Lee: "Okay one thirteen b. What is your big secret?"
[Lee and Biffy head back and open the door.]
Lee: [unimpressed] "A janitor's closet?" [At the back of the closet is a portrait of Earl Nigma.]
Biffy: "Dude's like the rear admiral of–cleanliness."
Lee: "Wait. Did those eyes just move?" [He and Biffy take a closer look at the picture.]
Biffy: "Moving eye pictures? Please! This isn't the Haunted House Terror Ride of Pants-Peeing."
Lee: "But–I don't get it! Three people show up here, and then disappear?"
Biffy: "If I've learned anything at this school, it's that a janitor's closet is never just a janitor's closet! I'm sure if I just pull this mop handle, a secret door will open!"
[Biffy yanks on the mop handle, and it splatters him with dirty water. Biffy chokes on the water.]
Biffy: "Aw, come on! Not cool!"
Lee: [frustrated] "There's gotta be something." [taping at the picture frame] "A hidden button...a secret lock?"
Biffy: "Ah. How about a loose brick!" [He slaps the wall and gets nothing.] "Huh. Well it worked for Brick McSlam in–" [imitating a Scottish brogue] "–Sir Bricksalot."
Lee: [unimpressed] "That's your best Scottish?"
Biffy: "Aye. Like you kin do bettar?"
Lee: "Ahem." [Scottish] "They may break our spirit, but they'll never break, our bricks!"
Biffy: "Ha ha! Please. That just sounded Jamaican." [pulling his cat out of his coat pocket] "Whose was better, Rumps? Huh?" [The cat leaps into Lee's hands and rubs against Lee's face.] "Traitor."


[The mathletes are the next ones up. They have repurposed their laptop concept from the Battle of the Bands.]
Irwin: "In the future, man will not dance for fun, but for glory! Battledome Two Thousand and Seventy-Five: the Dancepocalypse!"
[Techno begins playing, and the mathletes do the robot.]
Tina: [annoyed] "Last time I checked, dances were supposed to be romantic, not a fight in some battledome where–"
[Tina's train of thought is interrupted by a loud, overly fake laugh from Toni, who is hanging on Cam's every word.]
Brandy: [walking up] "Ring ring." [She gasps melodramatically and puts her hand over her mouth.] "A hyena called. It wants its laugh back."
Chaz: "Ouch, the claws are out, it's meow time! Rowr!"
Toni: "So, take a message!"
Brandy: "They say it's urgent."
Toni: "Tell them I'm in a meeting!"
Brandy: "I'm not lying for you!"
Camillio: [intervening] "Chiquitas, chiquitas, there's enough Cam to go around! I'll be like in both your pitches!"
Chaz: "Ennh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news el prez–just kidding. I love it! But each student can only be in one pitch." [to the camera] "Which. One. Will. Cam. Choose?"
Camillio: "Dude you gotta chill with that whole pressure thing man."
Chaz: "Undecided? Allow the Chaz to lay it out for you. You could side with the cheerleaders, who've got major clique clout. But the Glamazons have way more. Will El Prez go with the obvious choice, or will he help out the underdog oh it is so on, baby!"


[Biffy is messing around with Radcircles' phone while Lee tries to find the secret of Room 113b.]
Lee: "Hey! Feel free to help me find the secret button anytime."
Biffy: "Dude, Rad has like a million Green Apple Splat apps." [He chuckles.] "This one's actually kinda cool."
[The app Biffy has opened allows him to pour out a virtual bottle of Green Apple Splat.]
Lee: "Who likes something that much?" [The phone beeps.] "What was that?"
Biffy: "Calendar reminder. About a meeting today with–VP Victoria! At–what?!? Ten-fifteen!"
Lee: "That's ten minutes from now! We gotta warn her before she disappears like everyone else!"
[Suddenly, they are distracted by the latest presentation.]
Holger: "La!"
Greta: "Honey! Roasted!"
Holger: "Roasted!"
Greta: "Running! Running!"
Holger: "Jorf Borf!"
Biffy: "Okay, that is never gonna win. But look!" [Greta and Holger run past the principal and vice principal.] "VP!"
[Lee tries to place a call to Cam but gets no response.]
Lee: "Oh yeah! Cam's phone's broken and Holger's doing–" [He looks back at the screen.] "I'm not really sure what he's doing."
Biffy: [looking at the phones] "Okay, time to sync and split. Ping's choice. Warn VP, or bust Rad."
Lee: "Bust Rad. Dude's so going down!"
Biffy: "Aw man! I wanted to do that. Oh well. C'mon Rumps. We got ourselves a vice principal to save."


[At the presentations, Holger and Greta finish and receive a bunch of cheers from the audience. As they run past the vice principal, she receives a phone call from a shadowy figure behind the curtain. The vice principal casts an eye towards the figure and then leaves.]
Brandy and Toni: "Cam!" [Cam is nowhere to be found.]
Brandy: "Just so you know when we find him, he's totally in our group."
Toni: [angry] "He's so like totally not!" [Holger and Greta walk up.]
Brandy and Toni: "Where's Cam!?!"
Holger: "Pfft. What does Holger look like? Professor I Know Vere Cam Is Being Alvays?"
[Brandy and Toni walk off. Biffy walks up to Holger and Greta.]
Biffy: [worried] "You seen the vice principal?"
Holger: "Pfft. What does Holger look like, Professor–" [An angry Biffy gets in his face and growls.] "Um, Holger not know."
[Biffy leaves.]
Camillio: "Psst! Holg!" [He is hiding behind some boxes. Holger and Greta walk over.] "I need some advice man. Brandy wants me to be in her Glamazon pitch and Toni wants me to be in hers! What do I do?"
Holger: "Hmm." [He laughs gleefully.] "Okay! Who does Cam have the most bigger crush for, Toni, or Brandy?"
Camillio: "Dude, whoa, Brandy's Lee's, you know, sorta, girl, I don't have a crush on her."
Greta: "As a member of the student body that elected you, I would hope you'd align yourself with the idea that has the most merit."
Camillio: "Totally. How do I do that?"
Greta: "Um, listen to their pitches?"
Camillio: "Oh right, yeah, and whoever has like the hottest outfits, pick them?"
Greta: "No. Whatever idea is better."
Camillio: "Meh, that could work too. Maybe like a fifty-fifty split though, right?"
Chaz: [walking up] "Totally. And I'll host the event live, on–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!" [normally] "Decision: School Dance. President's Final Choice. Boom shaka laka laka boom shaka laka laka Chaz! Whoa!" [He leaves.]
Biffy: [walking around backstage] "C'mon, c'mon where is she?" [getting an idea] "This always gets her attention." [He sticks his head out from behind a curtain and yells at the kid onstage.] "YO!" [normally] "Any time now." [The vice principal doesn't bust him. He calls Lee.] "Yo dude? VP's awol. She must be on her way to you already!"
Lee: [whispering] "Yeah, I got her right here."
[Lee is watching from behind a door. A shadowy figure approaches, and he gasps. Both the figure and the vice principal notice, and the figure quickly leaves.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Lee Ping, are you spying on me?"
Lee: [exiting the janitor's closet] "What, this isn't the washroom." [He holds up his hall pass.] "My bad, I'll just–" [He takes off.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Wait!" [exasperated] "Don't make me chase you in heels, young man!"


[The newest suggestion group consists of Nadine and her friends dancing to hip-hop.]
Tina: [annoyed] "Ugh! Can't anyone pitch anything remotely–romantic? Not everyone knows how to breakdance. I want the first dance of the year to be meaningful for me and Lee."
Stepak: [shocked] "Lee?!? I thought you had a thing for Brad."
Tina: "Uh, I mean, Brad. Brad-ley. I like to use his full name, it's more formal."


[Lee walks into the library. He looks around the room.]
Lee: "I know you're in here Rad."
Vice Principal Victoria: [running in] "Lee Ping! What on earth are you doing? It's time you explained yourself!"
Mrs. Alice: "Ssh."
Vice Principal Victoria: "Excuse us, Mrs. Alice." [whispering] "Lee. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help you with it."
Lee: [looking around nervously] "Okay, fine. This is gonna sound nuts but it's all true." [taking a deep breath] "There's a crazed lunatic after you he kidnaped Principal Wurst and the other missing teachers and–"
Vice Principal Victoria: [shocked] "Kidnapped? By whom?"
[The shadowy figure creeps between a pair of bookshelves. Suddenly, it knocks a book over, and Lee and the vice principal look towards the noise as it disappears from the scene.]
Lee: "By him!"


[Biffy runs up to Room 113b.]
Biffy: [panting] "Lee? Vice Principal? Anyone?" [He places a call and gets no answer.] "Aw this isn't good c'mon answer!"
[The one who isn't answering is Lee. The reason he isn't answering is because he is running after Radcircles.]
Lee: [pushing open the door to the Genius Club's hangout] "He went in here! C'mon!"
Vice Principal Victoria: [running after him] "Who is this, Lee, where are we?" [She spots the beheaded cleaner in the Genius Club room.]
Lee: "Uh, long story." [He takes out his key.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "What is that thing?" [Lee puts the key into the lock and opens the door.] "Lee Ping, this is getting–very, seriously out of hand!"
Lee: "Oh, it gets crazier! Come on!" [He runs into the tunnel.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "Would you stop running! I am responsible for your well-being and–" [She sighs.] "Oh, dear. Lee!" [She chases after him.]


[Cam is hanging out with Brandy and Toni while Chaz does commentary.]
Chaz: "Hold on to your hats, action junkies, 'cause we got a special–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner–" [normally] "–moment next. Decision School Dance, the president's final choice. Whose pitch will he decide to be in?"
[The Glamazons present first.]
Kimmie: "Our dance theme, is Fashion Police." [Brandy puts a hat on Cam. Kimmie begins talking through a megaphone.] "Stop. You're under Fashion Arrest. You'll have to sit the next dance out." [She turns to Brandy.] "Oh, my. Brandy. You look divine."
[Kimmie and Brandy hi-five and begin dancing. Brandy casts a mocking glance over at Toni, who growls. Meanwhile, Tina hangs up after finishing a phone call, and Brad walks up to her.]
Brad: "Tina, hey, what's up?" [noticing her frown] "Or should I say, what's down?"
Tina: "It's these pitches! They're about as romantic as wet, moldy bread."
Brad: [taking her hands] "So, let's team up and pitch something really romantic, like–"
[Brad and Tina's eyes meet. They smile at each other.]
Brad and Tina: "A Save The Rainforest theme!"
Brad: [sultry] "Oh Tina, we are so connected."


[The shadowy figure continues running through the tunnels. Lee chases it to where two tunnels intersect.]
Vice Principal Victoria: [chasing Lee] "Stop running, we need to go back! This place is far too dangerous!"
[A loud hiss is heard. Lee stares down a corridor and gasps.]
Lee: "Blue Taz! Run!" [The tazelwurm steps into the light, revealing itself as the Red Tazelwurm.] "Oh. Red Taz. False alarm, we're totally friends." [The Red Tazelwurm leaps at the vice principal.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "AAAAAHHH!" [The Red Tazelwurm bites at her skirt.] "AAAAAAHHH!"


[Biffy is still trying to get in contact with Lee.]
Biffy: [frantic] "Where are you? Lee?!?" [He takes his cat out of his vest, then opens Lee's locker and takes out a towel.] "Okay Rumps, this, is Lee's. Got the scent?" [The cat climbs onto the towel.] "Good! Now go find 'im!" [The cat beds down on the towel.] "No, don't cuddle it! You gotta–look. I-I know you like Lee, and that's why we gotta find him, huh?" [frantic] "Lee!"


[Lee and the vice principal have shaken loose from the Red Tazelwurm. They are now running from it.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "AAAH!"
[Two cleaners round a corner in front of Lee and the vice principal.]
Lee: [scared] "Barrage's guys!"
[The robots fire. Lee pushes the vice principal out of the way, and the Red Tazelwurm skids to a stop and turns tail just before the crystals impact in front of it. The two humans duck behind a pillar, and the hazmats chase the Red Tazelwurm.]
Vice Principal Victoria: [after the cleaners leave] "Okay seriously, this is way too much!"
Lee: "It's about to get even mucher, because right through there is the brainwashing room! You have to see this." [He walks towards the room.]
Vice Principal Victoria: "A brainwashing room? Maybe–I do."
[Lee opens the door. Inside is a rack of cleaners, hanging from the ceiling. A red light beeps on one of the hazmat's chests, and it wakes up, detaching itself from the rack and dropping to the floor. It advances on Lee and the vice principal.]
Lee: "Okay that, that is not good. We gotta go!"
[They make a run for it.]


[The floating orb is once again at work. It plugs into Toni's slot, and Toni gets a phone call. When she picks up, the prank song begins to play. Her pupils shrink as Cam sidles up to her.]
Camillio: "So, I'm still deciding what group to be in and I wanna talk perks. Here's what I was thinking."
[Toni hangs up and turns to Cam.]
Toni: "Nah. We're not gonna pitch anymore. I like Tina and Brad's idea."
Camillio: "But–but they haven't even like, pitched yet! What're you talking about, bro?"
Toni: [leaving] "Have you seen Dickie anywhere?"
Brandy: "I knew we'd intimidate her." [She puts a hat on Cam's head.] "We. Win."
Camillio: [hat over his eyes] "Okay like, whoa. And like uh, what is going on, I mean what happened to like two girls fighting over me yo?"
Chaz: [zooming up] "Was the president's choice just made for him? Does the president even have a backbone? Find out next on–" [singing] "–Chaz's Corner!"
Camillio: "Would you stop that? Gimme that camera!" [He chases Chaz and Stepak.]


[The vice principal is still on the run with Lee. They slow to a stop.]
Lee: "Okay. I think they stopped chasing us."
Vice Principal Victoria: "Which is the way out?"
Lee: [choosing a direction] "This way. Look, I'm really sorry about all this."
Vice Principal Victoria: "Don't be. I knew something was going on. Ever since Barrage became principal."
Lee: "What? You did?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "I know Barrage from before. And the gym and drama teacher. Or should I say, Doctor Pummel and Doctor Lob."
Lee: "Wha–they're doctors? How'd you guys know each other?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "I shouldn't be saying this, but all of us, including the old principal, used to work together."
Lee: "What? At another school?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Actually, more of a top secret government research program." [They exit the tunnels and enter Genius Club headquarters.] "And General Barrage was in charge."
Lee: "Okay, now you're freaking me out."
Vice Principal Victoria: "We were so close. Then it all went horribly wrong."


[Cam has joined the Glamazons' pitch.]
Camillio: "Wow, thanks Fashion Police! I'll never look uncool again!"
Kimmie and Brandy: "You can dance if you get past–the Fashion Police!"
Chaz: "There ya have it, president's choice. Oh, almost forgot. One more. Something with Brad, yay! But he's with Tina, so, boo."
Brad: [backstage with Tina] "Okay, just follow my lead. My dad was in Danceinator: Rise of the Ballerinas."
Tina: [unimpressed] "The one about robot assassins with killer pirouettes?"
[Brad signals that she has the right movie, and they take the stage.]
Brad: "Ladies, gents, principals, lunch lady, theme pitchers, esteemed pitch partner."
Tina: "Dances are about hope! They're about putting yourself out there and asking the one person you really like to go with you!"
Beth: [in the audience] "Says you!"
Brad: "No, says me too! This dance will affect the rest of our school year! Maybe even our lives." [shutting his eyes] "Everyone close your eyes for a second."
Tina: [eyes shut] "Now picture the dance. A slow song comes on, you see your date across the crowded gym; now you look up at the decorations; aren't you glad you're in a magical, mystical rainforest?"
[Holger, who has been imagining this with Greta, gets a phone call.]
Holger: [answering] "Holger says hello." [The prank song begins playing, and his pupils shrink.]
Brad: "Who are you gonna dance that last dance with in the last rainforest on the planet?!? Who's the one?!?"
Chaz: [dancing with himself] "Chaz."
Greta: [drawing close to Holger] "Holger."
Holger: [cheerfully] "Kimmie." [He walks away.]
Greta: "What? Who? Holger!"


[Lee and the vice principal walk through the library.]
Lee: "So then, what is Barrage doing?"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Maybe trying to cover up the old project by eliminating us one by one!"
Mrs. Alice: "Ssh!"
Vice Principal Victoria: "Oh! Our apologies, Mrs. Alice." [whispering] "But the General is a very powerful man. If we accuse him, and we can't back it up, well..."
Lee: "Okay. So then what do we do?"
Vice Principal Victoria: [whispering] "You stay safe for now. I'll do some research. And when Superintendent Blompkins comes in a couple of days, we'll expose Barrage for the evil monster he is!" [She smiles at Lee.] "You've done enough for now. So why don't you just get back to class. I think it's almost time to vote."


[The presentations have wrapped up.]
Chaz: "That's our show. Now it's your turn. Time to vote for your fave."
[Underground, the orb plugs into every open circuit, and everyone in school gets a call. When the call ends, they go to the voting screen and vote for Brad and Tina's pitch. Soon, the votes are in.]
Chaz: "And, your dance theme is–" [He looks shocked when he sees the results.] "Brad and Tina's Save The Rainforest?" [faking a laugh] "Are you kidding me, that's a joke, right?"
[The cheers from most of the school prove him incorrect. Lee is one of the few not cheering.]
Lee: "Wait. Save The Rainforest?" [He remembers the plans in the brainwashing room.] "Just like it said downstairs!" [He contemplates this turn of events.]


[That night, Lee has a video chat with Biffy.]
Biffy: "Wow, secret government project? That's huge! It's just a good thing you're okay. Rumps was uh, really worried." [That cat is sleeping soundly on his shoulder.]
Lee: "Yeah, she looks pretty worried."
Biffy: "Oh yeah, well, she's just exhausted after all that worrying okay I may have been a little worried too! But only 'cause you owe me ten bucks!"
Lee: [laughing] "Later Biff. G'night Rumps."
[Lee shuts his video chat with Biffy only for another one to pop up instantly. This one is from Cam.]
Camillio: "Yo Lee, the craziest thing happened man! Everything seemed all chill one second, and then the next Holger's asking Kimmie to the dance!"
Lee: "What?"
Camillio: "Yeah but that's not even the crazy part man! I think she said yes, yo!"
Mrs. Ping: [outside] "Lights out!" [She switches off his lights.]
Lee: "I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow." [He signs off.]
Lee's Inner Monologue: Well, I guess you've won another round, Rad. But I've got an ally on the inside now. And I think your time might be running out! And I–wait.
Lee: [astounded] "Holger and Kimmie?!?"
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